And it happened, that, before they were a month in town, great shoulder-knots came up*: Straight all the world wore shoulder-knots; no approaching the ladies ruelles, without the quota of foulder-knots. That fellow, cries one, has no foul; where is his fhoulder-knot? Our three brethren foon difcovered their want by fad experience, eting in their walks with forty mortifications nd indignities. If they went to the playhouse, e door-keeper fhewed them into the twelvenny gallery. If they called a boat, fays a waterman, I am first feuller. If they stepped to the Rofe to take a bottle, the drawer would cry, Friend, we fell no ale. If they went to vifit a lady, a footman met them at the door, with Pray fend up your message. In this unhappy cafe they went immediately to confult their father's will; read it over and over, but not a word of the Shoulder-knot. What fhould they do? What temper fhould they find? Obedience was abfolutely neceffary, and yet shoulder-knots appeared extremely requifite. After much thought, one of the brothers, who happened to be more booklearned than the other two, faid, he had found an expedient. It is true, faid he, there is nothing here in this will, totidem verbis †, making mention of * By this is understood the first introducing of pageantry, and unneceflary ornaments in the church, fuch as were neither for convenience nor edification; as a shoulder-knot, in which there is neither fymmetry nor use. When the Papifts cannot find any thing which they want in feripture, they go to oral tradition. Thus Peter is introduced diffatisfied of fhoulder-knots: But I dare conjecture, we may find them inclufive, or totidem fyllabis. This diftinction was immediately approved by all; and fo they fell again to examine. But their evil ftar had fo directed the matter, that the first syllable was not to be found in the whole writing. Upon which difappointment, he who found the former evasion, took heart, and said, Brothers, there is yet hope; for though we cannot find them totidem verbis, nor totidem fyllabis, I dare engage we fhall make them out tertio modo, or totidem literis. This discovery was also highly commended: Upon which they fell once more to the fcrutiny, and picked out S, H, O, U, L, D, E, R, when the fame planet, enemy to their repose, had wonderfully contrived that a K was not to be found. Here was a weighty difficulty! But the diftinguifhing brother, for whom we shall hereafter find a name, now his hand was in, proved, by a very good argument, that K was a modern illegitimate letter, unknown to the learned ages, nor any where to be found in ancient manufcripts. ""Tis true" (faid he)" the word Calenda hath " in Q. V. C. * been fometimes written with a "K, but erroneoufly; for in the best copies it "has been ever fpelt with a C., And, by confe I quence, diffatisfied with the tedious way of looking for all the letters of any word, which he has occafion for in the will; when neither the conftituent fyllables, nor much lefs the whole word, were there in terminis. W. Wotton. * Quibufdam veteribus codicibus: Some antient manuscripts. cr quence, it was a grofs mistake in our language to spell knot with a K; but that from hence"forward he would take care it fhould be writ"ten with a C." Upon this all farther difficulty vanished; shoulder-knots were made clearly out to be jure paterno; and our three gentlemen fwaggered with as large and as flaunting ones as the beft. But as human happiness is of a very short duration, fo in thofe days were human fafhions, upon which it entirely depends. Shoulder-knots had their time; and we muft now imagine them in their decline: For a certain lord came just from Paris, with fifty yards of gold-lace upon his coat, exactly trimmed after the court-fashion of that month. In two days, all mankind appeared closed up in bars of gold-lace *. Whoever durft peep abroad without his complement of gold-lace, was as fcandalous as a and as ill received among the women. What should our three knights do in this momentous affair? They had fufficiently ftrained a point already, in the affair of boulderknots. Upon recourfe to the will, nothing appeared there but altum filentium. That of the fhoulder-knots was a loofe, flying, circumftantial point; but this of gold-lace feemed too confiderable an alteration without better warrant: It did aliquo modo effentia adhærere, and therefore required VOL. I. Z * I cannot tell, whether the author means any new innovation by this word, or whether it be only to introduce the new methods of forcing and perverting feripture. quired a pofitive precept. But about this time it fell out, that the learned brother aforesaid had read Ariftotelis dialectica; and especially that wonderful piece, de interpretatione, which has the faculty of teaching its readers to find out a meaning in every thing but itself; like commentators on the Revelations, who proceed prophets without understanding a fyllable of the text. Brothers, faid he, you are to be informed, that of wills duo funt genera, nuncupatory* and fcriptory. That in the fcriptory will here before us, there is no precept or mention about gold-lace, conceditur: but, fi ilem affirmetur de nuncupatoria, negatur. For, brothers, if you remember, we heard a fellow fay, when we were boys, that he heard my father's man fay, that he heard my father fay, that he would advife his fons to get gold-lace on their coats, as foon as ever they could procure money to buy it. By G—, that is very true, cries the other; I remember it perfectly well, faid the third. And fo, without more ado, they got the largest gold-lace in the parifh, and walked about as fine as lords. A while after, there came up, all in fashion, a pretty fort of flame-coloured fattin † for linings ; and By this is meant tradition, allowed to have equal authority with the fcripture, or rather greater. + This is purgatory, whereof he speaks more particularly hereafter; but here, only to fhew how fcripture was perverted to prove it; which was done, by giving equal authority, with the canon, to Apocrypha, called here a codicil annexed. It is likely the author, in every one of thefe changes in the bro-. thers |
