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client; and discovered all the method of that imposture, in the same form I delivered it a while ago; advising the solicitor to put his friend upon obtaining a pardon from the king *. In the midst of all this clutter and revolution, in comes Peter with a file of dragoons at his heels t; and gathering from all hands what was in the wind, he and his gang, after several millions of fcurrilities and curses, not very important here to repeat, by main force very fairly kicks them both out of doors I, and would never let them come under his roof from that day to this.
A Digresion in the modern kind.
E, whom the world is pleased to honour
with the title of modern authors, should never have been able to compass our great design of an everlasting remembrance, and never-dying fame, if our endeavours had not been so highly
* Directed penitents not to trust to pardons and absolutions procured for money; but fent them to implore the mercy of God, from whence alone remission is to be obtained.
+ By Peter's dragoons is meant the civil power, which those princes, who were bigotted to the Romiib superstition, employed against the reformers.
# The Pope shuts all who dissent from him out of the church.
serviceable to the general good of mankind. This, o Universe! is the adventurous attempt of me thy secretary;
Quemvis perferre laborem Suadet, et inducit noctes vigilare serenas.' To this end, I have some time since, with a world of pains and art, diffected the carcase of human nature, and read many useful lectures upon the several parts, both containing and contained; till at last it smelt so strong, I could preserve it no longer. Upon which, I have been at a great expence to fit up all the bones with exact contexture, and in due fymmetry; so that I am ready to thew a very complete anatomy thereof, to all curious gentlemen and others. But, not to digress farther in the midst of a digrefion, as I have known fome authors inclofe digressions in one another, like a nest of boxes; I do affirm, that having carefully cut up human nature, I have found a very strange, new, and important discovery ; that the public good of mankind is performed by two ways, instruction and diversion. And I have farther proved in my faid several readings, (which perhaps the world may one day fee, if I can prevail on any friend to steal a copy, or on any certain gentleman of my admirers, to be very importunate), that, as mankind is now disposed, he receives much greater advantage by being diverted than instructed; his epidemical difcases being fastidiosity, amorphy, and ofcitation ; Сс 2
whereas, whereas, in the present universal empire of wit and learning, there seems but little matter left for instruction. However, in compliance with a less fon of great age and authority, I have attempted carrying the point in all its heights; and accordingly, throughout this divine treatise, have skilfully kneaded up both together, with a layer of utile, and a layer of dulce.
When I consider how exceedingly our illustrious moderns have eclipfed the weak glimmering lights of the ancients, and turned them out of the road of all fashionable commerce, to a degree, that our choice town-wits, of most refined accomplishments, are in grave dispute, whether there have been ever any ancients or no *; in which point we are like to receive wonderful satisfaction from the most useful labours and lucubrations of that worthy modern, Dr Bentley : I say, when I confider all this, I cannot but bewail, that no famous modern hath ever yet atteinpted an universal fyftem, in a small portable volume, of all things that are to be known, or believed, or imagined, or practised in life. I am however forced to acknowledge, that such an enterprise was thought on some time ago, by a great philofopher of O. Brazil t. The method, he proposed, was by a
certain * The learned person here meant by our authar, hath been endeavouring to annihilate so many ancient writers, that, until he is pleased to stop his hand, it will be dangerous to affirm, whether there have been any ancients in the world.
+ This is an imaginary island, of kin to that which is called the Painters wives island, placed in some unknown part of the ocean, mercly at the fancy of the map-maker.