Enter Sir TоBY BELCH and MARIA. Sir To. Jove bless thee, master parson. Clo. Bonos dies, sir Toby. for as the old hermit of Prague, that never saw pen and ink, very wittily said to a niece of king Gorboduc, That, that is, is: so I, being master parson, am master parson: For what is that, but that? and is, but is? Sir To. To him, sir Topas. Clo. What, hoa, I Peace in this prison! say, Sir To. The knave counterfeits well; a good knave. Mal. [in an inner chamber.] Who calls there? Clo. Sir Topas, the curate, who comes to visit Malvolio the lunatick. Mal. Sir Topas, sir Topas, good sir Topas, go to my lady. Clo. Out, hyperbolical fiend! how vexest thou this man? talkest thou nothing but of ladies? Sir To. Well said, master parson. Mal. Sir Topas, never was man thus wronged: good sir Topas, do not think I am mad; they have laid me here in hideous darkness. Clo. Fye, thou dishonest Sathan! I call thee by the most modest terms; for I am one of those gentle ones, that will use the devil himself with courtesy: Say`st thou, that house is dark? Mal. As hell, sir Topas. Clo. Why, it hath bay-windows, transparent as barricadoes, and the clear stories towards the southnorth are as lustrous as ebony; and yet complainest thou of obstruction? Mal. I am not mad, sir Topas; I say to you, this house is dark. Clo. Madman, thou errest: I say, there is no darkness, but ignorance; in which thou art more puzzled, than the Egyptians in their fog. Mal. I say, this house is as dark as ignorance, though ignorance were as dark as hell; and I say, there was never man thus abused: I am no more mad than your are; make the trial of it in any constant question. Clo. What is the opinion of Pythagoras, concerning wild-fowl? Mal. That the soul of our grandam might haply inhabit a bird. Clo. What thinkest thou of his opinion? Mal. I think nobly of the soul, and no way approve his opinion. Clo. Fare thee well: Remain thou still in darkness: thou shalt hold the opinion of Pythagoras, ere I will allow of thy wits; and fear to kill a woodcock, lest thou dispossess the soul of thy grandam. Fare thee well. Mal. Sir Topas, sir Topas, Sir To. My most exquisite sir Topas ! Mar. Thou might'st have done this without thy beard, and gown; he sees thee not. Sir To. To him in thine own voice, and bring me word how thou findest him: I would, we were well rid of this knavery. If he may be conveniently delivered, I would he were; for I am now so far in offence with my niece, that I cannot pursue with Come by and any safety this sport to the upshot. by to my chamber. [Exeunt Sir TOBY and MARIA. Clo. Hey Robin, jolly Robin, Tell me how thy lady does. Clo. Master Malvolio' Mal. Ay, good fool. Clo. Alas, sir, how fell you besides your five wits? Mal. Fool, there was never man so notoriously abused: I am as well in my wits, fool, as thou art. Clo. But as well? then you are mad, indeed, if you be no better in your wits than a fool. Mal. They have here propertied me; keep me in darkness, send ministers to me, asses, and do all they can to face me out of my wits. Clo. Advise you what you say; the minister is here. Malvolio, Malvolio, thy wits the heavens restore! endeavour thyself to sleep, and leave thy vain bibble babble. am shent for speaking to you. Mal. Good fool, help me to some light, and some paper; I tell thee, I am as well in my wits as any man in Illyria. Clo. Well-a-day, that you were, sir! Mal. By this hand, I am: Good fool, some ink, paper, and light, and convey what I will set down to my lady; it shall advantage thee more than ever the bearing of letter did. Clo. I will help you to't. But tell me true, a you not mad indeed? or do you but counterfeit ? Mal. Believe me, I am not; I tell thee true. Clo. Nay, I'll ne'er believe a madman, till I see his brains. I will fetch you light, and paper, and ink. Mal. Fool, I'll requite in the highest degree: I pr'ythee, be gone. Seb. This is the air; that is the glorious sun; This pearl she gave me, I do feel't, and see't: And though 'tis wonder that enwraps me thus, Yet 'tis not madness. Where's Antonio then? I could not find him at the Elephant : Yet there he was; and there I found this credi:, Singing. That he did rage the town to seek me out. His counsel now might do me golden service: For though my soul disputes well with my sense, That this may be some error, but no madness, 2. Blame not this haste of mine: If you mean well, ACT V. Clo. Do not desire to see this letter. Fab. That is, to give a dog, and, in recompense, desire my dog again. Enter DUKE, VIOLA, and Attendants. Duke. Belong you to the lady Olivia, friends? Clo. Ay, sir; we are some of her trappings. Duke. I know thee well; How dost thou, my good fellow? Clo. Truly, sir, the better for my foes, and the worse for my friends. Duke. Just the contrary; the better for thy friends. Clo. Marry, sir, they praise me, and make an ass of me; now my foes tell me plainly I am an ass: so that by my foes, sir, I profit in the knowledge of myself; and by my friends I am abused: so that, conclusions to be as kisses, if your four negatives make your two affirmatives, why, then the worse for my friends, and the better for my foes. Duke. Why, this is excellent. Clo. By my troth, sir, no; though it please you to be one of my friends. Duke. Thou shalt not be the worse for me; there's gold. Clo. But that it would be double-dealing, sir, I Though, I confess, on base and ground enough, would you could make it another. Duke. O, you give me ill counsel. Clo. Put your grace in your pocket, sir, for this once, and let your flesh and blood obey it. Duke. Well, I will be so much a sinner to be a double dealer; there's another. Clo. Primo, secundo, tertio, is a good play; and the old saying is, the third pays for all: the triplex, sir, is a good tripping measure; or the bells of St. Bennet, sir, may put you in mind; One, two, three. Duke. You can fool no more money out of me at this throw: if you will let your lady know, I am here to speak with her, and bring her along with you, it may awake my bounty further. C. Marry, sir, lullaby to your bounty, till I That they may fairly note this act of mine! [Exeunt. come again. I go, sir; but I would not have you to think, that my desire of having is the sin of covetousness: but, as you say, sir, let your bounty take a nap, I will awake it anon. [Exit Clown. Enter ANTONIO and Officers. Vio. Here comes the man, sir, that did rescue me. Yet, when I saw it last, it was besmear'd 1 Off. Orsino, this is that Antonio, Vio. He did me kindness, sir; drew on my side; But, in conclusion, put strange speech upon me, I know not what 'twas, but distraction. Duke. Notable pirate! thou salt-water thief! What foolish boldness brought thee to their merries, Whom thou, in terms so bloody, and so dear, Hast made thine enemies? Ant. Orsino, noble sir, Orsino's Ant. To-day, my lord; and for three months Be that thou know'st thou art, and then thou art before, (No interim, not a minute's vacancy,) Both day and night did we keep company. Enter OLIVIA and Attendants. As great as that thou fear'st. - O, welcome, father Re-enter Attendant and Priest. Father, I charge thee, by thy reverence, Duke. Here comes the countess; now heaven To keep in darkness, what occasion now Duke. Gracious Olivia,· Oli. What do you say, Cesario? lord, Good my Vio. My lord would speak, my duty hushes me. Oli. If it be aught to the old tune, iny lord, It is as fat and fulsome to mine ear, As howling after musick. Duke. Still so cruel? Oli. Still so constant, lord. Duke. What! to perverseness? you uncivil lady, To whose ingrate and unauspicious altars My soul the faithfull'st offerings hath breath'd out, That e'er devotion tender'd! What shall I do? Oli. Even what it please my lord, that shall become him. Duke. Why should I not, had I the heart to do it, That screws me from my true place in your favour, I'll sacrifice the lamb that I do love, Oli. Where goes Cesario? Vio. [Following. After him I love, More than I love these eyes, more than my life, More, by all mores, than e'er I shall love wife: If I do feign, you witnesses above, Punish my life, for tainting of my love! Oli. Ah me, detested! how am I beguil'd! Vio. Who does beguile you? who does do you wrong? Oli. Hast thou forgot thyself? Is it so long?- Oli. Reveals before 'tis ripe,) what thou dost know, Strengthen'd by interchangement of your rings; Since when, my watch hath told me, toward my grave, I have travelled but two hours. Duke. O, thou dissembling cub! what wilt thou Sir And. He has broke my head across, and has given sir Toby a bloody coxcomb too: for the love of God, your help: I had rather than forty pound, I were at home. Oli. Who has done this, sir Andrew? Sir And. The count's gentleman, one Cesario: we took him for a coward, but he's the very devil incardinate. Duke. My gentleman, Cesario? Sir And. Od's lifelings, here he is : — You broke my head for nothing; and that that I did, I was set on to do't by sir Toby. Vio. Why do you speak to me? I never hurt you : You drew your sword upon me, without cause; Sir And. If a bloody coxcomb be a hurt, you have hurt me; I think, you set nothing by a bloody coxcomb. Enter Sir TOBY BELCH, drunk, led by the Clown. Here comes Sir Toby halting, you shall hear more: but if he had not been in drink, he would have tickled you othergates than he did. Duke. How now, gentleman? how is't with Oli. Away with him: Who hath made this haock with them? Sir And. I'll help you, sir Toby, because we'll be dressed together. Sir To. Will you help an ass-head, and a coxcomb, and a knave? a thin-faced knave, a gull? Oli. Get him to bed, and let his hurt be look'd to. [Ereunt Clown, Sir Tosy, and Sir ANDREW. Enter SEBASTIAN. Seb. I am sorry, madam, I have hurt your kins Seb. Do I stand there? I never had a brother: Seb. A spirit I am, indeed: And say And let me see thee in thy woman's weeds. Vio. The captain, that did bring me first on shore, Hath my maid's garments: he upon some action, Is now in durance; at Malvolio's suit, A gentleman, and follower of my lady's. Oli. He shall enlarge him: Fetch Malvolio hither: And yet, alas, now I remember me, They say, poor gentleman, he's much distract. A most extracting frenzy of mine own Clo. Truly, madam, he holds Belzebub at the stave's end, as well as a man in his case may do : he has here writ a letter to you, I should have given it you to-day morning; but as a madman's epistles are no gospels, so it skills not much, when they are delivered. Clo. No, madam, I do but read madness: your ladyship will have it as it ought to be, you must allow vox. Oli. Pr'ythee, read i'thy right wins. Clo. So I do, madonna; but to read his right wits, is to read thus: therefore perpend, my princess, and give ear. Oli. Read it you, sirrah. [TO FABIAN Fab. [reads.] By the Lord, madam, you wrong me, and the world shall know it: though you have put me into darkness, and given your drunken cousin rule over me, yet have I the benefit of my senses as well as your ladyship. I have your own letter that induced me to the semblance I put on ; with the which I doubt not but to do myself much right, or you much shame. Think of me as you please. 1 leave my duty a little unthought of, and speak out of my injury. The madly-used Malvolio. Vio. And died that day when Viola from her birth Had number'd thirteen years. Seb. O, that record is lively in my soul! He finished, indeed, his mortal act, Vio. If nothing lets to make us happy both But this my masculine usurp'd attire, I'll bring you to a captain in this town, Oli. Did he write this? Duke. This savours not much of distraction. My lord, so please you, these things further thought on, Where lie my maiden weeds; by whose gentle help To think me as well a sister as a wife, was preserv'd, to serve this noble count; But nature to her bias drew in that. You are betroth'd both to a maid and man. One day shall crown the alliance on't, so please you, Duke. Madam, I am most apt to embrace your Your master quits you; [To VIOLA.] and, for your So much against the mettle of your sex, May rather pluck on laughter than revenge; Oli. Alas, poor fool! how have they baffled thee! Clo. Why, some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrown upon them. I was one, sir, in this interlude; one sir Topas, sir; but that's all one: - - By the Lord, fool, I am not mad; But do you remember? Madam, why laugh you at such a barren rascal? an you smile not, he's gagg'd: And thus the whirligig of time brings ilere is my hand; you shall from this time be Your master's mistress. Oli. A sister?-you are she. Re-enter FABIAN, with MALVOLIO. Duke. Is this the madman? Oli. How now, Malvolio? Ay, my lord, this same : Madam, you have done me wrong, Mal. Notorious wrong. Oli. Have I, Malvolio? no. Mal. Lady, you have. Pray you, peruse that in his revenges. letter: You must not now deny it is your hand, Write from it, if you can, in hand, or phrase; Oli. Alas, Malvolio, this is not my writing, First told me, thou wast mad; then cam'st in smiling, And in such forms which here were presuppos'd Fab. Mal. I'll be revenged on the whole pack of you. [Exit. Oli. He hath been most notoriously abus'd. Duke. Pursue him, and entreat him to a peace: He hath not told us of the captain yet; When that is known and golden time convents, A solemn combination shall be made Of our dear souls-Mean time, sweet sister, SONG. Clo. When that I was and a little tiny boy, But when I came to man's estate, With he, ho, the wind and the rain, |