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barterers of forged lies, coiners of scandal, and clippers of reputation.

L. Teaz. How can you be so severe; I'm sure they are all people of fashion, and very tenacious of reputation.

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Sir Pet. Yes, so tenacious of it, they'll not allow it to any but themselves.

L. Teaz. I vow, Sir Peter, when I say an ill-natured thing I mean no harm by it, for I take it for granted they'd do the same by me.

grace

Sir Pet. They've made you as bad as any of them.

L. Teaz. Yes

- I think I bear my part with a tolerable

Sir Pet. Grace indeed!

L. Teaz.

to come.

Well, but Sir Peter, you know you promised

Sir Pet. Well, I shall just call in to look after my own character.

L. Teas. Then, upon my word, you must make haste after me, or you'll be too late. [Exit Lady Teazle. ]

Sir Pet. I have got much by my intended expostulation What a charming air she has! what a neck, and how pleasingly she shews her contempt of my authority! Well, though I can't make her love me, 'tis some pleasure to teize her a little, and I think she never appears to such advantage, as when she is doing every thing to vex and plague me.

SCENE II.

Lady Sneerwell's House.

Enter Lady Sneerwell, Crabtree, Sir Benjamin, Joseph, Mrs. Candour, and Maria.

L. Sneer. Nay, positively we'll have it.

Jos. Ay, ay, the epigram by all means.

Sir Benj. Oh! plague on it, it's mere nonsense. Crab. Faith, ladies, 'twas excellent for an extempore. Sir Benj. But, ladies, you should be acquainted with the circumstances You must know that one day last week, as Lady Bab Curricle was taking the dust in Hyde-Park *), in a

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*) Wegen des unerträglichen Staubes, der an schönen Sommertagen im Hydepark herrscht, sagt Sir Benjamin aus Spott :

sort of duodecimo phaeton, she desired me to write some verses on her ponies; upon which I took out my pocket-book, and in a moment produced the following:

Sure never were seen two such beautiful ponies, ,,Other horses are clowns, and these macaronies; ,, To give them this title I'm sure can't be wrong, Their legs are so slim, and their tails are so long." Crab. There, ladies, done in the crack of a whip

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and on horseback too!

Jos. Oh! a very Phoebus mounted
Mrs. Cand. I must have a copy.

Enter Lady Teazle.

L. Sneer. Lady Teazle, how do you do, shall see Sir Peter.

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L. Teaz. I believe he will wait on your ladyship presently. L. Sneer. Maria, my love, you look grave; come, you shall sit down to piquet with Mr. Surface.

Mar. I take very little pleasure in cards but I'll do as your ladyship pleases.

L. Teaz. I wonder he would sit down to cards with Maria I thought he would have taken an opportunity of speaking to me before Sir Peter came.

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[Aside. ]

Mrs. Cand. Well, now I'll forswear his society. [Asides]
L. Teaz. What's the matter, Mrs. Candour?

Mrs. Cand. Why, they are so censorious they won't allow our friend, Miss Vermillion, to be handsome.

L. Sneer. Oh, surely she's a pretty woman.

Crab. I'm glad you think so.

Mrs. Cand. She has a charming fresh colour.

L. Teaz. Yes, when it is fresh put on.

Mrs. Cand. Well, I'll swear 'tis natural, for I've seen

it come and go.

L. Teaz. Yes, it comes at night, and goes again in morning.

the

Sir Benj. True, madam, it not only goes and comes, but what's more, egad her maid can fetch and carry it.

Mrs. Cand. Well, and what do you think of her sister?
Crab. What, Mrs. Evergreen 'foregad, she's six and

fifty if she's a day *).

was taking the dust, statt was taking the air, wie man gewöhnlich sagt. *) Sinn: Sie ist so gewifs 56 Jahr, als sie ei

nen Tag alt ist.

Mrs. Cand. Nay, I'll swear two or three and fifty is the outside - I don't think she looks more.

Sir. Benj. Oh, there's no judging by her looks, unless we could see her face.

L. Sneer. Well, if Mrs. Evergreen does take some pains to repair the ravages of time, she certainly effects it with great ingenuity, and surely that's better than the careless manner in which the widow Oaker chalks her wrinkles.

Sir Benj. Nay, now my Lady Sneerwell, you are too severe upon the widow Come, it is not that she paints so ill, but when she has finished her face, she joins it so badly to her neck, that she looks like a mended statue, in which the connoisseur may see at once that the head is modern, though the trunk is antique.

Crab. What do you think of Miss Simper?

Sir Benj. Why she has pretty teeth.

L. Teaz. Yes, and upon that account never shuts her mouth, but keeps it always a - jar, as it were, thus [shews her teeth ].

Omnes. Ha, ha, ha!

L. Teaz. And yet, I vow that's better than the pains Miss Prim takes to conceal her losses in front; she draws her mouth till it resembles the aperture of a poor-box, and all her words appear to slide out edgeways *) as it were, thus — ,, How do madum? Yes madam." L. Sneer. Ha, ha, ha; very well, Lady Teazle

you

do,

you appear to be a little severe.

. I vow

L. Teaz. In defence of a friend, you know, it is but

just. But here comes Sir Peter to spoil our

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Enter Sir Peter.

pleasantry.

Ladies, your Servant mercy upon me! - The

a character dead at every sentence.

Mrs. Cand.

[Aside. ]

They won't allow good qualities to any one not even good nature to our friend Mrs. Pursey.

Crab. What! the old fat dowager that was at Mrs. Quadrille's last night.

Mrs. Cand. Her bulk is her misfortune; and when she takes such pains to get rid of it, you ought not to reflect on her.

L. Sneer. That's very true, indeed.

*) Sie spricht aus der Seite des Mundes.

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often in

L. Teaz. Yes I'm told she absolutely lives upon acids and small whey *), laces' herself with pullies **; the hottest day in Summer, you shall see her on a little squat ***) pony, with her hair platted and turned up like a drummer ****), and away she goes puffing round the ring †) in a full trot.

Sir Pet. Mercy on me! this is her own relation; a person they dine with twice a-week.

[Aside. ]

Mrs. Cand. I vow you shan't be so severè upon the dowager; for let me tell you, great allowances are to be made for a woman who strives to pass for a flirt at six and thirty. L. Sneer. Though surely she's handsome still; and for the weakness in her eyes, considering how much she reads by candle-light, 'tis not to be wondered at.

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Mrs. Cand. Very true; and for her manner, I think it very graceful, considering she never had any education; for her mother, you know, was a Welch ††) milliner, and her father a sugar - baker at Bristol.

Sir Benj. Ay, you are both of ye too good natured. 1 Mrs. Cand. Well, I never will join in the ridicule of a friend; so I tell my cousin Ogle, and you all know what pretensions she has to beauty.

Crab. She has the oddest countenance a collection of

features from all corners of the globe.

Sir Benj. She has indeed an Irish front ttt).

Crab. Caledonian locks tttt).

Sir Benj. Dutch nose †††††).

Whey, der dünne, wässrige Theil der Milch; Molken. **) Man trug damals Schnürleiber, und um sie recht genau an den Leib zu pressen, bediente man sich einer Art kleiner Winden. ***) squat, kurz und dick. ****) Die Englischen Trommelschläger tragen ihr Haar auf eine eigene Weise; es wird nämlich hinten aufgeschlagen und dicht und flach an den Kopf geklebt. Man sehe die Abbildung eines solchen Trommelschlägers in Hogarth's Ausmarsch der Truppen nach Finchley, oder in Ermangelung des Originals die schöne Nachbildung einiger Köpfe dieses Stücks von Riepenhausen, Göttingischen Taschenkalender für 1789 bei Seite 180,

im

f) Sie tummelt, aufser Athem oder keichend ihr Pferd um den Zirkel (ring) in Hyde- Park umher. tt) Aus Wallis. ttt) Irish front, bedeutet oft so viel als unverschämte Mine. tttt) Viele Schottländer haben röthliches Haar. †††††) Vermuthlich eine kleine, dicke Nase.

Crab. Austrian lips *).

Sir Benj. The complexion of a Spaniard **).
Crab. And teeth à la Chinoise ***).

Sir Benj.

In short, her face resembles a table d'hôte at Spa, where no two guests are of a nation.

Crab. Or a Congress at the close of a general war, where every member seems to have a different interest, and the nose and chin are the only parties likely to join issue.

Sir Benj. Ha, ha, ha!

L. Sneer. Ha, ha!

provoking toads ****).

Well, I vow you are a couple of

Mrs. Cand. Well, I vow you shan't carry the laugh so, let me tell you that Mrs. Ogle.

Sir Pet. Madam, madam, 'tis impossible to stop those good gentlemen's tongues; but when I tell you, Mrs. Candour, that the lady they are speaking of is a particular friend of mine, I hope you will be so good as not to undertake her defence.

L. Sneer. Well said, Sir Peter; but you are a cruel creature, too phlegmatic yourself for a wit, and too peevish to allow it to others.

Sir Pet. True wit, madam, is more nearly allied to good nature than you are aware of.

L. Teaz. True, Sir Peter; I believe they are so near akin that they can never be united.

Sir Benj. Or rather, madam, suppose them to be man and wife, one so seldom sees them together.

L. Teaz. But Sir Peter is such an enemy to scandal, I believe he would have it put down by parliament.

Sir Pet. 'Foregad, madam, if they considered the sporting with reputations of as much consequence as poaching on manors †), and passed an act for the preserva

*) Austrian lips, wahrscheinlich aufgeworfene Lippen. **) Gelblich braune Haut, bazané. ***) Schwarze Zähne. ****) Toad. ein allgemeines Scheltwort, das aber nicht denselben Begriff von Tücke und Bösartigkeit hat, der dem gleichbedeutenden Deutschen Worte im niedrigen Leben untergelegt wird. Nichts ist gewöhnlicher, als dafs eine Mutter ihre Kinder you dirty little toads nennt. Oft ist es ein scherzhaftes Scheltwort, wie in unserer Stelle, wo es übersetzt werden kann: ihr seyd doch wahrlich ärgerliche Lästermäuler. (S. Hüttner's Erläuterung der Townleyschen Farce high life below stairs.) 1) Es ist vorzüglich von Wilddieberei die Rede.

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