mutton as any in Leadenhall market; and G-confound you both eternally, if you offer to believe otherwise. Such a thundering proof as this left no further room for objection; the two unbelievers began to gather and pocket up their mistake, as hastily as they could. Why, truly, faid the firft, upon more mature confideration.-Ay, fays the other interrupting him, now I have thought better on the thing, your lordship feems to have a great deal of reafon. Very well, faid Peter; here, boy, fill me a beer-glass of claret; here's to you both with all my heart. The two brethren, much delighted to fee him fo readily appeafed, returned their most humble thanks, and faid, they would be glad to pledge his lordship. That you fhall, faid Peter; I am not a person to refuse you any thing that is reasonable; wine, moderately taken, is a cordial; here is a glass a piece for you; it is true natural damned vintjuice from the grape, none of your ners brewings. Having spoke thus, he prefented to each of them another large dry cruft, bidding and not be bafhful, for it would them drink it off, do them no hurt. The two brothers, after having performed the ufual office in fuch delicate conjunctures, of staring a fufficient period at lord Peter and each other, and finding how matters were likely to go, resolved not to enter on a new difpute, but let him carry the point as he pleased: for he was now got into one of his mad fits, and to argue or expoftulate farther, would only ferve to render him a hundred times more untractable. 5 I have chofen to relate this worthy matter in all its circumstances, because it gave a principal occafion to that great and famous * rupture, which happened about the fame time among these brethren, and was never afterwards made of that I shall treat at large in another section. up. But However it is certain, that lord Peter, even in his lucid intervals, was very lewdly given in his common converfation, extreme wilful and pofitive, and would at any time rather argue to the death, than allow himself once to be in an error. Befides, he had an abominable faculty, of telling huge palpable lies upon all occafions; and not only fwearing to the truth, but curfing the whole company to hell, if they pretended to make the least scruple of believing him. One time he fwore he had a cow at home, which gave as much milk at a meal, as would fill three thoufand churches; and what was yet more extraordinary, would never turn four. Another time he was telling of an old || fign poft, that belonged to his father, with nails and timber enough in it to build fixteen large men of war. which were Talking one day of Chinese waggons, made fo light as to fail over mountains: Z-ds, faid Peter, where's the wonder of that? by G—, I By this rupture is meant the reformation. Extreme, for extremely. The ridiculous multiplying of the virgin Mary's milk among the papists, under the allegory of a cow, which gave as much milk at a meal, as would fill three thoufand churches. W. Wotton. By this fign-poft is meant the crofs of our bleffed Saviour; and, if all the wood, that is fhewn for parts of it, was collected, the quantity would fufficiently juftify this farcafm. faw faw a large houfe of lime and ftone, travel over fea and land, (granting that it stopped fometimes to bait) above two thousand German leagues. And that which was the good of it, he would fwear desperately all the while, that he never told a lie in his life; and at every word; by G-, gentlemen, I tell you nothing but the truth: and the D-I broil them eternally, that will not believe me. In short, Peter grew fo fcandalous, that all the neighbourhood began in plain words to fay, he was no better than a knave. And his two brothers, long weary of his ill ufage, refolved at last to leave him; but first, they humbly defired a copy of their father's will, which had now lain by neglected time out of mind. Instead of granting this requeft, he called them damned fons of whores, rogues, traytors, and the reft of the vile names he could mufter up. However, while he was abroad one day upon his projects, the two youngsters watched their opportunity, made a fhift to come at the will, + and took a copia vera, by which they prefently faw how grofly they had been abufed; their father having left them equal heirs, and strictly commanded, that whatever they got, fhould lie in common among them all. Pursuant to which, their next The chapel of Loretto. He falls here only upon the ridiculous Inventions of popery: the church of Rome intended by these things to gull filly, fuperftitious people, and rook them of their money; the world had been too long in flavery, our ancestors gloriously redeemed us from that yoke. The church of Rome therefore ought to be expofed, and he deferves well of mankind that does expofe it. W. Wotton. Ibid. The chapel of Loretto, which travelled from the Holy Land to Italy. Tranflated the fcriptures into the vulgar tongues. enter go enterprize was, to break open the cellar-door, and get a little good * drink, to spirit and comfort their hearts. In copying the will, they had met another precept against whoring, divorce, and separate maintenance; upon which their next † work was to difcard their concubines, and fend for their wives. While all this was in agitation, there enters a follicitor from Newgate, defiring lord Peter would please to procure a pardon for a thief, that was to be hanged to morrow. But the two brothers told him, he was a coxcomb to seek pardons from a fellow, who deferved to be hanged much better than his client; and difcovered all the method of that imposture, in the fame form I delivered it a while ago, advifing the follicitor to put his friend upon obtaining a pardon from the king. In the midst of all this clutter and revolution, in comes Peter with a file of § dragoons at his heels, and gathering from all hands what was in the wind, he and his gang, after feveral millions of fcurrilities and curfes, not very important here to | repeat, by main force very fairly ¶ kicked them both out of [ doors, and would never let them come under his roof from that day to this. • Administered the cup to the laity at the communion. Directed penitents not to trust to pardons and abfolutions procured for money, but fent them to implore the mercy of God, from whence alone remiffion is to be obtained. By Peter's dragoons is meant the civil power, which those princes, who were bigotted to the Romish fuperftition, employed against the reformers. It fhould be, here to be repeated.' The pope huts all who diffent from him out of the church. SECT. WE SECT. V. A digreffion in the modern kind. E, whom the world is pleafed to honour with the title of modern authors, fhould never have been able to compass our great defign of an everlasting remembrance, and never-dying fame, if our endeavours had not been so highly serviceable to the general good of mankind. This, O universe, is the adventurous attempt of me thy secretary; Quemvis perferre laborem Suadet, & inducit noctes vigilare ferenas. To this end, I have fome time fince, with a world of pains and art, diffected the carcass of human nature, and read many useful lectures upon the feveral parts, both containing and contained; 'till at laft it fmelt fo ftrong, I could preferve it no longer. Upon which, I have been at a great expence to fit up all the bones with exact contexture, and in due symmetry; so that I am ready to fhew a complete anatomy thereof, to all curious gentlemen and others. But not to digrefs farther in the midst of a digreffion, as I have known fome authors inclofe digreffions in one another, like a neft of boxes; I do affirm, that having carefully cut up human nature, I have found a very strange, new, and important difcovery; that the public good of mankind is performed by two ways, instruction, and diverfion. And I have farther proved in my faid feveral readings, (which perVOL. II. I haps |