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vert him from laying violent hands upon the fhip. This parable was immediately mythologifed. The whale was interpreted to be Hobbes's Leviathan; which toffes and plays with all schemes of religion and government, whereof a great many are hollow, and dry, and empty, and noify, and wooden, and given to rotation. This is the Leviathan, from whence the terrible wits of our age are faid to borrow their weapons. The bip in danger, is easily understood to be its old antitype, the commonwealth. But how to analyfe the tub, was a matter of difficulty; when, after long inquiry and debate, the literal meaning was preferved: And it was decreed, that, in order to prevent thefe Leviathans from toffing and fporting with the commonwealth, which of itself is too apt to fluctuate, they should be diverted from that game by a Tale of a Tub. And my genius being conceived to lie not unhappily that way, I had the honour done me to be engaged in the perfor

mance.

This is the fole defign in publishing the following treatise; which, I hope, will ferve for an interim of fome months to employ thofe unquiet fpirits, till the perfecting of that great work: Into the fecret of which, it is reafonable the courteous reader fhould have fome little light.

It is intended, that a large academy be erected, capable of containing nine thoufand feven hundred forty and three perfons; which, by modest computation, is reckoned to be pretty near the

current

current number of wits in this ifland. Thefe are to be difpofed into the several schools of this academy, and there pursue those studies to which their genius most inclines them. The undertaker himself will publifh his propofals with all convenient speed; to which I fhall refer the curious reader for a more particular account, mentioning at prefent only a few of the principal schools. There is, firft, a large pæderaftic fchool, with French and Italian mafters: There is, alfo, the Spelling school, a very spacious building; the school of looking-glaffes; the fchool of fwearing; the school of critics; the fchool of falivation; the fchool of hobby-horses; the school of poetry; the fchool of tops; the fchool of Spleen; the fchool of gaming; and many others too tedious to recount. No perfon to be admitted member into any of these schools, without an atteftation under two fufficient perfons hands, certifying him to be a wit.

But to return: I am fufficiently instructed in the principal duty of a preface, if my genius were capable of arriving at it. Thrice have I forced my imagination to make the tour of my invention, and thrice it has returned empty; the latter having been wholly drained by the following treatise. Not fo my more fuccessful brethren

the

* This I think the author fhould have omitted, it being of the very fame nature with the school of hobby-horses, if one may venture to cenfure one, who is fo fevere a cenfurer of others, perhaps with too little diftinction.

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the moderns, who will by no means let flip a preface or dedication without fome notable diftinguishing ftroke to furprise the reader at the entry, and kindle a wonderful expectation of what is to enfue. Such was that of a moft ingenious poet, who, foliciting his brain for fomething new, compared himself to the hangman, and his patron to the patient. This was infigne, recens, indictum ore alio*. When I went through that neceffary and noble course of study †, I had the happiness to obferve many fuch egregious touches; which I fhall not injure the authors by tranfplanting; because I have remarked, that nothing is fo very tender as a modern piece of wit, and which is very apt to fuffer fo much in the carriage. Some things are extremely witty to-day, or fafting, or in this place, or at eight a clock, or over a bottle, or spoke by Mr What d'y'call'm, or in a fummer's morning; any of the which, by the finalleft tranfpofal or mifapplication, is utterly annihilate. Thus, Wit has its walks and purlieus, out of which it may not stray the breadth of an hair, upon peril of being loft. The moderns have artfully fixed this mercury, and reduced it to the circumstances of time, place, and perfon. Such a jeft there is, that will not pafs out of Covent-garden; and fuch a one, that is no where intelligible but at Hyde-park corner. Now,

* Hor. Something extraordinary, new, and never hit upon

before.

† Reading prefaces, &c.

Now, though it fometimes tenderly affects me, to confider, that all the towardly paffages I fhall deliver in the following treatife will grow quite out of date and relish with the first shifting of the prefent fcene; yet I must needs subscribe to the juftice of this proceeding; because I cannot imagine why we fhould be at expence to furnish wit for fuccceding ages, when the former have made no fort of provifion for ours; wherein I fpeak the fentiment of the very neweft, and confequently the moft orthodox refiners, as well as my own. However, being extremely folicitous, that every accomplished perfon, who has got into the tafte of wit calculated for this present month of August 1697, fhould defcend to the very bottom of all the fublime throughout this treatife; I hold fit to lay down this general maxim: Whatever reader defires to have a thorough comprehenfion of an author's thoughts, cannot take a better method, than by putting himfelf into the circumftances and poftures of life, that the writer was in upon every important paffage, as it flowed from his pen; for this will introduce a parity and ftrict correfpondence of ideas between the reader and the author. Now, to affift the diligent reader in fo delicate an affair, as far as brevity will permit, I have recollected, that the fhrewdeft pieces of this treatife were conceived in bed, in a garret. At other times, for a reafon best known to myfelf, I thought fit to fharpen my invention with hunger; and, in

general,

general, the whole work was begun, continued, and ended, under a long courfe of phyfic, and a great want of money. Now, I do affirm, it will be absolutely impoffible for the candid peruser to go along with me in a great many bright paffages, unless, upon the feveral difficulties emergent, he will please to capacitate and prepare himself by thefe directions. And this I lay down as my principal poftulatum.

Because I have profeffed to be a most devoted fervant of all modern forms, I apprehend fome curious wit may object against me, for proceeding thus far in a preface, without declaiming, according to the cuftom, against the multitude of writers, whereof the whole multitude of writers moft reasonably complain. I am just come from perufing fome hundreds of prefaces, wherein the authors do at the very beginning addrefs the gentle reader concerning this enormous grievance. Of thefe I have preferved a few examples, and fhall fet them down as near as my memory has been able to retain them.

One begins thus:

For a man to fet up for a writer, when the prefs fwarms with, &c.

Another:

The tax upon paper does not leffen the number of fcribblers, who daily pefter, &c.

Another :

When every little would-be-wit takes pen in hand, 'tis in vain to enter the lifts, &c.

Another :

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