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certain curious receipt, a noftrum, which, after his untimely death, 1 found among his papers; and do here, out of my great affection to the modern learned, prefent them with it; not doubting, it may one day encourage fome worthy undertaker.

You take fair correct copies, well bound in calffkin, and lettered at the back, of all modern bodies of arts and fciences whatsoever, and in what language you pleafe. Thefe you diftil in balneo Mariæ, infufing quinteffence of poppy q. f. together with three pints of lethe, to be had from the apothecaries. You cleanfe away carefully the fordes and caput mortuum, letting all that is volatile evaporate. You preferve only the first running, which is again to be diftilled feventeen times, till what remains will amount to about two drams. This you keep in a glass vial hermetically fealed, for one and twenty days; then you begin your catholic treatise, taking every morning fasting, first shaking the vial, three drops of this elixir, fnuffing it firongly up your nose. It will dilate itself about the brain (where there is any) in fourteen minutes, and you immediately perceive in your head an infinite number of abstracts, fummaries, compendiums, extracts, collections, medulla's, excerpta quædam's, florilegia's, and the like, all difpofed into great order, and reducible upon paper.

I muft needs own, it was by the affiftance of this arcanum, that I, though otherwise impar, have adventured upon fo daring an attempt; never atchieved or undertaken before, but by a cer

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tain author, called Homer; in whom, though otherwise a perfon not without fome abilities, and, for an ancient, of a tolerable genius, I have difcovered many grofs errors, which are not to be forgiven his very afhes, if by chance any of them are left. For whereas we are affured, he defigned his work for a complete body * of all knowledge, human, divine, political, and mechanic; it is manifeft, he hath wholly neglected fome, and been very imperfect in the reft. For, first of all, as eminent a cabalift as his difciples would reprefent him, his account of the opus magnum is extremely poor and deficient; he feems to have read but very fuperficially, either Sendivogus, Behmen, or Anthropofophia Theomagica +. He is alfo quite mistaken about the sphæra pyroplaftica, a neglect not to be atoned for; and, if the reader will admit fo fevere a cenfure, vix crederem autorem hunc unquam audiviffe ignis vocem. His failings are not lefs prominent in feveral parts of the mechanics. For, having read his writings with the utmost application ufual among modern wits, I could never yet difcover the leaft direction about the ftructure of that useful inftrument, a fave-all. For want of which, if the moderns had

not

* Homerus omnes res humanas poematis complexus eft. Xenoph. in conviv.

A treatife written about fifty years ago, by a Welsh gentleman of Cambridge. His name, as I remember, was Vaughan; as appears by the answer written to it by the learned Dr Henry Moor. It is a piece of the most unintelligible fuftian, that perhaps was ever publifhed in any language.

not lent their affiftance, we might yet have wandered in the dark. But I have still behind a fault, far more notorious to tax this author with; I mean, his grofs ignorance in the common laws of this realm, and in the doctrine, as well as difcipline of the church of England *: A defect indeed, for which both he and all the ancients ftand most juftly cenfured by my worthy and ingenious friend, Mr Wotton, Bachelor of Divinity, in his incomparable treatife of ancient and modern learning; a book never to be fufficiently valued, whether we confider the happy turns and flowings of the author's wit, the great usefulness of his fublime difcoveries upon the subject of flies and Spittle, or the laborious eloquence of his style. And I cannot forbear doing that author the juftice of my public acknowledgements, for the great helps and liftings I had out of his incomparable piece, while I was penning this treatise.

But, befides these omiffions in Homer, already mentioned, the curious reader will alfo obferve feveral defects in that author's writings, for which he is not altogether fo accountable. For whereas every branch of knowledge has received fuch wonderful acquirements fince his age, efpecially within these last three years, or thereabouts; it is almost impoffible, he could be fo very perfect in modern

* Mr. Wotton, (to whom our author never gives any quarter), in his comparison of ancient and modern learning, numbers divinity, law, &c. among thofe parts of knowledge wherein we excel the ancients.

modern difcoveries, as his advocates pretend. We freely acknowledge him to be the inventor of the compass, of gunpowder, and the circulation of the blood. But I challenge any of his admirers, to fhew me in all his writings, a complete account of the spleen. Does he not alfo leave us wholly to feek in the art of political wagering? What can be more defective and unfatisfactory, than his long differtation upon tea? And as to his method of falivation without mercury, fo much celebrated of late, it is, to my own knowledge and experience, a thing very little to be relied on.

It was to fupply fuch momentous defects, that I have been prevailed on, after long folicitation, to take pen in hand; and I dare venture to promife, the judicious reader fhall find nothing neglected here, that can be of ufe upon any emergency of life. I am confident to have included and exhausted all that human imagination can rife or fall to. Particularly, I recommend to the perufal of the learned, certain difcoveries that are wholly untouched by others; whereof I fhall only mention, among a great many more, My new help for fmatterers; or, The art of being deeplearned, and fhallow-read :-A curious invention about moufe-traps :-An univerfal rule of reafon; or, Every man his own carver; together with a moft ufeful engine for catching of owls. All which the judicious reader will find largely treated on in the feveral parts of this difcourfe.

I hold myself obliged to give as much light as is poffible, into the beauties and excellencies of

what

what I am writing, because it is become the fafhion and humour moft applauded among the firft authors of this polite and learned age, when they would correct the ill-nature of critical, or inform the ignorance of courteous readers. Befides, there have been feveral famous pieces lately published, both in verfe and profe; wherein, if the writers had not been pleafed, out of their great humanity and affection to the public, to give us a nice detail of the fublime and the admirable they contain, it is a thoufand to one, whether we should ever have discovered one grain of either. For my own particular, I cannot deny, that whatever I have faid upon this occafion, had been more proper in a preface, and more agreeable to the mode, which usually directs it thither. But I here think fit to lay hold on that great and honourable privilege of being the laft writer; I claim an abfolute authority in right, as the fresheft modern, which gives me a defpotic power over all authors before me. In the ftrength of which title, I do utterly difapprove and declare against that pernicious custom, of making the preface a bill of fare to the book. For I have always looked upon it as a high point of indiscretion in monfier-mongers, and other retailers of ftrange fights, to hang out a fair large picture over the door, drawn after the life, with a moft eloquent defcription underneath. This hath faved me many a three-pence; for my curiofity was fully fatisfied, and I never offered to go in, though

often

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