Sir Benj. Sir Peter, we are all very glad to find the story of the duel is not true.

Crab. And exceedingly sorry for your other misfortunes. 'Sir Pet. So, so, all over the town already.

[Aside.] Mrs. Cand. Though, as Sir Peter was so good a husband, I pity him sincerely.

Sir Pet. Plague of your pity.

Crab. As you continued so long a batchelor, you was certainly to blame to marry at all.

Sir Pet. Sir, I desire you'll consider this is my own house. Sir Benj. However, you must not be offended at the jests you'll meet on this occasion.

Crab. It is no uncommon case, that's one thing.

Sir Pet. I insist upon being master here; in plain terms, I desire you'll leave my house immediately.

Mrs. Cand. Well, well, Sir, we are going, and you may depend upon it; we shall make the best of the story *). [Exit.]

Sir Benj. And tell how badly you have been treated.
Sir Pet. Leave my house directly. [Exit Sir Benjamin.]
Crab. And how patiently you bear it.

Sir Pet. Leave my house,

is no bearing it!

I say

Enter Rowley.

[Exit Crabtree. ] Fiends, furies, there

Sir Oliv. Well, Sir Peter, I have seen my nephews. Rowl. And Sir Oliver is convinced your judgment is right after all.

Sir Oli. Ay, Joseph is the man.

Rowl. Such sentiments!

Sir Oliv. And acts up to the sentiments he professes.
Rowl. Oh, 'tis edification to hear him talk.

Sir Oliv. He is a pattern for the young men of the age But how comes it, Sir Peter, that you don't join in his praises?

Rowl. Sir Oliver, we live in a damn'd wicked world, and the fewer we praise the better.

Sir Oliv. Right, right, my old friend

But was you

al

ways so moderate in your judgment?

*) To make the best or the most of any thing, heifst eigentlich eine Sache aufs beste benutzen.

Die Redensart scheint

vom Verkauf entlehnt zu seyn, ΤΟ man bemüht ist, den höchsten Preis für eine Sache zu erhalten.

Rowl. Do you say so, Sir Peter, you who never was mistaken in your life?

Sir Pet. Oh, the plague of your jokes

are acquainted with the whole affair.

Rowl. I am indeed, Sir. I met Lady Teazle returning from Mr. Surface's, so humbled, that she deigned to beg even me to become her advocate.

Sir Pet. What! does Sir Oliver know it too?

Sir Oliv. Ay, aye, every circumstance. 1

Sir Pet. What! about the closet and the screen.

Sir Olio. Yes, and the little French milliner too. I never

laughed more in my life.

Sir Pet. And a very pleasant jest it was.

Sir Oliv.

This is your man of sentiments, Sir Peter.
Sir Pet. Oh damn his sentiments.

Sir Oliv. You must have made a pretty appearance when Charles dragged you out of the closet.

Sir Pet. Yes, yes, that was very diverting.

Sir Oliv. And, egad, Sir Peter, I should like to have seen your face when the screen was thrown down.

Sir Pet. My face when the screen was thrown down!

Oh yes! There's no bearing this.

Sir Oliv. Come, come, my old friend, for I can't help laughing for the soul of me.

[Aside.] don't be vexed,

Ha

ha! ha!

no, no; it

Sir Pet. Oh, laugh on I am not vexed is the pleasantest thing in the world. To be the standing jest of all one's acquaintance, 'tis the happiest situacion imaginable.

Rowl. See, Sir, yonder's my Lady Teazle coming this way, and in tears, let me beg of you to be reconciled.

Sir Oliv. Well, well, I'll leave Rowley to mediate between you, and take my leave; but you must make haste after me to Mr. Surface's, where I go, if not to reclaim a libertine, at least to expose hypocrisy.

[Exit.]

Sir Pet. I'll be with you at the discovery; I should like to see it, though it is a vile unlucky place for discoveries. Rowley [looking out] she's not coming this way.'

Row!. No, Sir, but she has left the room-door open, and waits your coming.

Sir Pet. Well, certainly mortification is very becoming in
Don't you think I had best let her pine a little

a wife. longer?

Rowl. Oh, Sir, that's being too severe.

Sir Pet. I don't think so; the letter I found from Charles was evidently intended for her.

Rowl. Indeed, Sir Peter, you are much mistaken.

Sir Pet. If I was convinced of that see, Master Rowley, she looks this way what a remarkable elegant turn of the head she has I have a good mind to go to her. Rowl. Do, dear Sir.

Sir Pet. But when it is known that we are reconciled, I shall be laughed at more than ever,

Rowl. Let them laugh on, and retort their malice upon themselves, by shewing them you can be happy in spite of

their slander.

Sir Pet. Faith and so I will, Master Rowley, and my Lady Teazle and I may still be the happiest couple in the

country.

Rowl. O fie, Sir Peter, he that lays aside suspicion Sir Pet. My dear Rowley, if you have any regard for never let me hear you utter any thing like a sentiment again; I have had enough of that to last me *) the remainder of my life.

me,

[Exeunt.]

SCENE III.

Joseph's Library.

Enter Joseph and Lady Sneerwell.

L. Sncer. Impossible! Will not Sir Peter be immediately reconciled to Charles, and no longer oppose his union with Maria?

Jos. Can pas on mend it?

L. Sneer. No, nor cunning neither. I was a fool to league with such a blunderer **).

Jos. Sure, my Lady Sneerwell, I am the greatest sufferer in this affair, and yet, you see, I bear it with calmness.

L. Sneer. Because the disappointment does not reach your heart; your interest only was concerned. Had you felt for Maria, what I do for that unfortunate libertine, your brother, you would not be dissuaded from taking every revenge in your power.

*) Um davon einen Vorrath zu haben. **) Blunderer, ein Mensch der sich leicht übereilt, ein Tölpel.

Jos. Why will you rail at me for the disappointment.

L. Sneer. Are you not the cause? Had you not a sufficient field for your roguery in imposing upon Sir Peter, and supplanting your brother, but you must endeavour to seduce his wife. I hate such an avarice of crimes; 'tis an unfair mo

nopoly, and never prospers.

Jos. Well, I own I am to blame - I have deviated from ⚫ the direct rule of wrong. Yet, I cannot think circumstances are so bad as your Ladyship apprehends.

L. Sneer. No!

Jos. You tell me you have made another trial of Snake, that he still proves steady to our interest, and that he is ready, if occasion requires, to swear to a contract having passed between Charles and your Ladyship.

L. Sneer. And what then?

Jos. Why, the letters which have been so carefully circulated, will corroborate his evidence, and prove the truth of the assertion. But I expect my uncle every moment, and must beg your Ladyship to retire into the next room.

L. Sneer. But if he should find me out.

Jos. I have no fear of that

Sir Peter won't tell for his own sake, and I shall soon find out Sir Oliver's weak

side.

L. Sneer. Nay, I have no doubt of your abilities, only be constant to one villany at a time.

Jos. Well, I will, I will.

[Exit Lady Sneerwell.].

It'

is confounded hard though, to be baited by one's confedera< tes in wickedness [knocking] Who have we got here?

My uncle Oliver, I suppose

Oh; old Stanley again! How

came he here? He must not stay

'Enter Sir Oliver.

I told you already, Mr. Stanley, that it was not in my power

to relieve you.

Sir Oliv. But I hear, Sir, that Sir Oliver is arrived, and perhaps he might

-

Jos. Well, Sir; you cannot stay now, Sir, but any other time, Sir; you shall certainly be relieved.

Sir Oliv. Oh, Sir Oliver and I must be acquainted.

Jos. I must insist upon your going. Indeed Mr. Stanley, you can't stay,

Sir Oliv. Positively I must see Sir Oliver.

Jos. Then positively you shan't stay. [Pushing him out.]

674

Enter Charles.

Char. Hey day! what's the matter? Why, who the devil have we got, here! What, my little Premium.

Oh, brother, you must not hurt my little broker. But hark ye, Joseph, what, have you been borrowing money too?

We expect my

Jos. Borrowing money! No, brother
uncle Oliver here every minute, and Mr. Stanley insists upon
seeing him.

Char. Stanley! Why his name is Premium,
Jos. No, no! I tell you his name is Stanley.
Char. But I tell you again his name is Premium.
Jos. It don't signify what his name is.

Char. No more it don't, as you say, brother; for I sup-
he by half a hundred names,, besides A. B. at the
pose goes
coffee-houses *). But old Noll must not come and catch my
little broker here neither.

Jos. Mr. Stanley, I beg

Char. And I beg, Mr. Premium
Jos. You must go indeed, Mr. Stanley.
Char. Ay, you must go, Mr. Premium.

[Both pushing him.]

Enter Sir Peter, Lady Teazle, Maria and Rowley.

Sir Peter. What, my old friend Sir Oliver! what's the matter? In the name of wonder were there ever two such ungracious nephews, to assault their uncle at bis first visit. L. Teaz. On my word, Sir, it was well we came to your rescue.

Jos. Charles!

Char. Joseph!

Jos. Now our ruin is complete.

Char. Very.

Sir Pet. You find, Sir Oliver, your necessitous character of old Stanley could not protect you.

Sir Oliv. No! nor Premium neither. The necessities of the former could not extract a shilling from that benevolent gentleman there; and with the other I stood a worse chance

*) Es ist in England üblich, dafs sich jemand, der bei ge wissen Angelegenheiten seinen eigentlichen Namen nicht bekannt werden lassen will, durch einige Buchstaben des Alphabets z. E. X. Y. kenntlich macht. Er macht diese Addresse in irgend ei nem Kaffeehause bekannt und kann so leicht gefunden werden.

t