being a bold bluftering fellow, accepted the challenge; how they met and fought, to the great diverfion of the fpectators; and after giving one another broken heads, and many bloody wounds and bruises, how they both drew off victorious; in which their example has been frequently imitated by great clerks and others, fince that time. How Martin's friends applauded his victory; and how lord Harry's friends complimented him on the fame fcore; and particularly lord Peter, who fent him a fine feather for his cap, to be worn by him and his fucceffors, as a perpetual mark of his bold defence of lord Peter's cause. How Harry, flushed with his pretended victory over Martin, began to huff Peter alfo, and at laft down-right quarreled with him about a wench. How fome of lord Harry's tenants, ever fond of changes, began to talk kindly of Martin, for which he mauled them foundly; as he did alfo thofe that adhered to Peter. How he turned fome out of houfe and hold, others he hanged or burnt, &c.

How Harry Huff, after a deal of bluftering, wenching, and bullying, died, and was fucceeded by a good-natured boy, who, giving way to the general bent of his tenants, allowed Martin's notions to spread every-where, and take deep root in Albion. How, after his death, the farm fell into the hands of a lady, who was violently in love with lord Peter. How the purged the whole country with fire and fword, refolved not to leave the name or remembrance of Martin. How Peter triumphed, and fet up fhops again, for felling his own powders, plafters and falves, which were now called the only

true

true ones, Martin's being all declared counterfeit. How great numbers of Martin's friends left the country, and, travelling up and down in foreign parts, grew acquainted with many of Jack's followers, and took a liking to many of their notions and ways, which they afterwards brought back into Albion, now under another landlady, more moderate and more cunning than the former. How the endeavoured to keep friendship both with Peter and Martin, and trimmed for fome time between the two, not without countenancing and affifting at the fame time many of Jack's followers; but, finding no poffibility of reconciling all the three brothers, because each would be mafter, and allow no other falves, powders, or plafters, to be used but his own, she discarded all three, and fet up a fhop for those of her own farm, well furnished with powders, plafters, falves, and all other drugs neceffary, all right and true, compofed according to receipts made by phyficians and apothecaries of her own creating, which they extracted out of Peter's, and Martin's, and Jack's receipt-books; and of this medley or hodgepodge made up a difpenfatory of their own; ftrictly forbidding any other to be used, and particularly Peter's, from which the greatest part of this new difpenfatory was ftolen. How the lady, farther to confirm this change, wifely imitating her father, degraded Peter from the rank he pretended as eldest brother; and fet up herfelf in his place, as head of the family, and ever after wore her father's old cap, with the fine feather he had got from Peter for standing his friend; which has likewise

been worn, with no fmall oftentation, to this day, by all her fucceffors, though declared enemies to Peter. How lady Befs and her phyficians, being told of many defects and imperfections in their new medley difpenfatory, refolve on a further alteration, and to purge it from a great deal of Peter's trash, that ftill remained in it; but were prevented by her death. How she was fucceeded by a north-country-farmer, who pretended great skill in the managing of farms, though he could never never govern his own poor little farm, nor yet this large new one after he got it. How this new landlord, to fhew his valour and dexterity, fought against enchanters, weeds, giants, and wind-mills, and claimed great honour for his victories, though he oftimes b-fh-t himself when there was no danger. How his fucceffor, no wiser than he, occafioned great disorders by the new methods he took to manage his farms. How he attempted to establish in his northern farm, the fame difpenfatory used in the fouthern, but miscarried, becaufe Jack's powders, pills, falves, and plafters, were there in great vogue.

How the Author finds himself embarrassed for having introduced into his Hiftory a new fect, different from the three he had undertaken to treat of; and how his inviolable refpect to the facred number three, obliges him to reduce these four, as he intends to do all other things, to that number *; and for that end to drop the former Martin, and to fubftitute in his place lady Befs's inftitution,

A panegyrical Effay upon the number THREE' is among the treatifes advertised at the beginning of The Tale of a Tub.

which is to pass under the name of Martin in the fequel of this true History. This weighty point being cleared, the Author goes on, and describes mighty quarrels and fquabbles between Jack and Martin; how fometimes the one had the better, and sometimes the other, to the great defolation of both farms, till at laft both fides concur to hang up the landlord, who pretended to die a martyr for Martin, though he had been true to neither fide, and was suspected by many to have a great affection for Peter.

A DIGRESSION, on the nature, usefulness, and neceflity of WARS and QUARRELs.

T'

HIS being a matter of great confequence, the Author intends to treat it methodically, and at large, in a treatise apart, and here to give only fome hints of what his large treatise contains. The ftate of war, natural to all creatures. War is an attempt to take by violence from others, a part of what they have, and we want. Every man, fully fenfible of his own merit, and finding it not duly regarded by others, has a natural right to take from them all that he thinks due to himself; and every creature, finding its own wants more than those of others, has the fame right to take every thing its nature requires. Brutes, much more modeft in their pretenfions this way, than than men; and mean men

more than great ones. The higher one raises his pretenfions this way, the more buftle he makes about them; and the more fuccefs he has, the greater hero. Thus greater fouls, in proportion to their fuperior merit, claim a greater right to take every thing from meaner folks. This the true foundation of grandeur and heroifm, tion of degrees among men. fary to establish fubordination, and to found cities, kingdoms, &c. as alfo to purge bodies politic of grofs humours. Wife princes find it neceffary to have wars abroad, to keep peace at home. War, famine, and peftilence, the ufual cures for corruptions in bodies politic. A comparison of these three.

and of the diftincWar therefore necef

The