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Sir Benj. Sir Peter, we are all very glad to find the story of the duel is not true.
Crab. And exceedingly sorry for your other misfortunes:
Mrs. Cand. Though, as Sir Peter was so good a husband, I pity him sincerely.
Sir Pet. Plague of your pity.
Crab. As you continued so long a batchelor, you was certainly to blame to marry at all.
Sir Pet. Sir, I desire you'll consider this is my own house.
Sir Benj. However, you must not be offended at the jesis you'll meet on this occasion.
Crab. It is no uncommon case, that's one thing:
Sir Pet. I insist upon being master here; in plain terms, I desire you'll leave my house immediately.
Mrs. Cand. Well, well, Sir, we are going, and you may depend upon it; we sball make the best of the story *). [Exit.]
Sir Benj. And tell how badly you bave been treated.
say Fiends, furies, there is no bearing it!
Rowl. And Sir Oliver is convinced your judgment is right after all.
Sir Olió. Ay, Joseph is the man.
But how comes it, Sir Peter, that you don't join in his praises ?
Rowl. Sir Oliver, we live in a damu'd wicked world, and the fewer we praise the better. Sir Oliv. Right, right, my old friend
always so moderate in your judgment ?
But was you
*) To make the best or the most of any thing, heisst eigentlich: eine Sache aufs beste benutzen. Die Redensart scheint vom Verkauf entlehnt zu seyn, wo man bemüht ist, den höchsten Preis für eine Sache zu erhalten.
Rowl. Do you say so, Sir Peter, you who never was mistaken in
suppose you are acquainted with the whole affair.
Rowl. I am indeed, Sir. + I met Lady Teazle returning from Mr. Surfaces, so humbled, that she deigned to beg even me to become her advocate.
Sir Pet. What! does Sir Oliver know it too?
Sir Olio. Yes, and the little French milliner too. I never laughed more in my life.
Sir Peti And a very pleasant jest it was.
Sir Oliv. You must have made a pretty appearanco when Charles dragged you out of the closet.
Sir Pet. Yes, yes, that was very diverting.
Sir Oliv. And, egad, Sir Peter, I should like to have seen your face when the screen was thrown down.
Sir Per. My face when the screen was thrown down! Oh yes! There's no bearing this.
[ Aside. ] Sir Oliv. Come, come, my old friend, don't be vexed, for I can't help laughing for the soul of me. Ha! ha! ha! Sir Pet. On, laugh on - I am not vexed
no, no; it is the pleasantest thing in the world. To be the standing jest of all one's acquaintance, 'tis the happiest situation imaginable.
Rowl. See, Sir, yonder's my Lady Teazle.coming this way, and in tears, let me beg of you to be reconciled.
Sir Oliv. Well, well, i'll leave Rowley to mediate between you,
and take my leave; but you must make haste after me to Mr. Surlace's, where I go, if not to reclaim a libertine, at least to expose bypocrisy.
[ Exit.] Sir Pet. I'll be with you at the discovery; I should like to see it, though it is a vile unlucky place for discoveries. Rowley (looking out] she's not coming this way.
'Rowl. No, Sir, but she has left the room-door open, and waits your coming.
Sir Pet. Well, certainly mortification is very becoming in a wife. Don't you think I had best 'ler her pine a little longer?
Rowl. Oh, Sir, that's being too severe.
Sir Pet. I don't think so; the letter I found from Charles was evidently intended for her.
Rowl. Indeed, Sir Peter, you are much mistaken.
Sir Pet. If I was convinced of that see, Master Rowley, she looks this way what a remarkable elegant turn of the head she has
· I have a good mind to go to her. Rowl. Do, dear Sir.
Sir Pet. But when it is known that we are reconciled, I shall be laughed at more than ever,
Rowl. Let them laugh on, and retort their malice upon themselves, by shewing them you can be happy in spite of their slander.
Sir Pet. Faith and so I will, Master Rowley, and my Lady Teazle and I may still be the happiest couple in the country.
Rowl. O fie, Sir Péter, he that lays aside suspicion
never let me hear you utter any thing like a sentiment again; I have had enough of that to last me *) the remainder of my life.
Enter Joseph and Lady Sneerwell. L. Sncer. Impossible! Will not Sir Peter be immediately reconciled to Charles, and no longer oppose his union with Maria?
· Jos. Can paston mend it?
L. Sneer. No, nor cunning neither. I was a fool to league with such a blunderer **).
Jos. Sure, my Lady Soeerwell, I am the greatest sufferer in this affair, and yet, you see, I bear it with calmness.
L. Sneer. Because the disappointment does not reach your heart; your interest only was concerned. Had
felt for Maria, what I do for that unfortunate libertine, your brother, you would not be dissuaded from taking every revenge in your power.
*) Um davon einen Vorrath zu haben., Mensch der sich leicht übereilt, ein Tölpel.
**) Blunderer, ein
Jos. Why will you rail at me for the disappointment.
L. Sneer. Are you not the cause? Had you not a sufficient field for your roguery in imposing upon Sir Peter, and supplanting your brother, but you must endeavour to seduce his wife. I hate such an avarice of crimes; 'tis an unfair mo. nopoly, and never prospers.
Jos. Well, I own I am to blame I have deviated from the direct rule of wrong. Yet, I cannot think circumstances are so bad as your Ladyship apprehends.
L. Sneer. No!
Jos. You tell me you have made another trial of Snake, that he still proves steady to our interest, and that he is ready, if occasion requires, to swear' to a contract having passed between Charles and your Ladyship.
L. Sneer. And what then?
Jos. Why, the letters which have been so carefully circulated, will corroborate his evidence, and prove the truth of the assertion. But I expect my uncle every moment, and must beg your Ladyship to retire into the next room.
L. Sneer. But if he should find me out.
Jos: I have no fear of that Şir Peter won't tell for his own sake, and I shall soon find 'out Sir Oliver's weak side.
L. er. Nay, I have no doubt of your abilities, only be constant to one villany at a time.
Jos. Well, I will, I will. [ Exit Lady Sneerwell.] is confounded hard though, to be baited by one's confederas tes in wickedness [knocking] Who have we got here? My uncle Oliver, I suppose Ob; old Stanley again! How came he here? He must not stay
'Enter Sir Oliver. I told you already, Mr. Stanley, that it was not in my povrer to relieve you.
Sir Oliv. But I hear, Sir, that Sir Oliver is arrived, and perhaps he might -Jos. Well, Sir; you cannot stay now, Sir, but
other time, Sir; you shall certainly be relieved.
Sir Oliv. Oh, Sir Oliver and I must be acquainted.
Jos. I must insist upon your going. Indeed Mr. Stanley, you can't stay
Sir Oliv. Positively I must see Sir Oliver.
Enter Charles. Char. Hey day! what's the matter? Why, who the devil have we got, here! What, my little Premium. Oh, brother, you must not hurt my little broker. But hark ye, Joseph, wliat, have
you been borrowing money too? Jos. Borrowing money! No, brother
We expect my uncle Oliver here every minute, and Mr. Stanley insists upon seeing him.
Char. Stanley! Why his name is Premium.
Char. No more it don't, as you say, brother; for I suppose he goes by half a hundred names,, besides A. B. at the coffee-houses *). But old Noll must not come and catch my little broker here neither.
Jos. Mr. Stanley, I beg -
[Both pushing bım.]
Sir Peter. What, my old friend Sir Oliver! what's the matter?
In the name of wonder were there ever two such ungracions nephews, to assault their uncle at bis first visit.
L. Teaz. On my word, Sir, it was well we came to your rescue.
Jos. Charles !
Sir Pet. You find, Sir Oliver, your necessitous character of old Stanley could not protect you. i Sir Oliv. No! nor Premium neither. The necessities of the former could not extract a shilling from that benevoleni gentleman there; and with the other I stood a worse chance
*) Es ist in England üblich, dass sich jemand, der beige wissen Angelegenheiten seinen eigentlichen Namen nicht bekane werden lassen will, durch einige Buchstaben des Alphabets 5. E. X. Y. kenntlich macht. Er macht diese Addresse in irgend ei nem Kaffeehause bekannt und kann so leicht gefunden werden.