of your jealousy, I have freely tried the hazardous experiment of cutting off the vile excrescence, which you are taking such silly pains to cultivate; but which I have learnt of late to look upon philosophically as an ugly and useless appendage: and really from the ease and comfort I now enjoy, I wonder how I could ever have put up with it so long. Follow then, dear friends, my example, and profit by the experience I can now so happily afford you. And first, Brother Jonathan, from the dear and deep remembrance of our common origin, I appeal to you. How sweetly those eloquent words of yours still linger on my ear! What you will do, I will do: if you will give little, I shall give little; if you will give all, I shall give all.'" "Bless my stars, Albion," replies Jonathan, "I confess that this is more than I calculated on; and to prove to you that I am not to be outdone in generosity, just lend me those scissors." So squatting down, and closely inspecting his brush, with much ado he docks off the ends of the longest hairs, laying them one by one ceremoniously on the floor. 66 There, Albion," he cries, with a piteous whine, as he returns the scissors, "behold the triumph of your principles: and all I hope is that I shall not have to repent following so readily your example.

"Oh, hadst thou, cruel! been content to seize

Hairs less in sight, or any hairs but these!'"

"But, dearest Jonathan," exclaims Albion, colouring up, and wofully disconcerted, "this will

really do you no good at all. It is the tail, the whole tail, and nothing but the tail, that I recommend you to remove." "What!" cries Jonathan,

jumping up, and flaring his vigorous young brush about, "do you imagine, you old crone, with that ugly hump on your back which forbids your stirring, that because you lop off what you fancy is no longer of any use to you, I am to be fool enough to throw away the best chance I have of getting on in the world? how 'go a-head' without my tail? I give up my tail! I would see thee d-'d first."-" Well, Jonathan," replies Albion, submissively, "do as you like; "universal peace" has always been my maxim, ( Oh! Oh!') and I don't wish to quarrel with you."-"I should rather guess not," says Jonathan, between a grin and a growl, as he slopes sulkily towards the doorway." Te voilà bien triste, n'est-ce pas, ma mie," cries Belle France, with apparent interest; then getting rather red. "I think, Albion, considering I am at the head of civilization, you might have consulted me the first about our tails: perhaps you presume too much on my friendly feeling for you. I regret, however, that at present I cannot follow your philosophical example; for having only lately lost the comfortable chair I lounged in so long, I find this stool so hard, and its three legs so rickety, that I should never keep my balance a moment, if I parted with my tail. Besides, haven't you invited me to visit you this summer, and how could I show my face in Regent Street without my tail,

now that you have done away with the Navigation Laws, and are patronizing nothing but "foreign bottoms?"—"C'est juste," remarks Petite Belge, raising her head from Albion's lap.-" Who asked your opinion, Miss Impudence," mutters Albion, "take care I don't box your ears for you;" then giving her a sly pinch, she bade her hold her tongue, or be off." How exceedingly vulgar Belle France is become of late!" exclaims Reynardoff, sidling up to Albion with his most rusé smile, "how changed from what we remember her fiveand-thirty years ago, when our mornings, dear Albion, were passed arm in arm on the Boulevards! and then, those evenings! I, and my two friends from the North, aux Trois Frères, while you were presiding au Rocher! Ah! those were times indeed, never to return! Really, you and I seem the only decent creatures remaining." "Yes,

Reynardoff-but-the tail?"—"Oh! I forgot: you are fully aware, dear Albion, of my sincere regard for you, and of my anxiety to please you; every joint of my tail is at your disposal, and in short it wags only for you: but then, my dear creature, if you only knew the quantity of train oil I have rubbed into this scraggy concern of mine, and what a vile climate I live in (shivering as he wrapped his tail round him) you would feel that, even for the sake of its little warmth, I find it, such as it is, a great comfort. However, as I am dying to serve you, I will just talk the matter over quietly with that noisy blackguard, Jonathan, and

6

see if I can in any way go hand-in-hand with him in adopting your views." Then lifting up Albion's tail from the floor, he sighed in admiration as he brushed it through his whiskers; and pressing it warmly to his heart, as he retired with it, he made Albion such a bow, that Satan, had he seen him, would have sworn he was sincere.-"And now, Frau Zollverein," cries the delighted Albion, "I know your progress in liberality of sentiment too well to imagine I shall have any difficulty in persuading you."" Then indeed you are doomed to be disappointed, Albion,” she replies good humouredly" look at me now, and tell me candidly if such a carcase as this is easily to be shaken?' And, in truth, I am such an oddly constituted body, that the coherence of my principal members depends mainly on the adhesiveness of my tail. Lop off that, and my whole frame hastens at once to dissolution: my fore-parts would fly off to Saxony and Prussia; my hind-quarters to Hungary and Bavaria; and my trunk would in all probability roll into the Rhine. Self-preservation, therefore, dear Cousin, imperatively enjoins me to decline following your "What are you grinning at there, la Flamande?" cries Belle France to Petite Belge, who stood giggling out of the casement." Why I declare, Albion, while you have been trying to talk over Frau Zollverein, if those two rogues, Reynardoff and Jonathan, haven't been cutting your tail in two, with the Old Man's scythe who was mowing the grass there; and, just look,

each is busy tying on half to his own tail, with the cotton twist you let fall out of your work bag." Upon this, there was a general rush to the window; and true enough, there was that precious pair, prancing and capering about, playing all sorts of whimsical antics, and, with their lengthened brushes, sweeping the whole lawn between them. "Well done, Reynardoff," screamed sprightly Hellas.-" Bravo! Jonathan," sighed grave Mantilla." Serves her right!" sobbed Tarantella, with such roars of laughter from Belle France and Frau Zollverein, and such a general titter among all the little folks, followed by one universal shout of "à bas la Perfide!-Vivent les Queues!" that poor Albion, with not a friend, was glad to slink away unperceived; leaving no trace of her former influence, but the name

Upon my word, Sir, a very lively illustration. Not quite, perhaps, the invention of Boccacio or Lafontaine; still, in these days, you might have done much worse. Its vivacity reminds me of a writer, whose name I have never yet been able to discover. But are you really apprehensive that Russia and America will prove such dangerous rivals ?