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“ Jan. 6. A beautiful frosty morning. Teach me, O Lord! from the beauties of nature, to learn the beauties of grace. Every returning morning reminds me what a mercy it is I am still alive; and have space and time given me to repent and believe. Take my heart, O God! into thy keeping, and then it will be safe. If it be thy good pleasure to rescue me from temporal perplexity, let my gratitude appear; if not, let it be ground for submission and patient resignation. With thee, I cannot do
With thee, I cannot do ill; without thee, cannot do well. Heard Nugent's morning prayers. May he learn early the lesson, wbich I for so many years neglected, and now perform so unworthily. Prayer is the breath of faith.
“ Jan. 7. Surprised by a letter from Hannah More, to invite me to succeed Mr. Drewitt, at Cheddar, or to recommend a curate. Oh, I am unworthy, could it be brought about. Yet what a field to act upon. Lead me, O God, to that which is right. Shall I make any overtures to remove there or not? It has filled me with mingled contemplation and solicitude. Is it a call from God, or ought I rather to do his ork here ? Direct my heart, O God, from doubts and wanderings, into thy paths.
« Jan. 8, Sunday. Snow and sleet. How cold are my affections ! like this season. Warm my heart, O Lord ! till it burn with the flames of devotion. Compose my thoughts into holy meditation, and let not the events of the day destroy them.
“ Preached on the Epiphany, and on Christ among the doctors in the temple.
“ My heart heavy in reflecting how unworthy I am to think ever of succeeding Mr. Drewitt: to be placed in such a parish, with such neighbours and friends as that country would afford, might be an unspeakable benefit to me, and my dear M- ; but I hardly dare think of it. Lord direct me for the best. I am a poor, weak, irresolute, sinful creature ; without thee, I can do nothing.
“ Jan. 10. What an awful idea is eternity: am I prepared to encounter it? • Oh, spare me a little, that I
may recover my strength before I go hence, and be no more seen!' Settle my opinions steadfastly, and above all, my affections on thyself, O Lord! Have mercy on the dear children whom thou hast given me, and may I give them back unto thee in Jesus Christ, their and my Saviour. I fear I have not taught N. all I ought, and of which he is capable. Let me lay this to heart, and recommend him to God in prayer.
“Much perplexed what to say to Mrs. More. Surely if vanity wanted food, it is here to be solicited by a Hannah More to supply the place of a Drewitt! But a sense of unworthiness, thank God, represses emotions like these.
66 Jan. 11. Much indisposed by a very severe cold; but alas ! how much more sick in the inner man.
I have nearly finished this month's portion for the Christian Observer.' May I grow daily more diligent, pious, and wise unto salvation, through God's blessing on my studies.
“ Jan. 13. Better in body : I thank thee, O God; but there is much in my mind that wants healing. Oh! thou Redeemer of souls, and physician of hearts, purchase me entirely to thyself, and heal my diseases. I have sent off my packet to the Christian Observer. The world fights against me, the flesh within me, and Satan both within and without.
How shall I conquer, but in Christ Jesus? Help me to prepare, O Lord, for the service of thy sanctuary; and direct me to such thoughts and words as shall edify my hearers, and reach my own heart to a good purpose.
" Jan 14. One fortnight more, and I shall be thirty-two in years by nature, but. how old in grace? Sloth, detested sloth, how does it injure my advancement! Would to God I might now break all bonds, and Ay in heart and soul to the possession of my God. There are moments when all heaven seems open before me ; and others, when I tremble over the pit of sorrows.
“ Jan. 15. The Sabbath is ended, I preached on the reason why Christ delivered his doctrine in parables ; Matt. xiii. 10, 11.
At Yaverland, read the Homily on the time and place of
prayer. Went to Arreton; my excellent though humble friend, J. W. was there. I pray God I might sit at his feet in the kingdom of heaven: I know no such other Christian here. Would to God I were like him. I found much comfort with my society. Returned in thunder, lightning, and rain. Thought of death and of judgment. Oh, awful meditation! Let me examine my heart on its faith, hope, and love. Help me, O God! to pray; and so may thy blessing rest on me and mine.
6 Jan. 16. Another week and another mercy. « Oh, teach me to number my days, that I may apply my heart unto wisdom.' Why am I alive? Why have I space to repent, when so many are cut off? Who makes me to differ, either in outward or inward circumstances ? Oh, my Lord, and my God! to thee I owe every thing ; yea, myself also. Let me then speedily pay the debt.
“What method shall I take to cure my spiritual slothfulness? There must be a struggle and agony-heaven must be taken with violence.
“ Day after day elapses.- Oh, time! oh, eternity! In spite of sorrows, calms and relaxations sometimes steal on me.
Let me not deceive myself with a false peace. Sometimes I am tempted to doubt whether I am a real Christian. O teach me, my God, to answer this question with a right conscience.
66 Jan. 17. I feel much uneasiness at not making more progress in the right way. The unfruitful tree shall be cut down and burned. Have mercy on me, and all my family, according to thy goodness, O Lord! Help me to form a right judgment, bind my
affection to the truth, and so let my life shew it forth. Often, as my birth-day approached, have I made resolutions of a new life ; but there has always been an enemy within and without, to prevail against me.
“ Much pleased with Dr. Jackson, on the Catholic churcha curious and beautiful mean, between Arminianism and high Calvinism. Give me a firm and resolute heart, O God! even such an one as thou wilt accept.
- Wrote to Hannah More, dubiously. Lord, direct me to choose for the best.
“Jan. 18. This day, with thy blessing, I shall go to feed my sheep at Bembridge. Grant me to do so with a faithful and a single heart. I always look upon that society, as a humble ground for hope that the Lord means to do good through me; yet how often do I perform that duty with slothfulness. Give me, O God, more will, and strength, and grace,
and blessing, and success; and teach me to judge (if it so please thee) by the state of my people, of my own. Provide Cheddar with a successor to Drewitt, after thine own heart; and increase the number of true pastors, and true sheep in thy pasture.
" Jan. 19. How vain are all attempts to find peace but the Gospel! How the world steals upon the mind, and usurps the throne of God. Video meliora proboque, deteriora sequor.' Make me more discreet and considerate in the management of my property. Let justice and generosity be equally and forcibly remembered. I find my prayers languid and lukewarm to-day. Why is this? The fault must lie within.
6. Jan. 20. Little Mary in a very high fever; Nugent beginning to have one. Tcach me so to bear these trials, that they may be truly profitable unto me.
is Jan. 24. Let me impress on my mind the value of time, and resolve and act accordingly. Let me often reflect on my
in aught wife's and children's souls, as well as my own; and never forget the spiritual welfare of my flock.
Mary excessively weak—Nugent worse. Keep my heart, O God! or I shall be soon overwhelmed. Grant me thy blessing, O God! 6 Jan. 25.
Letter from Mr. Wilberforce. How beautiful a sight is riches united with godliness. Yet who that has the latter is not truly possessed of the former? If the weather should permit my going to Bembridge, prosper my endeavour among the people, O Lord! and may their prosperity be mine.
- 27. An affecting letter from my mother to my wife, exhorting to fortitude and patience, in case it should please God to take our sweet little Mary to himself. May we find it to be for our good, which ever way the righteous God shall ordain. Let me reflect much on this matter and be thou with me, O my God! in all my prayers and supplications.
29. The Lord's sabbath and my birth-day, O Almighty God! sanctify this day in my heart: herein and henceforth may I rest from sin, and spiritual sorrow, except that sorrow which worketh repentance unto salvation.
“I have preached on the parable, Matt. xx. 1; and from Eph. i. 7, on redemption.
“ Had some interesting conversation with J. W. and E. C. Went to Arreton-Comfort and peace. My child rather better. God bless us all, and make us to know what means peace with thee.
“ The barometer rose an inch and a half in twenty-four hours. " Jan. 30.
The risings and fallings of the barometer, and the consequent changes of weather, remind me of the risings and fallings of my own spirit. This day some friends are coming to keep my birth-day: when will friends of another kind celebrate my birth-day into the life of glory? Ten pounds from Mr. Wilberforce for the poor. Holy man! would I resembled thee.
31. May God strengthen me to keep my birth-day resolutions; I am very weak and unstable.
“A momentary fit of anger, which, blessed be God, I imme-, diately tranquillized, and sought present reconciliation. Let the fear of God's anger ever make me afraid of my own.
“ Feb. 1. I am studying the Augsburg Confession on Justi• fication. It appears decisive against Daubeny. Oh! for a full application of the doctrine to my own soul.
“Met my society at Bembridge. The occasion profitable. Returned in a storm. May these meetings prove a solid and permanent advantage to all and to me.
2. When I reflect on my unfruitfulness, I tremble. Hours, days, weeks, years roll on, and still so much is to be done.
“ I have looked into the controversy between Daubeny and Overton. Faults on both sides. But there is a controversy between me and my God, where the fault is all on one side. Who shall judge between us? O Christ! be my advocate, yea, my surety, and I shall not fear thee, when thou shalt appear as my judge.
" Feb. 7. Much ado about nothing, and little done about the great thing. Oh, let thy mercy be shown to me, by enabling me to show mercy to myself! When I think of what I have been, what I am, what I shall be,--the idea fills me with hopeful fear, and fearful hope. Let me think of my sermons, my soul, my family, my relations, my friends, my parish, my Saviour, and my God; and thus close
meditation to-night with prayer. 9. Dreamed a dream, full of confusion and danger; useful hints may be drawn rationally from dreams, so far as they may be considered as resulting from the state and frame of the body, and the inward customary state of the mind. Dreams are for the most part the uninterrupted thoughts of the soul in sleep. Oh, my God! may my waking thoughts and my sleeping imaginations all become full of thee!
10. I find a strong inclination to false fancy, as if some change in my worldly state and residence were to bring about a correspondent one in my spiritual condition. Satan struggles, together with the flesh, to keep up the dangerous phantom. Art thou not here, O my God! and is not mine office here? and has not my soul helps sufficient? Oh, yes! give me strength to resist this, and to seek thee here and now. Oh! let me watch as well as pray, lest I enter into temptation. “ Feb. 11. This day is to be an eclipse of the sun.
What a beautiful emblem of those eclipses of the soul, which sometimes hide the face of God from the sons of earth. Oh, revive me with thy presence, my God! even thy effectual and abiding presence. I have been meditating on the parable of the good Samaritan, in a spiritual application, with a view of preaching on it. May both its literal and mystical sense shine forth in me.
“ To-morrow is thy day, O God of Hosts! may I sapctify it, and may my words be blessed to the hearts of my hearers. Enable me to speak from the heart to the heart.
“— 15. Ash-Wednesday. Is this truly so to me? Do I mourn in dust and ashes for my sins ? I want the spirit of mortification and self-denial. Enable me to preach to my people