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Shear Nonsense

“Think of An

An easier way of cious Providence to the we them to be brother dictating letters

a better way of writing them.


Ten Times Quicker Than
Old Card System

An Accident of Birth.
Visible When the late P. T. Barnum was exhibiting

his famous Siamese twins they were, as is

well remembered, a wonderful sensation.
The Chicago Journal retells the old story of

to the
a certain divine, accompanied by his daughter,
Index who was much interested. The young woman

asked where the twins were born. Mr. Bar-
Saves its cost each

num told them that they were born in Siam. month.OneClerk on

"And are they brothers?” asked the clerical a Rand equals four gentleman.

REG.U.S.PAT. OFF.W. on old card index. "Oh, yes," said the world's greatest press

Simply a touch agent. and the name wanted

"Well, well !” said the visitor. flashes before your eye.

that, Mary! good and kind of a graNo opening of drawers-no TRADEMARK card fumbling-no misplac- and to have linked a pair of strangers Holds 100 to 1,000,000 cards. ed cards - no bending of 200 visible at a glance.

gether for life !" back -no eye-straining as with the old card index. New Cards inserted er old ones removed without disturbing arrangement.

Why She Smiled. lo rotary, stationary, book form or wall bracket styles.

The Senator and the Major, says Harper's Every Business-Large or Small-Needs It

Don't blame your stenographer beMonthly, were walking up the Avenue. The Used by National Shawmut Bank, Bell Telephone Co., Stand.

cause she writes "border" when you said ard Oil Cos. and others, for listing or indexing prices, addresses Senator was more than middle-aged and con

"order.". It is the fault of the complior correspondence.

siderably more than fat, and, dearly as the So simple it's equally adapted to the small business, too.

cated and artificial system which takes Will you accept from a book telling how to save time and Major loved him, he also loved his joke. money: Write-it's yours by return mail. The Senator turned with a pleased expres

the time of two people to dictate letters. THE RAND CO., Dept. C. J., North Tonawanda, N.Y. sion on his benign countenance and said,

Its very complexity increases the chance Bo Union Square, New York City 200 Rosenbloom, Bldg, Syracuse, N.Y. 1229 Munsay Bldg., Baldmora, id 824 White Bidg., Buffalo, N.Y.1 Major, did you see that pretty girl smile at for making mistakes. 108 W. Monroe &l, Chicago 806 Fourth St., St. Louis, Mo.

Don't blame your stenographer be642 Liberty Ave., Pittsburgh, PL 605-18t East, Calgary, Alberta, Can. 284 Congreso 8L , Boston Clarko & Courts Bldg., Galveston, Ter.

"Oh, that's nothing," replied his friend. cause she cannot have your letters ready X2 Clay St, San Francisco, Cal. 707 Spraçao Ave., Spokano, Wasb. 683-689 Euclid Ave., Cloroland 418 Central Bldg., Rooboster, N. Y. "The first time I saw you I laughed out loud !" on time. She has to spend most of the

day “getting ready' to write them-tak

Tact. SEND $5. TODAY

ing notes, or sitting idle at your desk, "Oh, thank you !" exclaimed an elderly while you are interrupted by 'phone or for telephone convenience woman, as recorded in the London Tit-Bits, caller. and permanent desk order to a laborer who surrendered his seat in a Dictate to the Dictaphone and simplify crowded car. "Thank you very much !"

your correspondence problem. No waitThe Equipoise Telephone Arm “That's orl right, mum, was the rejoinder.

ing, no annoying interruptions, no quesplaces your telephone always As the woman sat down the chivalrous

tions to disturb your train of thought. within your reach, and keeps it laborer added : always out of your way. It is

The whole day for your stenographer to the impossibility of keeping the in

"Wot I ses is, a man never ort to let a strument out of your way woman stand. Some men never gets up un

typewrite your letters. that keeps your desk in less she's young and pretty; but, you see, mum,

Ask for a demonstration on your own disorder, it don't make no difference to me.".

work. Reach for your telephone and call You only have to spend $5

up the Dictaphone. If you don't find once; and if you think the Equipoise Arm is not worth Two Minutes Intermission.

that name in the book, write to very cent of the investment, your money back willingly.

National Office Appliance Co... This story is told by Everybody's of an 705 State Street CAMDEN, N. J. absent-minded professor at Drew Theological

(Columbia Graphophone Company) WOULD you like to own a good paying mall order Seminary. One evening while studying he had business! We have a line that gets repeat orders all the need of a bookmark. Seeing nothing else

(Sole Distributors) time; you can start in spare time; Invest a dollar or two handy, he used his wife's scissors, which lay Suite 1706, Woolworth Bldg., New York week and soon own a nice business of your own. Write

Stores in the principal cities—dealers everywhere

A few minutes later Zor particulars. on the sewing-table.

"Your Day's Work”-a book we should like to send you NADI00, 1682 Belmont Avenue, Ohicago, Ill. the wife wanted the scissors, but a diligent

Official Dictating Machine search failed to reveal them.

of the Panama-Pacific International Exposition The next day the professor appeared before

his class and opened his book. There lay
Costs little, no plumbing, little water. the lost scissors. He picked them up and,

Weight 15 pounds, folds into small roll.
Full length bacha, far better than tin tube. Lasto holding them above his head, shouted:

for years. Write for speolal scents offer and description.
Loblaton Bath Cabinet Co.. 423 Factories Blde, Toledo, 0.
"Here they are, dear!"

I guarantee to fit you or refund your money.

You choose from the Do you want a free round-trip ticket to

He Knew.

Season's newest designs,

comprising 200 of the he Panama-Pacific Exposition and cash for

handsomest weaves and expenses? You may have both in payment In the Baltimore American appears this


Learn what real shirt or spare time work this summer. Full par- pathetic story:

comfort is iculars upon request. Parkwood Bureau, “Say, boy, somebody told me I would find

Just the right arm and oth floor, 134 W.29th St., New York.-Adv. a spanking team in this neighborhood. Do

body length, amplechest

room and correct neck you know where they are ?"


I take all the risks. "In our house, mister. They're pa and ma."

Send for free package of samples and self meas.

uring chart. I prepay There Was a Pause.

charges to all points in the United States and will

refund the money if the According to the Atlanta Georgian, Judge

goodsare notsatisfactory.

No agents. Hanington, when leader of the opposition in the New Brunswick legislature, representing


166 River St., Troy, NY, CORRECT ENGRAVING

the county of Westmoreland, was once delivand FINE STATIONERY

ering a vigorous address in the house against The making of Wedding and Social Invitations, Visit

If PEDAPADS fail to cure ing Cards,and Stamped

Paper is our special work done some measure of the government, then led by CALLOUSES in our own shop. Samples and prices upon request. Mr. Blair.

by absorption a painful

Callous, Bunion or tenLYCETT, Society Stationer

"Oh, that my constituents in Westmoreland der, aching Feet in ten days we refund the money. No 317 N. Charles Street

Baltimore, Md.
(Continued on page 75.)

cutting, no bother whatever; just PEDAPADS. 50 cents
postpaid. THE PEDAPAD CO., 2A Park Square, Boston, Mass.




Folding BATH TUB



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(Continued from page 53.) Paralyze him, strike him cold. That's what a kiss of yours'd do."

"You ought to a been a parson," said Joe, “that's what you'd ought. There's many would a paid you for talk like that. But for all your fine talk, and for all your dandy language, you'll not come the old soldier over me. No, nor ten of you. You talk of kissing, when there's a handsome young man, the likes of me, around? Neither you nor ten of you. To hear you talk one'd think you was a Emperor or a Admiral. One would think you was a Bishop or a King. One might mistake you for a General or a Member of Parliament. You might. Straight, you might. A General or a Bishop or a King. And what are you? What are you? I ask you plain. What are you?-I'll tell you what you are.

"You're him as hired himself out as a scarecrow, acos no one'd take you as a fo'c's'le hand. You're him as give the colic to a weather-cock. You're him as turned old Mother Bomby's beer. You're him as drowned the duck and stole the monkey. You're him as got the medal give him for having a face that made the bull tame. You're-"

"Now don't you cast no more to me." said Jerry.

"For I won't take no lip from a twelve-a-shilling, cent-a-corner, the likes of you are.

You're the clip pings of old junk, what the Dagoes smokes in cigarets. A swab, and a washdeck-broom, and the half of a pint of paint 'd make a handsomer figer of a man than what you are.

I've seen a coir whisk, what they grooms a mule with, as had a sweeter face than you got. So stand aside, before you're put aside. I'm the king of this here island. You can go chase yourself for another. Stand clear, I say, or I'll give you a jog'll make your bells ring."

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OW, while they were argufying, young Jim, the young apprentice

feller, he creeps up to the queen upon the throne. She was beautiful, she was, and she shone in the sun, and she looked straight ahead of her like a waxwork in a show. And in her hand she had a sack full of jewels, and at her feet she had a sack full of gold, and by her side was an empty throne ready for the king she married.

But round her right hand there was a red snake, and round her left hand there was a blue snake, and the snakes hissed and twisted and they showed their teeth full of poison. So Jim looked at the snakes, and he hit them a welt, right and left, and he kissed the lady.

And immediately all the bells and the birds of the world burst out a-ringing and a-singing. The lady awoke from her sleep, and Jim's old clothes were to cloth of gold. And there he was, a king, on the throne beside the lady.

But the red snake turned to a big red devil who took a hold of Joe, and the blue snake turned to a big blue devil who took a hold of Jerry. And "Come you here, you brawling pugs,” they said. "come and shovel sand."

And Joe and Jerry took the spades that were given to them, now," said the devils. "Heave roundLet's see you dig. Dig, you scarecrows And tell us when you've dug to London."

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What the Bond Buyer Has a

Right to Expect

lo Addition to Reasonable Interest Return

1. The assurance of ample security behind

his bonds through recommendation by a

reputable investment banker. 2. A comprehensive and accurate statement

of the physical and financial condition of the property, based upon the inves

tigations of experts. 3. Kegular and prompt interest payments

at stipulated rates during the life of

the bonds. 4. The return of the full face value of the

bonds at maturity. 5. A reasonable market in accordance with

existing market conditions. 6. A copy of the report of the latest ap

praisal of the property upon request. 7. Assurance of a conservative ratio of

bonded indebtedness to value of pro

perties mortgaged. 8. Assurance of sufficiency and legality

of franchise and mortgage provisions,

through competent legal opinion.
9 A sufficient margin of safety in earnings.
Send for our Circular C 15, entitled, How
to Select a Good Bond." This circular cov-
ers in greater detail many of the points

mentioned above.
N. W. Halsey & Co.
New York Philadelphia Chicago

London, Eng. San Francisco

A. B. Leach & Co.

Owners of

The articles appearing in this department are written by an expert

in financial matters. Their aim Non-Dividend

will be to give conservative, reli

able and instructive information. Paying Stocks

The information bureau conducted in this department is for the benefit

of our subscribers. We shall be are invited to send for

pleased to answer to the best of our special letter we have just

ability any inquiries relative to in

vestments. Write us. prepared which contains information and suggestions of value for those THE INVESTORS' PREDICAowning securities the in

MENT. come returns from which

Much has been written in these colhave ceased.

umns about security of principal.

It has been the aim of the writer to
Send for this special

impress his readers with the necessity
letter No. EF-90

of looking first to the absolute safety
of the amount invested, and then to an
adequate income yield.

During the past month or two many

facts have been developed by the various Investment Securities

investigations of railroad methods of

finance which have shaken the confi149 Broadway, New York

dence of the public in what were here105 So. La Salle St., Chicago

tofore regarded as some of our fore

most railway properties. Whether these Boston


revelations as to high finance can be
London, Eng eventually substantiated, or whether the

facts as presented to the public have
been grossly magnified by the investi-
gators for the sake of political aggran-
disement, is a point which will have to
be determined in the future as the actual
facts develop. But be that as it may,

the credit of our railway corporations
DOLLARS OUT OF ONE has been seriously impaired, and the im-

pairment of this credit may have a farWHILE YOU WAIT

reaching effect on some of the securities THIS PICTURE BOOKLET

of the properties now under fire.

When blood has once been tasted it gives you the vital facts about investments in Municipal, Timberland and GUARANTEED

is only animal nature to thirst for more, Real Estate Bonds in $100 and $500 pieces for and since public sentiment is, on the cash or on installments.

whole, against corporations and trusts, Money compounding at 6% makes two dollars out of one in a surprisingly short time.

it is evident that the successful prose-
Write for booklet 114.M

cution of one railway, corporation by
the administration will lead to many
more suits of a similar nature against


Should these suits be successfully

prosecuted, and our principal railway EXAMINING 43,337 ESTATES systems disintegrated, it is then of vital

importance for the bondholder to deterrevealed the fact that 41,329 left less than mine his precise situation in reference been built up by investments in our

to the securities he holds.

If the holder of a bond has taken the 6% Farm Mortgages WERE RIGHT

precaution to assure himself as to the

intrinsic worth of his holdings, and has
on productive Northwest fara lands.
"We're Right on the Ground an famil-

become convinced that his bond is a
lar with all details. We have operated mortgage close to the rails of one of

our large railway systems which has E. J. LANDER & CO.,

been showing adequate earnings, then

he need not be worried by any of these

N. D. disturbing influences which are threat-
Established 1883.
Capital and Sarplus $400,000.00 ening the successful operation of our

railway systems at the present time.
and inventive ability lic as well as

During periods of prosperity, the pub

some of the banking of

institutions become carried away with ventions," Patent Buyers and “How to Get Your Patent and Your Money. Advice FREE.

the increased earnings of our railway RANDOLPH

& co., Patent Attorneys, Dept. 75, Washington,, and it is not difficult for

some of these banking institutions to

6% MAKES TWO facts develop


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J. I. Case Threshing

Machine Co. First Mortgage 6's


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A thoroughly sound investment netting 6%. Business established 72 years ago; uniformly successful record; assets nearly 3 to 1; net earnings nearly 3 to 1; part of security is farmers' notes which alone would liquidate the entire bond issue.

Many substantial estates have


Ask for Circular T

for thirty years without a loss to a client.
Write for Free Booklet Kand currentlist.


Peabody, Houghteling & Co.

(Established 1865)

MEN OF IDEAS should write for new

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6% July Investments


The most conservative investors limit their purchases to first mortgage bonds, and increase the soundness of their holdings by diversifying theirinvestments, placing theirfunds in several different issues.

In response to this general demand we have selected from our July Investment List a few well-diversified 6% bond issues, directly secured by first mortgages on the following:

Store and office building on centrally located Chicago corner,

valued at more than twice the bonds.

New downtown Minneapolis store and office building, owned by a corporation with net assets nearly three times the bond issue.

New buildings occupied by the largest department store in Pittsburgh, Pa., founded 43 years ago.

New downtown Kansas City office building, costing more than twice the total amount of bonds.

These bonds are issued in denominations of $100, $500. and $1,000, and will come dac and be paid in serial installments in two to ten years, giving investors a choice of maturities.

The fact that no investor has ever suffered loss of either principal or interest on any security purchased of us since this House was founded in 1882 is a record which we commend to the attention of investors, and which we believe is an ample basis for confidence.

Call or write for Circular No. 579_G


float securities which show adequate have never sold below 105 and the fives
earnings for the properties at the time. below 93.
they are placed upon the market, but These bonds are to-day selling at 112
which in times of depression or during and 103 respectively.
a political upheaval may not be able On the other hand, the St. Louis &
to earn the interest on these securities. San Francisco Railroad Company had

Securities of this character, however, an issue of general lien five per cent.
are usually handled by what are known bonds outstanding on July 31, 1913, to
as International Bankers, and are sold the amount of $69,524,000. A large por.
at a price where the income yield is tion of these bonds had been sold
high, and the purchasers realize that abroad, and although the name
there is an element of risk attached to somewhat similar to the St. Louis &
their purchase, but which are bought San Francisco Railway general mort.
with a view to a possible enhancement gage fives, they were not protected by
in value. A large portion of these se- anything like the same ratio of security.
curities is taken by foreign purchasers. These bonds have sold as low as 45

The Conservative Bond House must since the receivership, and are to-day not be confused with the International selling close to this figure. Banking House.

This only goes to illustrate that if the The former purchases bond issues for investor has been judicious enough to its own account, after a careful and ascertain that his principal is adequately

thorough investigation as to safety of secured through periods of prosperity principal and interest.

as well as depression, he need not suffer No stone is left unturned in making a even though the company pass into the complete study of the property from hands of a receiver. every standpoint of intrinsic worth, and The railroads are in a critical condi. when the securities are finally offered to tion to-day. Some are now under inthe investors they can rest assured that vestigation, others are in line to be if the offering is made by a responsible investigated later on. house, then their interests have been Whether innocent or guilty, an investi. safeguarded and the investment can be gation of this kind injures the credit of relied upon.

a road. On the other hand, the International It is difficult for the railroads with Banker does not always take these good credit to borrow money at the same precautions for the protection of present time, except at abnormally high his clients.

rates. If the road's credit is questioned i

He is often the fiscal agent for the it is even more difficult and the rates property whose securities he handles, correspondingly higher. and these securities

generally If the railroads are obliged to pay a wholesaled and placed with foreign in- higher rate to procure money, they are

stitutions to be distributed at a price to also compelled to provide a greater sum yield a high rate of income.

from their earnings to pay the interest Of late a number of these issues have on the money borrowed. been unable to meet their interest pay- This being the case, and with the rail. ments, and it is apparent that quite a roads. showing, constantly decreasing few more will find themselves in the earnings, it makes the situation serious same predicament before long.

and requires some radical remedy to The American railways to-day are in prevent disaster. a sad plight.

It has been asserted that high-handed So many compulsory restrictions have methods have been used by the directbeen placed upon them that it has ors in dealing with the finances of one caused the cost of operation to increase of our railroads, which has plunged it in a greater ratio than the gross earn- into the sorry plight in which it now ings — then wages

higher than finds itself. heretofore, and taxes have increased. We are informed that the presumably

It is in times such as these that the existing business depression is merely investor should carefully scrutinize his psychological. investments.

We are also informed that the busi. In some cases receiverships have al- ness of the country is in reality in the ready taken place, in other instances midst of prosperity, and that those who they are imminent.

do not grasp the real state of affairs are If an investment has the proper value simply in a state of mental mourning. behind it, it is not apt to be disturbed However, the truth is that nearly all in case of receivership and reorganiza- lines of business throughout the countion, whereas some of the junior securi- try are at low ebb. ties may not fare so well.

The facts cannot be contraverted. Take for example the St. Louis & San I have talked to a great many men, Francisco Railroad Co. Receivers were representing diversified lines of business appointed in May, 1913, owing to the and I have yet to find one who has not inability of the company to raise funds said that his business was badly affected to meet a note issue which was due and that they were reducing their force June 1 of that year.

of employees. At the time of receivership the St. Gold continues to be exported from Louis & San Francisco had outstanding, this country to the other side. including, subsidiary companies, bonds At the time this article is written $11,totaling in amount over three hundred 500,000 in gold has been engaged for million dollars.

export this week. This is not a good The St. Louis & San Francisco Rail- omen of prosperity. way general mortgage fives due 1931 We have one bright spot to look forand the general mortgage sixes due ward to, however. The indications are 1931 were practically a first mortgage that we shall have the largest crops on on the property, and the total amount record. of bonds of these two issues, which, Let us hope that this will be the turn. though bearing a different rate of inter- ing point from a depressed state in the est, were secured by the same mortgage, business and financial world to an era of amounted to only $9,484,000 out of the prosperity free from any political influ. $320,000,000 of securities.

ence which may overshadow our natural These bonds were regarded as a per- resources. fectly safe, well-secured investment, and even since the receivership the sixes

Edward D. Reeves.

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Animosities. The Sacred Heart Review is not always as Flemn as the name implies. It gives us this: PASSENGER.—That last station was my destiation, sah. Why, sah, didn't you stop thar? CONDUCTOR.—We don't stop there any more. ne engineer's mad at the station agent.

He Did Not Mind.

Ikey Ikey, tailor by trade, had just taken t an insurance policy. A few hours later,

London Tit-Bits relates, by a curious coinJence, a fire broke out, which consumed his op and its contents. The insurance company uld find no ground on which to refuse payent, but the letter which accompanied their eck concluded as follows: "We note that your policy was issued at ne on Friday, and that the fire did not take ace until three o'clock the same day. Why is delay ?"

“Thank Heaven

For the

2 Extra Savage Shots"

Taking Care of the Family.
This came from Everybody's and is about
Florado, where the women vote as well as

In the fall of 1910 a man named Smith
Es running for sheriff against a man named
hes. One evening just before election Smith
le up to the barn-yard of an old farmer.
e farmer was milking a cow and was hav-

difficulty with a lusty calf that continually ed to "butt in." The candidate, to gain the ror of the farmer, took the calf between his s and held it until the milking was done. then introduced himself: "I am Mr. Smith,

Republican candidate for sheriff of the unty. I suppose you know the man who's ning against me?" The farmer's eyes twinkled as he slowly


I Fechami Wifems the baloom sbe your heart.

F your wife is left alone she may some day say that, and you will

She may use up five or six bullets, shooting through the door or window, and then turn unexpectedly to face another burglar, the pal, who has been inside all the time.

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Let me tell you, by mail, how I cured myself, after 30 years
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WALTER MCDONNELL, Drawer F 708, Station F, Washington, D. C.

for publication Send us your

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Soft for the Cat.

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he immediately ordered a ton of soft i.”


Stained with Cabol's Creosote Stains
W. P. Seaver, Architect, New York

Ve picked this up under Everybody's chest

tree: le found his own front porch with wonful accuracy, navigated the steps with preon, and discovered the key-hole by inct. Once in the dimly-lighted hall, there

an ominous silence followed by a tredous crash. Why, what has happened, Henry?" came a e from above. t's all right, Mary, but I'11—I'll learn e goldfish to snap at me!"

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MSS. criticized, revised, and typed ; also, sold
on commission. Big story contest. Free book.
let, "WRITING FOR PROFIT," tells how,

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16 Oliver Street, Boston, Mass.

Agents all over the country

tlon, Dept. 41, Indianapolis, Ind.


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