has overheard all we have been saying. I knew you would clear yourself, or I should not have consented. Charles Surface· How, Sir Peter! Joseph Surface - Softly, there! Charles Surface - Oh, 'fore Heaven, Sir Peter, come forth! Joseph Surface —No, no Where is he? [Points to the closet. I'll have him out. come into court. What! Charles Surface I say, Sir Peter, [Pulls in SIR PETER.] What! my old turn inquisitor, and take. evidence incog.? Oh, fie! Oh, fie! Sir Peter - Give me your hand, Charles-I believe I have suspected you wrongfully; but you mustn't be angry with Joseph'twas my plan! Charles Surface - Indeed! Sir Peter-But I acquit you. I promise you I don't think near so ill of you as I did: what I have heard has given me great satisfaction. Charles Surface - Egad, then, 'twas lucky you didn't hear any more. Wasn't it, Joseph? Sir Peter Ah! you would have retorted on him. Sir Peter- Yes, yes, I know his honor too well. Charles Surface-But you might as well have suspected him as me in this matter, for all that. Mightn't he, Joseph? Sir Peter-Well, well, I believe you. Joseph Surface - Would they were both out of the room! [Aside. Sir Peter-And in future, perhaps, we may not be such strangers. Reënter Servant, and whispers JOSEPH SURFACE. Servant-Lady Sneerwell is below, and says she will come up. Joseph Surface - Lady Sneerwell! Gad's life! she must not come here. [Exit Servant.] Gentlemen, I beg pardon I must wait on you downstairs: here is a person come on particular business. Charles Surface-Well, you can see him in another room. Sir Peter and I have not met a long time, and I have something to say to him. Joseph Surface [aside] - They must not be left together. -[Aloud] I'll send Lady Sneerwell away, and return directly. [Aside to SIR PETER] Sir Peter, not a word of the French milliner. Sir Peter [aside to JOSEPH SURFACE]I! not for the world! [Exit JOSEPH SURFACE.] Ah, Charles, if you associated more with your brother, one might indeed hope for your reformation. He is a man of sentiment. Well, there is nothing in the world so noble as a man of sentiment. Charles Surface - Psha! he is too moral by half; and so apprehensive of his good name, as he calls it, that I suppose he would as soon let a priest into his house as a wench. Sir Peter-No, no, no! Joseph is no rake, but he is no respect. [Aside] I have a great should have such a laugh at Joseph. -you wrong him. such saint either, in that mind to tell him—we Charles Surface - Oh, hang him! he's a very anchorite, a young hermit! - you must not abuse him: he may chance to hear of it again, I promise you. Charles Surface-Why, you won't tell him? Sir Peter-No but this way. - [Aside] Egad, I'll tell him [Aloud] Hark'ee-have you a mind to have a good laugh at Joseph ? Charles Surface - I should like it of all things. Sir Peter-Then, i' faith, we will! I'll be quit with him for discovering me. He had a girl with him when I called. [Whispers. Charles Surface - What! Joseph? you jest. Sir Peter Hush!- a little French milliner- and the best of the jest is she's in the room now. Charles Surface - The devil she is! her! [Points to the screen. Sir Peter-No, no, he's coming : — you shan't indeed! Charles Surface - Oh, egad, we'll have a peep at the little milliner ! Sir Peter-Not for the world! - Joseph will never forgive me. Charles Surface-I'll stand by you Sir Peter-Odds, here he is! [CHARLES SURFACE throws down the screen. Reënter JOSEPH SURFACE. Charles Surface-Lady Teazle, by all that's wonderful. Charles Surface - Sir Peter, this is one of the smartest French milliners I ever saw. Egad, you seem all to have been diverting yourselves here at hide and seek, and I don't see who is out of the secret. Shall I beg your ladyship to inform me? Not a word! Brother, will you be pleased to explain this matter? What is Morality dumb too? — Sir Peter, though I found you in the dark, perhaps you are not so now! All mute! -Well-though I can make nothing of the affair, I suppose you perfectly understand one another; so I'll leave you to yourselves. [Going.] Brother, I'm sorry to find you have given that worthy man grounds for so much uneasiness. Sir Peter! there's nothing in the world so noble as a man of sentiment! [Exit. Joseph Surface-Sir Peter-notwithstanding - I confess that appearances are against me - if you will afford me your patience I make no doubt - but I shall explain everything to your satisfaction. Sir Peter-If you please, sir. · Joseph Surface-The fact is, sir, that Lady Teazle, knowing my pretensions to your ward Maria I say, sir, Lady Teazle, being apprehensive of the jealousy of your temper and knowing my friendship to the family-she, sir, I say called here -in order that—I might explain these pretensions — but on your coming being apprehensive as I said of your jealousy she withdrew and this, you may depend on it, is the whole truth of the matter. - Sir Peter A very clear account, upon my word; and I dare swear the lady will vouch for every article of it. Lady Teazle - For not one word of it, Sir Peter! Sir Peter- How don't you think it worth while to agree in the lie? Lady Teazle-There is not one syllable of truth in what that gentleman has told you. Sir Peter I believe you, upon my soul, ma'am ! - Joseph Surface [aside to LADY TEAZLE] - 'Sdeath, madam, will you betray me? Lady Teazle-Good Mr. Hypocrite, by your leave, I'll speak for myself. Sir Peter-Ay, let her alone, sir; you'll find she'll make out a better story than you, without prompting. Lady Teazle Hear me, Sir Peter! I came here on no matter relating to your ward, and even ignorant of this gentleman's pretensions to her. But I came, seduced by his insidious arguments, at least to listen to his pretended passion, if not to sacrifice your honor to his baseness. Sir Peter-Now, I believe, the truth is coming, indeed! Joseph Surface - The woman's mad! Lady Teazle - No, sir; she has recovered her senses, and your own arts have furnished her with the means. Sir Peter, I do not expect you to credit me - but the tenderness you expressed for me, when I am sure you could not think I was a witness to it, has so penetrated to my heart, that had I left the place without the shame of this discovery, my future life should have spoken the sincerity of my gratitude. As for that smoothtongued hypocrite, who would have seduced the wife of his too credulous friend, while he affected honorable addresses to his ward I behold him now in a light so truly despicable, that I shall never again respect myself for having listened to him. [Exit. Joseph Surface-Notwithstanding all this, Sir Peter, Heaven knows Sir Peter your conscience. That you are a villain! and so I leave you to Joseph Surface- You are too rash, Sir Peter; you shall The man who shuts out conviction by refusing hear me. to Sir Peter-Oh, damn your sentiments! [Exeunt SIR PETER and JOSEPH SURFACE, talking. THE CALIPH VATHEK. BY WILLIAM BECKFORD. [WILLIAM BECKFORD, an eccentric English millionaire and author, was born at Fonthill, Wiltshire, in 1760, and on the death of his father, who was twice lord mayor of London, inherited a vast fortune, producing an annual revenue of over £100,000. After a grand tour of the Continent he entered Parliament, and in 1787 published, in French, "The History of Vathek," an Oriental romance, of which Byron said, "Even Rasselas' must bow before it; the Happy Valley will not bear a comparison with the Hall of Eblis." An English translation was published anonymously in 1784, and has superseded the original. Beckford erected a vast mansion at Fonthill and a palatial residence at Bath, the former being sold in 1822 for £330,000. In addition to "Vathek," Beckford wrote: "Memoirs of Extraordinary Painters," 66 Italy, with Sketches of Portugal and Spain," "Recollections," etc. He died May 2, 1844.] VATHEK, ninth Caliph of the race of the Abassides, was the son of Motassem, and the grandson of Haroun Al Raschid. From an early accession to the throne, and the talents he possessed to adorn it, his subjects were induced to expect that his reign would be long and happy. His figure was pleasing and majestic; but when he was angry one of his eyes became so terrible that no person could bear to behold it, and the wretch upon whom it was fixed instantly fell backward, and sometimes expired. For fear, however, of depopulating his dominions and making his palace desolate, he but rarely gave way to his anger. Being much addicted to women and the pleasures of the table, he sought by his affability to procure agreeable companions; and he succeeded the better as his generosity was unbounded, and his indulgences unrestrained, for he was by no means scrupulous, nor did he think with the Caliph Omar Ben Abdalaziz, that it was necessary to make a hell of this world to enjoy Paradise in the next. He surpassed in magnificence all his predecessors. The palace of Alkoremmi, which his father Motassem had erected on the hill of Pied Horses, and which commanded the whole city of Samarah, was in his idea far too scanty; he added therefore five wings, or rather other palaces, which he destined for the particular gratification of each of his senses. In the first of these were tables continually covered with the most exquisite dainties, which were supplied both by night and by day according to their constant consumption, whilst the most delicious wines and the choicest cordials flowed forth from a hundred fountains that were never exhausted. This palace was called "The Eternal or Unsatiating Banquet." The second was styled "The Temple of Melody, or the Nectar of the Soul." It was inhabited by the most skillful musicians and admired poets of the time, who not only displayed their talents within, but dispersing in bands without, caused every surrounding scene to reverberate their songs, which were continually varied in the most delightful succession. The palace named "The Delight of the Eyes, or the Support |