what is in common service for beef, and butter, and herrings, and has been often that way applied with great success; but, for its many sovereign virtues, was a quite different thing. For Peter would put in a certain quantity of his powder pimperlimpimp, after which it never failed of success. The operation was performed by spargefaction, † in a proper time of the moon. The patient, who was to be pickled, if it were a house, would infallibly be preserved from all spiders, rats, and weazels; if the party affected were a dog, he should be exempt from mange, and madness, and hunger. It also infallibly took away all scabs, and lice, and scalled heads from children, never hindering the patient from any duty, either at bed or board. But of all Peter's rarities, he most valued a certain set of bulls, ‡ whose race was by great fortune preserved in a lineal descent from those that guarded the golden fleece. Though some, who pretended to observe them curiously, doubted the breed had not been kept entirely chaste; because they had degenerated from their ancestors in some qualities, and had acquired others very extraordi * And because holy water differs only in consecration from common water, therefore he tells us that his pickle by the powder of pimperlimpimp receives new virtues, though it differs not in sight nor smell from the common pickles, which preserve beef, and butter, and herrings. W. WOTTON. + Sprinkling. The papal bulls are ridiculed by name, so that here we are at no loss for the author's meaning. W. WoTTon. Ibid. Here the author has kept the name, and means the pope's bulls, or rather his fulminations, and excommunications of heretical princes, all signed with lead and the seal of the fisherman, and therefore said to have leaden feet and fishes tails. nary, by a foreign mixture. The bulls of Colchis are recorded to have brazen feet; but whether it happened by ill pasture and running, by an allay from intervention of other parents, from stolen intrigues; whether a weakness in their progenitors had impaired the seminal virtue, or by a decline neeessary through a long course of time, the originals of nature being depraved in these latter sinful ages of the world; whatever was the cause, it is certain, that lord Peter's bulls were extremely vitiated by the rust of time in the metal of their feet, which was now sunk into common lead. * However, the terrible roaring, peculiar to their lineage, was preserved; as likewise that faculty of breathing out fire from their nostrils; † which notwithstanding many of their detractors took to be a feat of art; to be nothing so terrible as it appeared; proceeding only from their usual course of diet, which was of squibs and crackers. † However, they had two peculiar marks, which extremely distinguished them from the bulls of Jason, and which I have not met together in the description of any other monster, beside that in Horace: Varias inducere plumas ; Atrum definit in piscem. Alludes to the leaden seal at the bottom of the popish bulls. BENTLEY. ↑ These passages, and many others, no doubt, must be construed as antichristian, by the church of Rome. When the chief minister and his minions are exposed, the keener the satire the more liable is it to be interpreted into high treason against the king. ORRERY. These are the fulminations of the pope, threatning hell and damnation to those princes who offend him. For these had fishes tails, * yet upon occasion could out-fly any bird in the air. Peter put these bulls upon several employs. Sometimes he would set them a roaring to fright naughty boys, † and make them quiet. Sometimes he would send them out upon errands of great importance; where, it is wonderful to recount, (and perhaps the cautious reader may think much to believe it) an appetitus sensibilis deriving itself through the whole family from their noble ancestors, guardians of the golden fleece, they continued so extremely fond of gold, that if Peter sent them abroad, though it were only upon a compliment, they would roar, and spit, and belch, and piss and fart, and snivel out fire, and keep a perpetual coil, till you flung them a bit of gold; but then, pulveris exigui jactu, they would grow calm and quiet as lambs. In short, whether by secret connivance, or encouragement from their master, or out of their own liquorish affection to gold, or both, it is certain they were no better than a sort of sturdy, swaggering beggars; and where they could not prevail to get an alms, would make women miscarry, and children fall into fits, who to this very day, usually call sprights and hobgoblins, by the name of bull-beggars. They grew at last so very troublesome to the neighbourhood, that some gentlemen of the north-west got a parcel of right English bull-dogs, and baited them so terribly, that they felt it ever after. § * Alluding to the expression sub signo piscatoris. BENTLEY. That is, kings who incurred his displeasure. + Heretics orschismatics, as the pope calls protestants. BENTLEY. The allusion to the pope's bulls reminds us of the ludicrous comparison concerning them, made to the Sieur de la Noue, by an I must needs mention one more of Lord Peter's projects, which was very extraordinary, and discovered him to be master of a high reach, and profound invention. Whenever it happened, that any rogue of Newgate was condemned to be hanged, Peter would offer him a pardon for a certain sum of money; which when the poor caitiff had made all shifts to scrape up, and send, his lordship would return a piece of paper in this form. † alchemist, who had spent his fortune in quest of the philosopher's stone. De la Noue, meeting him in great distress, begun thus to upbraid him with his folly: "Well, my yong maister,' said I, 'you are now in good case to learn to flye, for you have nothing to loade you or hinder your lightnesse." 'Oh, sir,' said he, you should rather take pitie of those that unawares have made shipwrecke.' Truely so I doe,' said I,' sith I see you so penitent; neither shall the helpe of my purse bee denyed you to furnish you in some lawfull vocation; but now shewe me unfaynedly what light or certaintie is there in your precepts ?' 'Our pamphlets,' said he, 'are full of riddles and obscuritie, and our long labours and continuall expences, doe, in the ende, bring forth but untimely birthes and phantasies. Have you not,' replyed I, any example, either olde or newe, of any that hath found out the secret? 'I know,' said he, but one that ever attained thereto.' 'I pray you,' said I, 'tell me who that was.' 'It is, said he, 'he.' 'Who?" said I, 'for I cannot know him unlesse you otherwise name him unto me.' 'It is he,' said he. Why,' said I, 'do you then mock me?' 'Well,' said he, then I must needs tell you. It is the Holy Father, who hath taught all our blowers that they are but doultes, which in many yeares doe multiply all their somewhat into nothing. Where himselfe yearely in France only transformeth and multiplieth fortie pounds of lead, which may be worth two crownes, into 4000 pounds of golde, which may be worth 600000 crownes, and then maketh attraction thereof even into Rome.' 'Truely,' said I, 'I will give you tenne crownes the more for breaking your minde so plainly unto me: but I would wish you not to use much such speech in this towne, least our maisters of Sorbonne immediately denounce you an heretick of seventeene carects and a halfe."-DE LA NOUE's Politicke and Militarie Discourses. London, 1587. 4. p. 305. 6 †This is a copy of a general pardon, signed servus servorum. "TO all mayors, sheriffs, jailors, constables, bailiffs, hangmen, &c. Whereas we are informed, that A B remains in the hands of you, or some of you, under the sentence of death. We will and command you, upon sight hereof, to let the said prisoner depart to his own habitation, whether he stands condemned for murder, sodomy, rape, sacrilege, incest, treason, blasphemy, &c for which this shall be your sufficient warrant and if you fail hereof, G-d-mn you and yours to all eternity. And so we bid you heartily farewel. Your most humble Emperor PETER." The wretches, trusting to this, lost their lives and money too. I desire of those, whom the learned among posterity will appoint for commentators upon this elaborate treatise, that they will proceed with great caution upon certain dark points, wherein all, who are not verè adepti, may be in danger to form rash and hasty conclusions, especially in some mysterious paragraphs, where certain arcana are joined for brevity sake, which in the operation must be divided. And I am certain, that future sons of art will return large thanks to my memory, for so grateful, so useful an innuendo. It will be no difficult part to persuade the reader, that so many worthy discoveries met with Ibid. Absolution in articulo mortis, and the tax camera apośtolica, are jested upon in emperor Peter's letter. W. WOTTON. Ibid. The form of the pope's general pardon exposed. BENT |