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whom Terence makes frequent and honourable mention, under the name of Malevoli.

Now, it is certain, the inftitution of the true critics, was of abfolute neceffity to the commonwealth of learning. For all human actions feem to be divided, like Themistocles and his company; one man can fiddle, and another can make a fmall town a great city; and he, that cannot do either one or the other, deferves to be kicked out of the creation. The avoiding of which penalty, has doubtless given the first birth to the nation of critics; and withal, an occafion for their fecret detractors to report, that a true critic is a fort of mechanic, fet up with a ftock and tools for his trade, at as little expence as a taylor; and that there is much analogy between the utenfils, and abilities of both: that the taylor's hell is the type of a critic's common-place book, and his wit and learning held forth by the goose; that it requires at least as many of these to the making up of one scholar, as of the others to the compofition of a man; that the valour of both is equal, and their weapons * near of a fize. Much may be faid in answer to thofe invidious reflections; and I can pofitively affirm the first to be a falfhood: for on the contrary, nothing is more certain, than that it requires greater layings out, to be free of the critic's company, than of than of any other you can name. For, as to be a true beggar, it will cost the richest candidate every groat he is worth; fo, before one can commence a true critic, it will coft a man all

* Near, for nearly.

the

the good qualities of his mind; which, perhaps for a lefs purchase, would be thought but an indifferent bargain.

Having thus amply proved the antiquity of criticifm, and described the primitive state of it; I fhall now examine the prefent condition of this empire, and fhew how well it agrees with its ancient felf. * A certain author, whofe works have many ages fince been intirely loft, does, in his fifth book, and eighth chapter, fay of critics, that their writings are the mirrors of learning. This I understand in a literal fenfe, and fuppofe our author must mean, that whoever designs to be a perfect writer, must inspect into the books of critics, and correct his invention there, as in a mirror. Now, whoever confiders, that the mirrors of the ancients were made of brass, and fine mercurio, may prefently apply the two principal qualifications of a true modern critic, and confequently muft needs conclude, that these have always been, and must be for ever the fame. For, brafs is an emblem of duration, and, when it is fkilfully burnished, will caft reflections from its own fuperficies, without any affiftance of mercury from behind. All the other talents of a critic, will not require a particular mention, being included, or eafily reducible to thefe. However, I fhall conclude with three maxims, which may serve both as characteristics to distinguish a true modern critic from a pretender, and will be alfo of admirable use

* A quotation after the manner of a great author. Vide Bentley's differtation, &c.

to

to those worthy fpirits, who engage in fo useful and honourable an art.

The first is, that criticism, contrary to all other faculties of the intellect, is ever held the trueft and best, when it is the very first result of the critic's mind: as fowlers reckon the firft aim for the fureft, and feldom fail of miffing the mark, if they stay for a fecond.

Secondly, the true critics are known, by their talent of swarming about the noblest writers, to which they are carried merely by inftinct, as a rat to the best cheese, or a wasp to the fairest fruit. So, when the king is on horseback, he is fure to be the dirtieft person of the company; and they that make their court beft, are fuch as befpatter him most.

Lastly, a true critic, in the perufal of a book, is like a dog at a feast, whose thoughts and stomach are wholly fet upon what guests fling away, and confequently is apt to fnarl moft, when there are the feweft bones.

Thus much, I think, is fufficient to serve by way of addrefs to my patrons, the true modern critics; and may very well atone for my past filence, as well as that which I am * like to observe for the future. I hope I have deserved fo well of their whole body, as to meet with generous and tender ufage from their hands. Supported by which expectation, I go on boldly to pursue those adventures, already so happily begun.

Like, for likely.

SECT.

I

SECT. IV.

A TALE OF A TUB.

HAVE now, with much pains and study, con

ducted the reader to a period, where he must expect to hear of great revolutions. For no fooner had our learned brother, so often mentioned, got a warm house of his own over his head, than he began to look big, and take mightily upon him; infomuch, that unless the gentle reader, out of his great candour, will please a little to exalt his idea, I am afraid he will henceforth hardly know the hero of the play, when he happens to meet him; his part, his dress, and his mien being so much altered.

He told his brothers, he would have them to know that he was their elder, and confequently his father's fole heir; nay, a while after, he would not allow them to call him brother, but Mr. PETER; and then he must be ftyled father Peter; and fometimes, my lord PETER. To fupport this grandeur, which he foon began to confider could not be maintained without a better fonde, than what he was born to; after much thought, he caft about at laft to turn projector and virtuofo, wherein he so well fucceeded, that many famous difcoveries, projects and machines, which bear great vogue and practice at prefent in the world, are owing entirely I will deduce the

to lord PETER's invention.

beft account I have been able to collect of the chief among them, without confidering much the order VOL. II.

H

they

they came out in; because, I think, authors are not well agreed as to that point.

I hope, when this treatise of mine shall be tranflated into foreign languages (as I may without vanity affirm, that the labour of collecting, the faithfulness in recounting, and the great usefulness of the matter to the public, will amply deserve that justice) that the worthy members of the feveral academies abroad, efpecially thofe of France and Italy, will favourably accept thefe humble offers, for the advancement of univerfal knowledge. I do alfo advertise the most reverend fathers, the Eaftern miffionaries, that I have, purely for their fakes, made ufe of fuch words and phrafes, as will best admit an eafy turn into any of the oriental languages, efpecially the Chinese. And fo I proceed with great content of mind, upon reflecting, how much emolument this whole globe of the earth, is likely to reap by my labours.

*

The first undertaking of lord Peter, was, to purchafe a large continent, lately faid to have been difcovered in terra auftralis incognita. This tract of land he bought at a very great penny-worth, from the dif coverers themselves, (though fome pretended to doubt whether they had ever been there) and then retailed it into feveral cantons to certain dealers, who carried over colonies, but were all fhipwrecked in the voyage. Upon which lord Peter fold the faid continent to other customers again, and again, and again, and again, with the fame fuccefs.

That is purgatory:

The