Imágenes de páginas
PDF
EPUB

thematized the weakness of others, she considered herself quite at liberty, by neglecting the amiable in manner, to render virtue odious, and her home disagreeable; and as long as she relentlessly denounced those whom passion had induced to desert their domestic duties, she considered herself quite justified in giving her own husband daily cause to wish, in vain, that she would follow their example, and leave

him in peace.

From all that Matilda that night both heard and saw, she felt but too sensibly the difference there was in her's and Ormsby's situation, True, they were at present, in every respect united; and she had never, for a moment, had the least reason to doubt his affection; on the contrary, his devotion had seemed only to increase with the continuance of the connexion. But should any thing happen to dissolve that connexion, how different upon the one and the other would be the consequences of separation! From his reception that night by the Olinskis', she persuaded herself that he would not only be restored to his former place in society, but that he would be perhaps more than ever recherché from his temporary seclusion. But what, on the other hand, would become of her? From what had that night passed on each side of her, she perceived, that if deprived of his protection, she should be exposed to every species of contumely;-that the two extremes of her own sex, differing in every thing else, could unite,

at least, in annoyance to her;-and, that from men, she would only have to choose between contemptuous neglect and still more insulting attentions.

The pain which these reflections gave her, did not make the time appear to pass more quickly, whilst in her solitary box she was impatiently awaiting Ormsby's return. She felt additionally hurt, too, that he should be so slow in perceiving that she was alone. He was no longer in the front place in the Olinskis' box, which he had at first occupied, and she had therefore concluded that he was on his return to her; and had been every moment expecting the door to be opened by him, when she observed that Madame Olinski was still talking with considerable animation to some one in the back of the box; and this person's head being for a moment advanced, she perceived it to be Ormsby, who was still there. This discovery was almost too much for her harassed spirits; particularly as the curtain dropped before Ormsby returned, saying, "What a short ballet! I had no idea it was so near over, or I would have returned sooner."

"Short, did you think it?" she replied; "to me it appeared to last for ever." "Have you been long alone?" added Ormsby. "I saw the Colonel still with you when I made a move to return to you some time back; but Madame Olinski insisted upon my not leaving them so soon, and they are so entertaining."

Matilda did not feel equal to making any comment upon their encomium at the time it was made, as they were at that moment descending the crowded staircase; but after they were in the carriage on their return home, Ormsby again resumed, "Indeed, I don't any where know such pleasant people as the Olinskis."

"Dear Ormsby," Matilda replied, in a voice of stifled emotion, "Are you sure that it is not the contrast to the life you have been lately leading, which makes you think so? Any one would appear pleasant after your poor Matilda, who can no longer boast that easy flow of spirits which is derived from a mind at ease, nor has yet attained the hardened feelings which habit, may perhaps some day or other give her." There was something in the plaintive but uncomplaining tone of this gentle appeal, which sensibly touched Ormsby. High spirits, a natural turn for society, and the first renewal of a former agreeable, though not valuable acquaintance, had led him for a moment into something very like neglect of Matilda; but not only was the ardour of his affection for her unabated, but he had at all times a most peculiar sensibility to self-reproach at having wounded the feelings of others. This made him suffer severely from the conviction that she had felt his conduct as neglect.

"Can you then suppose that all the frivolous amusement of all the Olinskis in the world, could

compensate to me for causing one moment's uneasiness to my own Matilda?" Thus he fervently exclaimed, and thus he truly felt ;-and the warning he then received, made him from that time more than ever scrupulous in his exclusive devotion to her.

CHAPTER XXX.

IT may perhaps be objected to my heroine, that she seems at this time only to have been rendered acutely sensible of the degradation of her situation, when brought actually in contact with the contempt of the world; and that at other times she appears to have enjoyed intervals of happiness. But let it be recollected, how long she had been a stranger to kindness or attention at home, and that now she was engrossed by the exclusive devotion of one whose whole business seemed to be to endeavour to conceal from her every reality but the consciousness of being beloved. But as each of these successive incidents served to rouse her better feelings, her sense of shame and remorse became more and more acute, and the intervening gleams more broken and disturbed.

In pursuance of his desire to alleviate the inevitable desagrémens of Matilda's situation, and prevent

her attention from dwelling upon the mortifications which might follow every attempt to mingle again in society, Ormsby proposed a party to Pæstum. To this Matilda willingly acceded, and Colonel Canteen and Mr. Wordsworth also begged to be allowed to accompany them. The drive from Naples to Pæstum was delightful, it being just the season when such an excursion is most enjoyable. The first September rains were just over, and the cloudless brilliancy of the sky was restored, with that renewed freshness which the long continuance of dry weather had previously destroyed.

The pre-arrangement of a party of pleasure is not in Italy, as it is in England, offering a certain premium for disappointment. In England, the longexpected morning is sure to be ushered in by a falling glass and lowering clouds; and after a doubtful debate of "To be, or not to be?"-when the devoted victims at last desperately determine to persevere— parasols are exchanged for umbrellas, the gay holiday garb is shrouded in the thickest cloaks, and with funereal faces they start in pursuit of painful pleasure; probably on a water party-with as much of that element above as below them-and adding the certainty of being drenched to the chance of being drowned. But in Italy the rain descends at stated periods, does its duty, and then is no longer a matter of speculation or of dread.

Upon arriving at Pæstum, whilst Matilda stopped

« AnteriorContinuar »