Hopeless his haughty Queen retir'd,
For zeal each patriot bosom fir'd,
And courtly arts were vain.

Thus on Columbia's happy fhore,
When Britons, in a frantic hour,
Spread war's infernal flame,

Brave Washington her champion ftood,
And bore, e'en from the field of blood,
A wreath of civic fame.

So, Gallia, may thy legions prove
The force of Freedom's generous love,

Beyond a Defpot's hire, ̈

Tho' Tyrants quit their tott'ring thrones,
And, join'd with thy ignobler fons
In guilty leagues confpire.

Kind flumbers feal the warrior's eyes,
Who in a virtuous conflict dies,
While fame infcribes his urn,
And calls thro' many a distant age,
The afpiring youth, and hoary fage,
The hero's deeds to learn.

But tho' the abject, coward foul
Stoop to oppreffion's fell controul,

From death no arts can fave;

He

I LEARN, from the advertisements in the papers, that the public are again to be amused by the most impartial and wonderful pieces of Biography, in which the author and his fubject are to be one flesh. I cannot help thinking, Sir, that this is a better plan than fome grave cri tics are difpofed to allow. When a man writes his own life, he has thefe advantages: he, I may fuppose, has fome tolerable acquaintance with his fubject, a thing which has been formerly thought neceffary in writing; and, Sir, he will prevent an improper use of his remains; fuch a use, for inftance, as has been made of my old friend Dr. Johnson, who, like a whale cast upon one of our coafts, is firft fhewn to the public at a fhilling a head, and then the blubber is fold for what it will fetch. But not to expatiate on the various ufes of felf-life-writing, I am to inform you, that for fundry weighty reafons I am determined to write my own life,

and

and I fend you this letter, that you may, by inferting it, announce to the public what they are to expect.

My plan was to be in one refpect different from the common; the common practice is to fay every thing that is good of one's felf-now, I meant to fay nothing but what is bad, very bad indeed; and I had no fooner formed this refolution, than I fat down to my labours; but judge my furprife, when, on reviewing my pat life, I could not discover any one thing that was worth committing to paper; not an action that would even form a cafualty-paragraph in a country newspaper. What was to be done in fuch a dilemma? I looked for precedents, and found what I wanted.-I found, Oh! glorious discovery! that when a man writes his own life, he is to put as little of his own life into it as poffible, and is to cram his pages with every thing elfe that old magazines, old newfpapers, old fongs, and Old Bailey trials, can furnish him with. Spirit of modern biography! I thank thee.

The Memoirs therefore of "ME, written by MYSELF," fhall embrace fuch a fund, fuch a bundle, fuch a heap, fuch a cartload of variegated variety, as no work of the kind ever contained. Contemporaries, tremble! for ye fall add to my flore. Private friends, beware! for I will drag you from your obfcurity. Pope Pius and Tip. K

VOL. IV.

poo

poo Saib, come forth! for ye must add to my life. Old Kate of the North, even you must swell my fheets.

I propofe, after giving a decent account of my pa rents, (if I can recollect them, to pass to the school in which I was educated, and give a biography of all my fellow scholars, from the earliest accounts to the present time. This cannot fail to fill up at least one volume. Some I fhall place in reputable fhops, whence they rofe to high city honours, and died fuddenly after eating a hearty dinner; fome I fhall raife to be fecretaries to great men, and state all the tricks they played "under the "rofe;" fome I fhall fend to foreign parts, to acquire riches, honour, liver-complaints, and the curfes of their country; fome are to pass into the church, and without as much religion as will lie in the corner of their eye, fhall rife to great preferment; fome will be drowned in an evil hour; fome fall from their horfes, and a few will no doubt be hanged..

Coming into public life, my travels will form a very interesting article-Topographical anecdotes of innsdiftant views of larders-differtations on damp fheets -handfome chambermaids and broken-knee'd horfes -furprifing accounts of stage-coachmen -footpads-justices of peace and turnpike-collectors.-All thefe will give an importance to my life. The critics will fay, "Blefs me, what a deal he has met with." "Ay," cry the ladies, "and how he could go through

❝ it

it all;"-yet, Lord help 'em, I am, like my brother biographers, no more than the pack-thread which ties thefe articles together.

If I am at a ftand-ftill for " nonnunquam bonus dor“mitat,” &c. I will pop into a certain great Affembly, and do the speakers all round. Here I fhall have an opportunity for the blazing brilliance of defcriptive decoration. But my great object must be the taverns—I fhall give an account of every dinner I eat-what it confifted of whether under or overdone-and the converfation that paffed.-Genius of Boswell, I adore thee! -But here I am tempted to copy a leaf of life

4

my

"April 1. Dined at the Shakespeare, A. The wine is good.' C. Fill your glaffes.' B. Yes, Sir. D. They are all filled.' E. Your toast, Sir."

fingle married, and the married happy.'

.

F. 'The

G. That is
Gentlemen,

an excellent toaft.' H. So it is.' I. have you all drank it?' K. All on my fide.' L, • And mine.'

Converfation like this gives one a good idea of the characters of the party, but I fall affist the reader by a few biographical notices of each. Tom and Dick, and Jack and Bill, fhall not be forgot-they shall all contribute to my life.