like other Infects, who having their Birth and Education in an Excrement, from thence borrow their Colour and their Smell. The Student of this Apartment is very fparing of his Words, but fomewhat over-liberal of his Breath; He holds his Hand out ready to receive your Penny, and immediately upon Receipt, withdraws to his former Occupations. Now, is it not amazing to think, the Society of Warwick-Lane, fhould have no more Concern, for the Recovery of fo useful a Member, who, if one may judge from thefe Appearances, would become the greatest Ornament to that Illuftrious Body? Another Student ftruts up fiercely to your Teeth, puffing with his Lips, half squeezing out his Eyes, and very graciously holds you our his Hand to kifs. The Keeper defires you not to be afraid of this Profeffor, for he will do you no Hurt: To him alone is allowed the Liberty of the Anti-Chamber, and the Orator of the Place gives you to understand, that this folemn Perfon is a Taylor run mad with Pride. This confiderable Student is adorned with many other Qualities, upon which, at prefent, I fhall not farther enlarge. N 3

Heark

Heark in

your

Ear

I am strangely mistaken, if all his Addrefs, his Motions, and his Airs, would not then be very natural, and in their proper Element.

I fhall not defcend fo minutely, as to infift upon the vaft Number of Beaux, Fidlers, Poets, and Politicians, that the World might recover by such a Refor mation; But what is more material, besides the clear Gain redounding

4

to

the Commonwealth, by fo large an Acquifition of Persons to employ, whose Talents and Acquirements, if I may be fo bold to affirm it, are now buried, or at leaft mifapplied: It would be a mighty Advantage accruing, to the Publick from this Enquiry, that all these would very much excel, and arrive at great Perfection in their several Kinds; which, I think, is manifest from what I have already fhewn; and shall inforce by this one plain Inftance; That even, I my felf, the Au. thor of these momentous Truths, am a Perfon, whose Imaginations are hard-mouth'd, and exceedingly difpofed to run away with his Reafon, which I have obferved from long Experience, to be a very light

Rider, and cafily fhook off; upon which Account, my Friends will never truft me alone, without a folemn Promise, to vent my Speculations in this, or the like manner, for the univerfal Benefit of Human. kind; which, perhaps, the gentle, courteous, and candid Reader, brimful of that Modern Charity and Tenderness, ufually annexed to his Office, will be very hardly perfuaded to believe.

184

S E C T. X

A TALE of a TU B.

T is an unanswerable Argument of a very refined Age, the wonderful Ci

I'

vilities that have paffed of late Years, between the Nation of Authors, and that of Readers. There can hardly pop out a Play, a Pamphlet, or a Poem, without a Preface full of Acknowledgements to the World, for the general Reception and Ap plause they have given it, which the Lord knows where, or when, or how, or from whom it received. In due Deference to fo laudable a Custom, I do here return my humble Thanks to His Majesty, and both Houses of Parliament; To the Lords of the King's most honourable Privy-Council, to the Reverend the Judges: To the Clergy, and Gentry, and Yeomantry of this Land: But in a more especial manner, to my worthy Brethren and Friends at Will's Coffee House, and Gresham College, and Warwick-Lane, and Moor-Fields, and Scotland Tard, and Westminster-Hall, and Guild Hall; In fhort, to all Inhabitants

and

and Retainers whatsoever, either in Court, or Church, or Camp, or City, or Country; for their generous and universal Acceptance of this Divine Treatife. I accept their Approbation, and good Opinion with extream Gratitude, and to the utmost of my poor Capacity, fhall take hold of all Opportunities to return the Obligation.

I am also happy, that Fate has flung me into fo bleffed an Age for the mutual Felicity of Bookfellers and Authors, whom I may fafely affirm to be at this Day the two only fatisfied Parties in England. Ask an Author how his laft Piece hath fucceeded; Why, truly be thanks his Stars, the World has been very favourable, and he has not the least Reafon to complain: And yet, By G-, He writ it in a Week at Bits and Starts, when he could steal an Hour from his urgent Affairs; as, it is a hundred to one, you may fee farther in the Preface, To which he refers you; and for the reft, to the Bookfeller. There you go as a Customer, and make the fame Question: He bleffes his God, the Thing takes wonderful, be his juft printing 4 Second Edition, and has but three left in bis Shop. You beat down the Price : Sir, we Shall