OSCITATIONUM PROPAGATIO

Solvi poteft Mechanice.

M

OMUS, scurra, procax superùm, quo tempore

Pallas

Exiluit cerebro Jovis, eft pro more jocatus Nescio quid ftultum de partu : excanduit irâ Jupiter, asper, acerba tuens; “ et tu quoque, dixit, “ Garrule, concipies, fætumq; ex ore profundes:” 5 Haud mora, jamque supinus in aulâ extenditur ingens Derisor; dubiâ velantur lumina nocte; Stertit hians immane;---e naso Gallica clangunt Classica, Germaniq; fimul fermonis amaror:

Edita vix tandem eft monstrum Polychasmia, proles 10 Tanto digna parente, aviæq; fimillima Nocti.

3

Ille

A

MECHANICAL SOLUTION

OF THE

PROPAGATION of YAWNING.

Translated by the same Hand.

W

5

HEN Pallas issued from the brain of Jove,
Momus, the Mimic of the Gods above,

In his mock mood impertinently spoke,
About the birth, some low, ridiculous joke :
Jove, sternly frowning, glow'd with vengeful ire,
And thus indignant said th' Almighty Sire,
“ Loquacious Slave, that laugh'st without a cause,
« Thou shalt conceive, and bring forth at thy jaws.”
He spoke---stretch'd in the hall the Mimic lies,
Supinely dull, thick

vapours
dim his

eyes :
And as his jaws a horrid chasm disclose,
It seem'd he made a trumpet of his nose;
Tho' harsh the strain, and horrible to hear,
Like German jargon grating on the ear.

At length was Polychafmia brought to light, 15 Worthy her fire, a monster of a fight, Refembling her great grandmother, Old Night.

Illa oculos tentat nequicquam aperire, veterno
Torpida, & horrendo vultum distorta cachinno.
Æmulus hanc Jovis afpiciens, qui fictile vulgus
Fecerat infelix, imitarier arte Prometheus

15
Audet---nec flammis opus

eft cæleftibus: auræ
Tres Stygiæ flatus, nigræ tria pocula Lethes
Miscet, & innuptæ fuspiria longa puellæ,
His adipem fuis & guttur conjungit aselli,
Tensaque cum gemitu somnifque fequacibus ora.
Sic etiam in terris Dea, quæ mortalibus ægris
Ferret opem, inque hebetes dominarier apta, creata eft.

20

1

Nonne vides, ut præcipiti petit oppida cursu
Rustica plebs, ftipatque forum ? sublime tribunal
Armigerique equitesque premunt, de more parati 25
Justitiæ lances proferre fideliter æquas,
Grande capillitium induti, frontemque minacem.
Non temerè attoniti caupones, turbaque furum
Aufugiunt, gravidæque timent trucia ora puellæ.
At mox fida comes Polychasmia, matutinis
Quæ se miscuerat poc'lis Cerealibus, ipsum
Judicis in cerebrum scandit---jamque unus & alter
Cæperunt longas in hiatum ducere voces :
Donec per cunctos Dea jam solenne, profundum
Sparserit Hum----nutant taciti, tum brachia magno 35
Extendunt nisu, patulis & faucibus hiscunt.

30

Intereà

20

Her eyes to open oft in vain she try’d,
Lock'd were the lids, her mouth distended wide.
Her when Prometheus happen'd to survey
(Rival of Jove, that made mankind of clay)
He form’d without the aid of heav'nly ray.
To three Lethæan cups he learnt to mix
Deep sighs of virgins, with three blasts from Styx,
The bray of asses, with the fat of brawn,
The sleep-preceding groan, and hideous yawn.
Thus Polychasmia took her wondrous birth,
A Goddess helpful to the sons of earth.

25

Lo! how the rustic multitude from far
Haste to the town, and crowd the clam'rous bar.

30
The prest bench groans with many a squire and knight,
Who weigh out justice, and distribute right:
Severe they seem, and formidably big,
With front important, and huge periwig.
The little villains skulk aloof dismay'd,

35 And panic terrors seize the pregnant maid. But soon friend Polychasm', who always near, Herself had mingled with their morning beer, Steals to the judges brain, and centers there. Then in the court the horrid yawn began, And Hum, profound and solemn, went from man to man: Silent they nod, and with prodigious strain Stretch out their arms, then liftless yawn again : Z 2

For

40

Intereà legum Caupones jurgia miscent,
Queis nil Rhetorice est, nisi copia major hiandi :
Vocibus ambiguis certant, nugasque strophafque
Alternis jaculantur, & irafcuntur amicè,
Donantque accipiuntque ftuporis missile plumbum.

40

Vos, Fanatica turba, nequit pia musa tacere. Majoremne aliunde potest diducere rictum ? Ascendit gravis Orator, miserâque loquelâ Expromit thefin; in partes quam deinde minutas Diftrahit, ut connectat, & explicat obscurando : Spargitur heu! pigris verborum fomnus ab alis, Grex circùm gemit, & plausum declarat hiando.

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50

Nec vos, qui falsò matrem jactatis Hygeian Patremque Hippocratem, taceam---Polychasmia, vestros Agnosco natos : tumidas fine pondere voces In vulgum eructant; emuncto quisque bacillum Applicat auratum naso, graviterque facetus Totum se in vultum cogit, medicamina pandens--Rusticus haurit amara, atque infanabile dormit; 55

Nec