THE MISS-LED GENERAL. CHAPTER I. We sing the Man-(read it who list) Virgil Trav. WE, who have so prettily paid our respects to the Rising Sun,-the most magnanimous Squire that ever was designed to be Lord of a Manor; -we, who have gained to ourselves so much popular applause, and to our bookseller so much profit, by our moral biography; -we cannot dismiss the subject without screwing up our feeble efforts to the pitch of handing down to posterity the achievements, as well in the fields of Venus as of Mars, of one of the fleetest generals of his age, whether in retreating from his enemies, or flying to his mistresses. Although none can with justice deny to our general, Frederic Gildrig, the courage of ACHILLES, yet how very dissimilar have been their fates! Homer's hero lost his life through one of his heels*; and ours has always been indebted to both his heels for his safety. We would not be thought to insinuate that— "cor illi in genua concidebat—” his heart lay in his heels. No-the house of Gildrig have been always noted for their bravery, and for their obstinacy. Our hero is sufficiently tinctured with the latter as well as the former; but he has had more examples than the rest of his family, of the folly of kicking against the pricks. Great were his errors, and rude-very rude were the checks; but every thing is fair in war. His head has often carried him into scrapes, whence it could not extricate him; * One of his heels.]-Achilles, when an infant, was dipped by his mother Thetis, in the river Styx, to render him invulnerable. He became so in every part save the heel by which his mother held him, and in which he was mortally wounded by an arrow from the bow of Paris. which proves that if his heart do not lie in his heels, his wit holds her judgment-seat there. Amidst such a dearth of that article, it is well to have it any where. But envy ever, and disappointment often, run at the heels of merit, like snarling curs, eager for a snap at them; and there have been persons ill-natured enough to term our hero's fine retreats-flights! Flights by all the devils in hell or on earth, or in the sky, and may they fly away with them for their malice! That poet knew his business, who said that "Some, by a wise retreat, have more renown Than other captains, by a conquest, won.” It is true, we cannot applaud his sagacity in avoiding the necessity of his so-famed retreats; but we must allow that he has proved his courage by running into hostile countries helterskelter, ding dong, right or wrong, butting like an enraged bull with his head; and has shewn his skill in retreating by turning round, scampering off, devil take the hindmost, and keeping the foe trotting after his heels like running footEven when his head had entangled him beyond the power of his heels to extricate him, men. he shewed himself a dead hand at an armistice, and buying himself off at the expence of some thousands of prisoners taken by more experienced commanders. But whether our hero ever entertained the idea before, or not, we will take the liberty of telling him, that thinking persons are convinced that a head, a tolerably well-brained one, is a very necessary appendage to the etcætera of a general, almost as necessary as to us romance-writers. A head is necessary to guide the arm which is to strike. Lee the poet, who was as mad as his own Alexander, or as our Alexander, confirms this fact: "How great's the care, the toil, the ling'ring pain, That racks a general's breast, and breaks his brain.” Now, we doubt not our readers will have sense enough to know that where there is brain, there must be a head, although there may be a head without brain. It is allowed by those who have a head with brain in it, that the military profession is one which requires some previous study and experience to qualify a man for the arduous task of a leader: "For, art "And conduct are of war the better part, |