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On his return to Edinburgh, we find the indefatigable mind of the Ensign earnestly engaged in laying the plan and preparing the materials for a weekly paper, upon the model of the Tatler, the Spectator, and the Saleroom. His views in regard to this publication were never fully realised; but we have open before us, a drawer which contains a vast accumulation of notes and esquisses connected with it. We insert a few of the shortest in the mean time, and may perhaps quote a few dozens of them hereafter.

I.

THERE is nothing in this world more likely to produce a good understanding in families and neighbourhoods, than a resolution to be immediately entered into by all the several members of the same, never again, from this time forward, upon any occasion or pretence whatever, in speech or writing, to use the monosyllable 1. This will no doubt cause some trouble and inconvenience at first, especially to those who are not half so intimate with any other pronoun; but by the help of a small penalty, to be strictly levied upon every transgression, that will soon be got over, and this most wicked and pernicious monosyllable effectually banished from the world. The Golden Age will then re-descend on earth, and many other things will happen, of the particulars of which the curious reader may satisfy himself, by referring to Virgil's Eclogue. Among the most interesting circumstances of this great revolution, which, however, is not specified in the place referred to, will be the total abolition of both metallic and paper currency. Money will be no more. Those that have will give to those that want; and the redundant population will not, on having the matter properly explained to them, object to removing themselves by some convenient and gentle method of suicide, rendering war, famine, pestilence, and misery (so politely called by Mr Malthus by the somewhat endearing term, checks), utterly unnecessary. Who would not wish to accelerate to mankind the approach of this blessed era? The simple and sure means are above stated; and if the world does not forthwith proceed to make itself happy, it can no longer

shelter itself under the pretence of not knowing how to set about it.

II.

Or all the natural sciences, that of Scandal has been the most universally cultivated in every civilized country, and the most successfully in our own. Modern scandalographers have comprised it under two great divisions, open or direct scandal, and implied or indirect scandal.

Instances of the first are now less common in society than formerly. This perhaps arises more from an artificial refinement in our manners, than from any real refinement in our minds. There still exist many who would not hesitate, under favourable circumstances, to make use of the direct scandal; and there are many more who would not be ashamed to listen to it. But in all circles, whether public or private, there are, for the most part, three or four men and women, who are as different from the surrounding mass of starched neckcloths and satin slips, " as red wine is from Rhenish." These humane and gentle beings check the growth of direct scandal, which, notwithstanding the fostering care of its vulgar disciples, is generally no sooner blown than blasted." Being prevented from lifting its malignant head into the liberal air, it strikes downwards, and, spreading its obscure ramifications under ground, gives rise to the indirect or implied scandal.

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This is the more dangerous kind, in as far as it is more difficult to eradicate or guard against it. In polished society, where it most frequently occurs, it has neither a local habitation nor a name. It is "an airy tongue, that syllables men's names," without pronouncing them distinctly; and the labour of the metaphysical chemist has been unequal to the discovery of any sure test for its detection. It is also, on that account, more fondly cherished by the disciples of the science, because the practical gratification arising from it is in consequence so much the greater. Thus a scandalous assertion, if made directly, cannot be frequently repeated, because the mode of its expression admits of little variety; whereas your implied scandal is capable of being varied almost infinitely,

and thus affords a pleasant and continued opportunity of shewing off to advantage the ingenuity of the malicious man, without vexing the dull ear of the drowsy one. Under the name of personal talk, it may be regarded as constituting the essence of conversation in society at the present period.

III.

THERE are few subjects on which men differ so much as in regard to Blue Stockings. I believe that the majority of literary men look upon them as entirely useless. Yet a little reflection will serve to shew the unphilosophical nature of this opinion. There seems, indeed, to be a system of exclusive appropriation in literature, as well as in law, which cannot be too severely reprobated. A critic of the present day cannot hear a young woman make a harmless observation on poetry or politics without starting; which start, I am inclined to think, proceeds from affectation, considering how often he must have heard the same remark made on former occasions. Ought the female sex to be debarred from speaking nonsense on literary matters any more than the men? I think not. Even supposing that such privilege was not originally conferred by a law of nature, they have certainly acquired right to it by the long prescription. Besides, if Common-place remarks were not daily and nightly rendered more commonplace by continual repetition, even a man of original mind might run the hazard of occasionally so far forgetting himself and his subject, as to record an idea which, upon more mature deliberation, might be found to be no idea at all. This, I contend, is prevented by the judicious interference of the fair sex.

At the same time, "a highly polished understanding," in an ugly womán, is a thing rather to be deprecated than otherwise. A pretty girl may say what she chooses, and be "severe in youthful beauty" with impunity, for no one will interrupt her solely to criticise the colour of her stockings; but I think that a plain one should reflect seriously before she "cultivates her mind assiduously."

VOL. IV.

IV.

ONE solitary death's head, all of a sudden grinning on us in our own bed-room, would be a much more trying sight than millions of skulls piled up into good large houses of three stories. Architecture of that kind is less impressive than could be imagined. There is a tolerable specimen of it at Mucruss Abbey, Killarney; but the effect is indifferent. Skulls, somehow or other, do not build well. Perhaps they would look better in mortar. As they are arranged at Mucruss Abbey, they look like great clusters of the wax of the humble-bee; and after heavy rain, the effect of the water dripping from the jaw-bones and eye-holes is rather ludicrous than pathetic. They are all in the melting mood at one time, and apparently for no sufficient reason; while the extreme uniformity of their expression may, without much impropriety, be said to be quite monotonous. It may be questioned if a stranger, unacquainted with this order of architecture, would, at first sight, perceive the nature of its material. Perhaps he would, for a while, see the likeness of one or two skulls only, and wonder how they got there; till, by degrees, the whole endwall would laughably break out, as it were, into a prodigious number of va cant faces, and wholly destroy the solemnity of that otherwise impressive religious edifice. Yet it is not to be thought that an Irishman could contemplate such a skullery with unmoved imagination. Where be all their brogue and all their bulls now! A silent gable-end of O'Donohues and Maggillicuddies! Walls with long arms-but sans eyes, sans nose, sans ears, sans brains! A mockery of the live population of the county Kerry! A cairn of skulls erected over the dry bones of the buried independence of the south of Ireland! Yes, thanks to the genius of the Lake of Killarney, there is not here the skull of a single absentee.

If the reader has ever been in the kingdom of Dahomey, he will remember the avenue leading up to the king's palace. For nearly a mile, it is lined on each side by a wall of skulls twenty feet high; and how nobly one comes at last on the skull-palace! Yet the scene cloys on the spectator. 2 T

One

comes at last to be insensible to the likeness between the head on his own shoulders and those that compose the skull-work of the royal residence; and he might forget it entirely, were it not that he occasionally sees a loose skull replaced by a head belonging, the night before, to one of his friends. It is understood that the present king of Dahomey is about to remove these walls, and distribute the old materials through his kingdom, now greatly in want of inclosures. There is also some talk of taking down the ancestral palace itself, and of building another of fresh skulls. It is calculated that 300,000 adult skulls, and 300,000 infant ones, will be sufficient for a very handsome palace; and 50,000 annually have been cheerfully subscribed for six years. It will be finished, most probably, about the same time with the college of Edinburgh; and report speaks highly of the beauty and grandeur of the elevation.

From Mucruss and Dahomey the transition is easy and natural to the catacombs of Paris. They are on a larger scale, and consequently so much the less terrifying. One skull by itself skull" may be no joking matter; but after remaining unmolested for a few minutes among some billions of pericraniums, we come to feel a sovereign contempt of the whole defunct world, and would not care a straw though a dozen of them were to jump down and attempt to kick our shins. One takes out a skull, and puts it back again into its place, just as one would a common book from the shelves of a library; and what is far worse, every skull is verbatim et literatim the same empty performance, and, not being bound in Russia leather, worm-eaten through and through. A man in the catacombs may indeed be said to be in a brown study.

A night passed in a vaulted cell, with one or even two skeletons, especially if they were well known to have been able-bodied men when alive, might well occasion a cold sweat, and make the hair to stand on end. There would be something like equal terms there, one quick against two dead; and no man of spirit could refuse the encounter, though the odds were against him, guineas to pounds. A ring would have to be formed, the odd ghost bottle-holder and umpire. But in a populous Place of Skulls-a Cra

niopolis like the catacombs, containing so enormous an "inhabitation," that no regular census has ever been madeany accidental visitor might contrive, surely, to while away a few hours without much rational perturbation, and unless very much disposed indeed to pick a quarrel, might suffer the thigh-bones to lie at rest, as pieces of ornamental furniture, never intended to be wielded as weapons either of offensive or defensive warfare.*

A night passed in small, black, bleak, musty old church, not far from the catacombs, would be worse by far than the catacombs themselves. One would sit there full of the abstract image of skulls; and, beyond all doubt, several skulls would come trundling in during the course of the night. Of old, when a hero was dubbed knight, he sat up during the dark hours in a church, where an occasional ghost or two might touch him, when gliding by, with its icy fingers. It would have required but a small share of chivalrous feeling, to have kept watch in an intrenchment of skulls, seemingly impregnable. It asks more courage to fight the champion of an army in single combat, than to dash into the lines.

DR ULRICK STERNSTARE'S FIRST

LETTER ON THE NATIONAL CHARACTER OF THE SCOTS.

Paris, 12th Nov. 1818.

MR EDITOR,

Ir is but a short while since I have received your letter, requesting that I would turn my attention to the Scottish national character, and endeavour to throw some light upon that interesting topic. I remember your applications to me, when I was in Edinburgh, concerning this matter. Nor indeed, since then, although much engrossed with other scientific researches, have I altogether lost remembrance of the cerebral characteristics exhibited by, or detected in, your countrymen. Nevertheless, as is remarked by Van Sweiten, in his Prognosis, "Phænomenorum quæ aliquando in memoriam recepimus, haud

See a letter on this subject, in a late Number of a celebrated Magazine.

extemplo menti theoria occurrit.," and therefore I have by no means been so inconsiderate as to dismiss from my recollection, what I saw in Edinburgh, whether in its courts of law, or churches, or other places of public resort; nor yet those quasi disjecta indicia, which I had opportunity of noting in the country. Since I arrived here, I have received from my friend Dr Spurzheim; valuable hints on the subject which you have so much at heart, and, with his usual liberality, he has been so kind as to communicate to me a small unpublished tract, “On certain peculiarities generally observable in the structure of Scottish lawyers."

In these circumstances, I have been revolving in my mind what things were farther needful for throwing light on the national character of your countrymen, and have had several conversations with Cuvier upon the subject. This ingenious and admirable philosopher has in his possession several sculls of Highlanders, which were picked up from the field of Waterloo, and which attest, in the most striking manner, the high-minded firmness of your mountain compatriots. These he contrasted with the sculls of some English dragoons, shewing that the latter were generally larger behind the ears, but not higher (and indeed for the most part not so high) in the top of the head.

But what I most ardently long for, is the head of a genuine and wellauthenticated covenanter. Till I procure this, my data for deciding upon the national character are quite inadequate and insufficient; and my conclusions must continue to hang, as it were, suspended in mid air. Till the head of a covenanter is produced, I sullenly refuse to open my lips. It was in the sufferings of the covenanters that the strength and devotedness of the Scottish character were most remarkably manifested, as well as the virulence and obduracy of its fanaticism. I wonder that no painter has yet attempted to represent a preaching on a hill-side. It is one of the finest subjects that can be conceived for the exhibition of character.

When last in Scotland, I was advised to look about among the pulpits, to try whether any living specimen could be found, resembling the ancient Scottish worthies. I did so, but

I found every

was not successful. where a wonderful slackening and falling off from the old rigour of spirit. No hill-side visages were to be seenno indications of hard wrestling. If I may speak out my mind, I do not believe that a single Scottish pastor of the present times has ever been fairly hand to hand with the enemy. What a declension is this!-If I reproach them unjustly, let them speak out and rebut the charge; but, if I have guessed the truth, then they are surely very different men from their forefathers.

The superb collection of sculls which for some time past I have been accumulating, in reference to Scottish characteristics, is increasing every day. But a covenanter is yet required to form the apex of the pyramid. Meantime I must content myself with collecting whatever specimens I can find. I have long had eye upon an old Scottish snuff-dealer in London, whose head contains some remarkable points. He is now in his last illness, and, if any confidence can be placed on certain nocturnal emissaries of the dissection-room, I may, in due time, expect to see him here. Several impositions have been attempted upon me: On Thursday last, three sculls of rampant Irishmen were presented to me as those of quiet Lowland peasants; but these I failed not to reject and respue with indignation, and sent the swindler blushing from my presence. Another person had the impudence to present me with a scull artificially constructed of bone. The French are an ingenious people; but an unfortunate consequence of this is, that one-half of what we meet with in their country is not real. The German gravity of my appearance, and my large peruke (with which I envelope and keep warm the seat of the soul, in conformity to the advice left by the profound and erudite Magliabechi to future men of learning), seem to inspire every Parisian variety of knave with a confidence in my bonhommie. These persons, however, have as yet met with nothing but disgraces in their attempts to practise upon me, and have not even been allowed to sneak off, till their heads were measured and examined in the most satisfactory manner, and the causes of their fourberie made as clear as daylight." No French impostor now

thinks of grappling with me any more than he would think of hugging with one of the bears in the Jardin de Plantes. This last-mentioned place is my favourite resort, and there I am in the habit of daily holding forth to men of science, on the peculiarities of the different nations, of which travelling specimens are seen passing before us.

If you meet with any thing curious, be so good as transmit it to me, either dead in a glass case, or alive with a letter of introduction. No specimen, I promise you, shall ever suspect that I am taking a look of him. Expect my next letter on this subject in due time. I am, Mr Editor, yours, &c.

ULRICK STERNSTARE.

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THE Maleverers of Maleverer had long inhabited a very ancient and extensive mansion, in a remote western county; the estate around it was considerable, and the estimation in which the members of the family were held throughout the surrounding country, was not less the result of their great local influence, than of their ancient descent. There were those who said that Avenel de Malever had accompanied Robert, Earl of Montaigne, the uterine brother of the conqueror, in his invasion of England, and had, in consequence, received a share of the plunder and confiscations lavished on that greedy nobleman. The Battle Abbeyroll, in which is to be found the name of Malevere, affords considerable confirmation of such an opinion. Be this as it may, the genealogical tree was a lofty one, and its roots were planted in very high antiquity.

Living almost entirely within their own demesne, this family had preserved much of the solemn grandeur which had attended their forefathers in the zenith of their glory; and as they found few, in more modern times, will ing to concede the respect they exacted, they had gradually withdrawn from all general society, and confined themselves solely to the intercourse which was occasionally held with their numerous tenantry. This resolution, too, was strengthened by the variance

of religious opinion between them, and the great majority of their neighbours, since the Maleverers of Maleverer prided themselves on still preserving, in all their rigour, the doctrines of the church of Rome.

In the early part of the 19th century, the last remaining scion of this venerable stock began to droop, and as the estate was, by virtue of an old entail, to go to a distant and protestant successor, the present owner felt little interest in, or attachment to, an individual, of whom he knew nothing which he considered to be favourable, and whom he looked on as little better than an intruder on the rights of his name. Without therefore having had any communication or intercourse with this neglected branch, Hugh Maleverer of Maleverer was gathered to his ancestors in the month of October 18-, in the full profession of the catholic faith, having, by his last will, bequeathed away from his successor all which it was in his power to alienate.

In compliance with the directions contained in this will, the magnificent but tarnished household furniture, nearly coeval with the embattled mansion itself, was sold immediately on his decease; and when the new tenant, an amiable and respectable country gentleman, arrived from his usual residence, in a distant part of the kingdom, to take possession of his newly acquired estates, he found scarcely a bed in his own house which he could call his own.

The day following his entry into the manor place, the gray-headed steward attended his summons, and appeared with all the musty deeds and age-stained parchments, which for centuries had been employed to secure and chronicle the various changes and arrangements made by the house of Maleverer. The investigation of them had occupied the greater part of the day, and night was fast waning, when the new possessor of this extended property, discovered that there was still much to be pored over and examined, in the pile of deeds, which had been hitherto unexplained to him. As, however, the eyes of his venerable companion began occasionally to close, and as the frequent yawn betrayed the old man's fatigue, Mr Maleverer at length told him to retire to bed, saying, that his own faculties were still untired, and that he foresaw much in

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