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' lives upon what I get, without bringing any thing into 'the common ftock. Now, fir, as on the one hand I 'take care not to behave myself towards him like a wafp, fo likewife I would not have him look upon me as an humble bee; for which reason I do all I can to put him upon laying up provifions for a bad day, and 'frequently reprefent to him the fatal effects his floth ' and negligence may bring upon us in our old age. I ' must beg that you will join with me in your good advice upon this occafion, and you will for ever oblige • Your humble servant,
Piccadilly, October 31, 1711.
I AM joined in wedlock for my fins to one of those 'fillies who are described in the old poet with that hard name you gave us the other day. She has a flowing mane, and a skin as foft as filk: but, fir, fhe paffes half her life at her glass, and almoft ruins me in ribbons. For my own part, I am a plain handicraft man, and in danger of breaking by her laziness and expensiveness. Pray, mafter, tell me in your next paper, whether I may not expect of her fo much drudgery as to take care of her family, and to curry her hide in cafe of refusal. • Your loving friend,
Cheapfide, October 30.
I AM mightily pleased with the humour of the cat ; be fo kind as to enlarge upon that fubject.
• Yours till death,
'P. S. You must know I am married to a Grimalkin.'
Wapping, October 31, 1711.
EVER fince your Spectator of Tuesday laft came into our family, my husband is pleafed to call me his • Oceana, because the foolish old poet that you have VOL. III.
⚫ tranflated fays, that the fouls of some women are made ' of fea-water. This, it feems, has encouraged my faucebox to be witty upon me. When I am angry, he cries pr'ythee, my dear, be calm; when Ichide one of my fervants, pr'ythee, child, do not blufter. He had the impudence about an hour ago to tell me, that he was a feafaring man, and muft expect to divide his life between ftorm and funfhine. When I beftir myself with any fpirit in my family, it is high fea in his houfe; and when I fit ftill without doing any thing, his affairs forfooth are wind-bound. When I ask him whether it rains, he makes anfwer, it is no matter, fo that it be fair weather within doors. In short, fir, I cannot speak my mind freely to him, but I either fwell or rage, or 'do fomething that is not fit for a civil woman to hear. Pray, Mr. SPECTATOR, fince you are fo fharp upon < other women, let us know what materials your wife is made of, if you have one. I fuppofe you would make us a parcel of poor-fpirited tame infipid creatures: but, fir, I would have you to know, we have as good paffions in us, as yourfelf, and that a woman was never defigned to be a milk-fop.
Friday, November 2.
Colla jugo, liber, liber fum, dic age--HOR. Sat, 7.1.2.v.92.
--Loofe thy neck from this ignoble chair,
I NEVER look upon my dear_wife, but I think
of the happiness fir ROGER DE COVERLEY enjoys, ⚫ in having fuch a friend as you to expofe in proper colours the cruelty and perverfenefs of his miftrefs. I have very often wished you visited in our family, and were acquainted with my fpoufe; fhe would • afford you for fome months at least matter enough for
'one Spectator a week. Since we are not fo happy as to 'be of your acquaintance, give me leave to reprefent to you our prefent circumstances as well as I can in writing. You are to know then that I am not of a very different 'constitution from Nathaniel Henrooft, whom you have lately recorded in your fpeculations; and have a 'wife who makes a more tyrannical use of the knowledge of my eafy temper than that lady ever pretended to. We had not been a month married, when she 'found in me a certain pain to give offence, and an in'dolence that made me bear little inconveniencies ra'ther than difpute about them. From this obfervation it foon came to that pass, that if I offered to go abroad, she would get between me and the door, kifs me, and fay fhe could not part with me; and then down again I fat. In a day or two after this first pleasant step to'wards confining me, fhe declared to me, that I was all "the world to her, and the thought fhe ought to be all the world to me. If, faid fhe, my dear loves me as much as I love him, he will never be tired of my company. This declaration was followed by my being denied to all my acquaintance; and it very foon came to that pass, that to give an answer at the door before my face, the fervants would ask her whether I was within or not; and she would answer No with great fondness, and tell me I was a good dear. I will not enumerate more little circumftances to give you a livelier fenfe of my condition; but tell you in general, that from fuch fteps as thefe at first, I now live the life of a prifoner of ftate; my letters are opened, and I have not the use of pen, ink, and paper, but in her presence. I never go abroad, except the fometimes 'takes me with her in her coach to take the air, if it may be called fo, when we drive, as we generally do, ' with the glaffes up. I have over-heard my fervants lament my condition, but they dare not bring me meffages without her knowledge, because they doubt my refolution to ftand by them. In the midft of this infipid way of life, an old acquaintance of mine, Tom Meggot, who is a favourite with her, and allowed to vifit me in her company, because he fings prettily, has roufed me to rebel, and conveyed his intelligence to me in the
following manner. My wife is a great pretender to mufic, and very ignorant of it; but far gone in the Italian tafte. Tom goes to Armstrong, the famous fine writer of mufic, and defires him to put this fentence of Tully in the scale of an Italian air, and write it out for my fpoufe from him. "An ille mihi liber cui "mulier imperat? Cui leges imponit, præfcribit, jubet, "vetat, quod videtur? Qui nihil imperanti negare, nihil "recufare audet? Pofcit? dandum eft. Vocat? veni"endum. Ejicit? abeundum. Minitatur ? extimefcen"dum. Does he live like a gentleman who is com"manded by a woman? He to whom the gives law, grants and denies what the pleases? who can neither deny her any thing she asks, or refuse to do any thing "the commands ?"
To be fhort, my wife was extremely pleased with it; faid, the Italian was the only language for mufic; and • admired how wonderfully tender the fentiment was, and how pretty the accent is of that language, with the reft that is faid by rote on that occafion. Mr. Meggot is fent for to fing this air, which he performs with mighty applaufe; and my wife is in ecftacy on the occafion, and glad to find, by my being fo much pleased, that I was at laft come into the notion of the Italian for, said she, it grows upon one when one once comes to know a little of the language: and pray, Mr. Meggot, fing again thofe notes," Nihil imperanti negare, nihil recufare." You may believe I was not a little delighted with my friend Tom's expedient to alarm me, and in obedience to his fummons I give all this story thus at large; and I am refolved, when this appears in the Spectator, to declare for myself. The manner of the infurrection I contrive by your means, which fhall be no other than that Tom Meggot, who is at our tea-table every morning, fhall read it to us; and if my dear can take the bint, and fay not one word, but let this be the beginning of a new life without farther explanation, it is very well; for as foon as the Spectator is read out, I fhall without more ado, call ⚫ for the coach, name the hour when I shall be at home, if I come at all; if I do not, they may go to dinner. If my fpoufe only fwells and fays nothing, Tom and I
go out together, and all is well, as I faid before; but if fhe begins to command or expoftulate, you fhall in my next to you receive a full account of her refiftance and fubmiffion, for fubmit the dear thing must to,
• Your most obedient humble fervant, ANTHONY FREEMAN.
P. S. I hope I need not tell you that I defire this may be in your very next.'
Saturday, November 3.
-Mens fibi confcia reči. VIRG. En. 1. ver. 608. A good intention.
IT is the great art and fecret of Christianity, if I
ufe that phrafe, to manage our actions to the best advantage, and direct them in fuch a manner, that every thing we do may turn to account at that great day, when every thing we have done will be fet before us.
In order to give this confideration its full weight, we may caft all our actions under the divifion of fuch as are in themselves either good, evil, or indifferent. If we divide our intentions after the fame manner, and confider them with regard to our actions, we may difcover that great art and fecret of religion which I have here mentioned.
A good intention joined to a good action, gives it its proper force and efficacy: joined to an evil action, extenuates its malignity, and in fome cafes may take it wholly away; and joined to an indifferent action turns it to a virtue, and makes it meritorious as far as human actions can be fo.
In the next place, to confider in the fame manner the influence of an evil intention upon our actions. An evil intention perverts the best of actions, and makes them in reality, what the fathers with a witty kind of zeal have termed the virtues of the heathen world, fo many fhining