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Satyr upon the departed Persons; who Greek or Hebrew, and by that means are had left no other Memorial of them, but not understood once in a Twelve-month. that they were born and that they died. In the Poetical Quarter, I found there They put me in mind of several Persons were Poets who had no Monuments, and mentioned in the Battels of Heroic Poems, Monuments which had no Poets. I obwho have sounding Names given them, served indeed that the present War had for no other Reason but that they may be filled the Church with many of these unkilled, and are celebrated for nothing but inhabited Monuments, which had been being knocked on the head.
erected to the Memory of Persons whose Γλαυκόν τε Μέδοντά τε Θερσίλοχόν τε.1
Bodies were perhaps buried in the Plains
of Blenheim, or in the Bosom of the -HOMER.
Ocean. Glaucumque, Medontaque, Thersilochumque.
I could not but be very much delighted
with several modern Epitaphs, which are The Life of these Men is finely described
written with great Elegance of Expresin Holy Writ by the Path of an Arrow,
sion and Justness of Thought, and therewhich is immediately closed up and lost.
fore do Honor to the Living as well as Upon my going into the Church, I en
to the Dead. As a Foreigner is very apt tertained my self with the digging of a to conceive an Idea of the Ignorance or Grave; and saw in every Shovel-full of it
Politeness of a Nation from the Turn of that was thrown up, the Fragment of a
their public Monuments and InscripBone or Skull intermixt with a kind of
tions, they should be submitted to the fresh mouldering Earth that some time
Perusal of Men of Learning and Genius or other had a place in the Composition before they are put in Execution. Sir of an human Body. Upon this, I began Cloudesley Shovel's Monument has very to consider with my self what innumer
often given me great Offence: Instead able Multitudes of People lay confused
of the brave rough English Admiral, together under the Pavement of that an
which was the distinguishing Character cient Cathedral; how Men and Women, of that plain gallant Man, he is repreFriends and Enemies, Priests and Sol
sented on his Tomb by the Figure of a diers, Monks and Prebendaries, were
Beau, dressed in a long Perriwig, and crumbled amongst one another, and
reposing himself upon Velvet Cushions blended together in the same common under a Canopy of State. The InscripMass; how Beauty, Strength, and Youth,
tion is answerable to the Monument; for with Old-age, Weakness, and Deformity, instead of celebrating the many remarklay undistinguished in the same promiscu-able Actions he had performed in the Serous Heap of Matter.
vice of his Country, it acquaints us only After having thus surveyed this great with the Manner of his Death, in which Magazine of Mortality, as it were, in it was impossible for him to reap any the Lump, I examined it more particu
Honor. The Dutch, whom we are apt larly by the Accounts which I found on
to despise for want of Genius, shew an several of the Monuments which are
infinitely greater Taste of Antiquity and raised in every Quarter of that ancient
Politeness in their Buildings and Works Fabrick. Some of them were covered
of this Nature, than what we meet with with such extravagant Epitaphs, that, if in those of our own Country. The it were possible for the dead Person to
Monuments of their Admirals, which be acquainted with them, he would blush
have been erected at the public Expense, at the Praises which his Friends have be
represent them like themselves; and are stowed upon him. There are others so
adorned with rostral Crowns and naval excessively modest, that they deliver the
Ornaments, with beautiful Festoons of Character of the Person departed in
Sea-weed, Shells, and Coral. 1“Glaucus and Medon and Thersilochus.”
return to our Subject. I have left the Repository of our English out; when I meet with the Grief of Kings for the Contemplation of another Parents upon a Tomb-stone, my Heart Day, when I shall find my Mind dis- melts with Compassion; when I see the posed for so serious an Amusement. I Tomb of the Parents themselves, I conknow that Entertainments of this nature sider the Vanity of grieving for those are apt to raise dark and dismal Thoughts whom we must quickly follow: When in timorous Minds, and gloomy Imagina- I see Kings lying by those who deposed tions; but for my own part, though I am them, when I consider rival Wits placed always serious, I do not know what it is Side by Side, or the holy Men that dito be melancholy; and can therefore take vided the World with their Contests and a View of Nature in her deep and solemn Disputes, I reflect with Sorrow and AsScenes, with the same Pleasure as in her tonishment on the little Competitions, most gay and delightful ones. By this Factions, and Debates of Mankind. means I can improve my self with those When I read the several Dates of the Objects, which others consider with Ter- Tombs, of some that died Yesterday, and ror. When I look upon the Tombs of some six hundred Years ago, I consider the Great, every Emotion of Envy dies that great Day when we shall all of us be in me; when I read the Epitaphs of the Contemporaries, and make our AppearBeautiful, every inordinate Desire goes ance together.
ON LONDON CRIES
JOSEPH ADDISON Linguæ centum sunt, oraque centum, many Millions of Money without burFerrea vox. 1—VIRGIL.
dening the Subject, but I cannot get the
Parliament to listen to me, who look THERE is nothing which more aston- upon me, forsooth, as a Projector; so that ishes a Foreigner, and frights a Country
despairing to enrich either my self or my Squire, than the Cries of London. My Country by this Publick-spiritedness, I good Friend Sir Roger often declares, would make some Proposals to you relatthat he cannot get them out of his Head,
ing to a Design which I have very much or go to sleep for them the first Week
at Heart, and which may procure me an that he is in Town. On the contrary, handsome Subsistance, if you will be Will Honeycomb calls them the Ramage
pleased to recommend it to the Cities of de la Ville, and prefers them to the London and Westminster. Sounds of Larks and Nightingales, with The Post I would aim at is to be all the Musick of the Fields and Woods.
Comptroller general of the London I have lately received a Letter from some
Cries, which are at present under no very odd Fellow upon this Subject, which
manner of Rules or Discipline. I think I shall leave with my Reader, without I am pretty well qualified for this Place, saying any thing further of it.
as being a Man of very strong Lungs, of
great Insight into all the Branches of our SIR,
British Trades and Manufactures, and I am a Man out of all Business, and of a competent Skill in Musick. would willingly turn my Head to any The Cries of London may be divided thing for an honest Livelihood. I have into Vocal and Instrumental. As for invented several Projects for raising the latter, they are at present under a
very great Disorder.
A Freeman of 1“There are a hundred tongues, a hun
London has the Privilege of disturbing a dred mouths, and a voice of iron.”
whole Street for an Hour together, with 2«Warblings of the town.”
the Twancking of a brass Kettle or a
Frying-pan. The Watch-man's Thump Day,, in hopes of being bought off after at Midnight startles us in our Beds, as the same manner. much as the breaking in of a Thief. The It is another great Imperfection in our Sow-gelder's Horn has indeed something London Cries, that there is no just Time musical in it, but this is seldom heard nor Measure observed in them. Our within the Liberties. I would there- News should indeed be published in a fore propose, that no Instrument of this very quick Time, because it is a ComNature should be made use of, which I modity that will not keep cold. It have not tuned and licensed, after having should not however be cried with the carefully examined in what manner it same Precipitation as Fire: Yet this is may affect the Ears of her Majesty's liege generally the Case: A bloody battel Subjects.
alarms the Town from one End to anVocal Cries are of a much larger Ex- other in an Instant. Every Motion of tent, and indeed so full of Incongruities the French is published in so great an and Barbarisms, that we appear a dis- Hurry, that one would think the Enemy tracted City to Foreigners, who do not were at our Gates. This likewise I comprehend the Meaning of such enor- would take upon me to regulate in such mous Outcries. Milk is generally sold a manner, that there should be some Disin a Note above Elah,' and in Sounds so tinction made between the spreading of exceeding Shrill, that it often sets our a Victory, a March, or an Incampment, Teeth on edge. The Chimney-sweeper a Dutch, a Portugal, or a Spanish Mail. is confined to no certain Pitch; he some- Nor must I omit under this Head, those times utters himself in the deepest Base, excessive Alarms with which several and sometimes in the sharpest Treble; boisterous Rusticks infest our Streets in sometimes in the highest, and sometimes | Turnip Season; and which are more inin the lowest Note of the Gamut. The excusable, because these are Wares which same Observation might be made on the are in no Danger of Cooling upon their Retailers of Small-coal, not to mention Hands. broken Glasses or Brick-dust. In these, There are others who affect a very slow therefore, and the like Cases, it should be Time, and are in my Opinion much my Care to sweeten and mellow the more tuneable than the former; the Voices of these itinerant Tradesmen, be- Cooper in particular swells his last note fore they make their Appearance in our in hollow Voice that is not Streets; as also to accommodate their without its Harmony;
I Cries to their respective Wares; and to forbear being inspired with a most take Care in particular that those may agreeable Melancholy, when I hear that not make the most Noise, who have the sad and solemn Air with which the Publeast to sell, which is very observable in lick is very often asked, if they have any the Venders of Card-matches, to whom I Chairs to mend. Your own Memory cannot but apply that old Proverb of
may_suggest to you many other lamenta'Much Cry but little Wool.'
ble Ditties of the same Nature, in which Some of these last-mentioned Musi- the Musick is wonderfully languishing cians are so very loud in the Sale of these and melodious. trilling Manufactures, that an honest I am always pleased with that particusplenetick Gentleman of my Acquaint- jar Time of the Year which is proper ance bargained with one of them never for the pickling of Dill and Cucumbers; to come into the Street where he lived: but alas this Cry, like the Song of the But what was the Effect of this Con- Nightingales, is not heard above two tract? why, the whole Tribe of Card- months. It would therefore be worth match-makers which frequent that Quar- while to consider whether the same Air ter, passed by his Door the very next might not in some cases be adapted to Ela, the highest note in the gamut.
It might likewise deserve our most and Scissars. Nay, so strangely infatuserious Consideration, how far, in a well- ated are some very eminent Artists of regulated City, those Humorists are to this particular Grace in a Cry, that none be tolerated, who not contented with the but their Acquaintance are able to guess traditional Cries of their Fore-fathers, at their Profession; for who else have invented particular Songs and know, that
that "Work if I I had Tunes of their own: Such as was, not it,” should be the Signification of a Cornmany Years since, the Pastry-man, cora- Cutter? monly known by the Name of the Colly- Forasmuch therefore as Persons of this Molly-Puff; and such as is at this Day Rank are seldom Men of Genius or Cathe Vender of Powder and Washballs, pacity, I think it would be very proper who, if I am rightly informed, goes un- that some Man of good Sense and sound der the Name of Powder-Watt.
judgment should preside over these pubI must not here omit one particular lick Cries, who should permit none to lift Absurdity which runs thro' this whole up their Voices in our Streets, that have vociferous Generation, and which renders not tuneable Throats, and are not only their Cries very often not only incom- able to overcome the Noise of the Croud, modious, but altogether useless to the and the rattling of Coaches, but also to Publick. I mean that idle Accomplish- vend their respective Merchandizes in ment which they all of them aim at, of apt Phrases, and in the most distinct and Crying so as not to be understood. agreeable Sounds. I do therefore humWhether or no they have learned this bly recommend my self as a Person from several of our affected Singers, I will rightly qualified for this post, and if I not take upon me to say; but most cer- meet with fitting Encouragement, shall tain it is, that people know the Wares communicate some other Projects which they deal in rather by their Tunes than I have by me, that may no less conduce by their Words; insomuch that I have to the Emolument of the Publick. sometimes seen a Country Boy run out to buy Apples of a Bellows-mender, and
Sir, &c. Ginger-bread from a Grinder of Knives
Doctor Johnson (1709-1784), the great lexicographer and the dominating personal influence of his time, was a study in paradoxes: autocratic and overbearing in manner, he was the kindest and gentlest of men; full of strong national prejudices and antipathies, he was, nevertheless, broadly sympathetic and attracted a host of friends. His style, overweighted with Latinisms and balanced constructions, was so pronounced that it has since given his name to the type. His humor was ponderous and never gay, but his language was constantly enlivened by splendid imagery. “The Garret" (1751) is Number 117 of The Rambler, a semi-weekly periodical issued by Johnson 1750-1752. "Όσσαν επ’ Ούλύμπω μέμασαν θέμεν αυτάρ
TO THE RAMBLER επ' Όσση Πήλιον εινοσίφυλλον, ίν ουρανός
Sir: αυβατός είη:
Nothing has more retarded the ad
vancement of learning than the disposiThe gods they challenge, and affect the skies: Heav'd on Olympus tott'ring Ossa stood;
tion of vulgar minds to ridicule and On Ossa, Pelion nods with all his wood. vilify what they cannot comprehend. All
-Pope. industry must be excited by hope; and as
the student often proposes no other re- Or why did the goddess, when the prize ward to himself than praise, he is easily of beauty was contested, try the cause discouraged by contempt and insult. He upon the top of Ida? Such were the ficwho brings with him into a clamorous tions by which the great masters of the multitude the timidity of recluse specu- earlier ages endeavored to inculcate to lation, and has never hardened his front posterity the importance of a garret, in public life, or accustomed his passions which, though they had been long obto the vicissitudes and accidents, the tri- scured by the negligence and ignorance of umphs and defeats of mixed conversa- succeeding times, were well enforced by the tion, will blush at the stare of petulant celebrated symbol of Pythagoras, áveuwv incredulity, and suffer himself to be πνεόντων την ηχώ προσκύνει;-when the driven by a burst of laughter from the wind blows, worship its echo.' This could fortresses of demonstration. The me- not but be understood by his disciples as chanist will be afraid to assert, before an inviolable injunction to live in a garhardy contradiction, the possibility of iet, which I have found frequently visited tearing down bulwarks with a silkworm's by the echo of the wind. Nor was the trathread; and the astronomer of relating dition wholly obliterated in the age of the rapidity of light, the distance of the Augustus, for Tibullus evidently congratfixed stars, and the height of the lunar ulates himself upon his garret, not withmountains.
out some allusion to the Pythagorean If I could by any efforts have shaken
precept: off this cowardice, I had not sheltered myself under a borrowed name, nor ap
Quam juvat immites ventos audire cubanplied to you for the means of communi
temcating to the public the theory of a gar
Aut, gelidas hybernus aquas cum fuderit
auster, ret; a subject which, except some slight Securum somnos, imbre juvante, sequi! and transient strictures, has been hitherto neglected by those who were best quali
How sweet in sleep to pass the careless hours,
Lulld by the beating winds and dashing fied to adorn it, either for want of leisure show'rs! to prosecute the various researches in which a nice discussion must engage
And it is impossible not to discover the them, or because it requires such diver
fondness of Lucretius, an earlier writer, sity of knowledge, and such extent of for a garret, in his description of the lofty curiosity, as is scarcely to be found in towers of serene learning, and of the any single intellect: or perhaps others pleasure with which a wise man looks foresaw the tumults which would be down upon the confused and erratic state raised against them, and confined their of the world moving below him: knowledge to their own breasts, and
Sed nil dulcius est, bene quam munita tenere abandoned prejudice and folly to the di
Edita doctrina sapientum templa serena; rection of chance.
Despicere unde queas alios, passimque videre That the professors of literature gen- Errare, atque viam palantis quærere vitæ. erally reside in the highest stories, has
_'Tis sweet thy lab'ring steps to guide been immemorially observed. The wis
To virtue's heights, with wisdom well supdom of the ancients was well acquainted plied, with the intellectual advantages of an And all the magazines of learning fortified: elevated situation: why else were the
From thence to look below on human kind,
Bewilder'd in the maze of life, and blind. Muses stationed on Olympus or Parnas
-DRYDEN. sus by those who could with equal right have raised them bowers in the vale of The institution has, indeed, continued Tempe, or erected their altars among to our own time; the garret is still the the flexures of Meander? Why was usual receptacle of the philosopher and Jove himself nursed upon a mountain ? poet, but this, like many ancient cus