Extracts from Private Journal. 51 Roman Catholics were not Americans, for which reason she insisted upon their being taken from the consul, who transcended his powers in protecting them. These were the only points touched upon in the correspondence; and, on remarking that they were not enough to sustain the allegations made in his conversation of yesterday, he said that Commodore Read had the other papers, which he would procure; but he never presented them. I candidly told him that the data were not sufficient to enable me to form an opinion; but from what I had read and heard, I was convinced that no consul had a right to throw our flag around foreign Catholics to shield them from the laws of a government within his consulate." The events of this cruise entered deeply into the religious feelings of Lieutenant Foote, and his private journal gives indications of great mental trials and heart-searchings. A few quotations will doubtless prove interesting to the readers of this book, for, as has been said, though not a perfect man, the springs of our hero's character are to be found in his religious nature, and in his intense and unvarying desire to "act for God." These meditations show that, while above all a man of action, he did not live a shallow, surface life, but that the roots of his actions had their nourishment in a more hidden life: "U. S. SHIP JOHN ADAMS,' VALPARAISO, January 7, 1840. "Discard the secret whisperings of pride. It is Christ himself that must be formed in the soul the hope of glory. Therefore, my soul, look to Jesus your Redeemer, and the Holy Spirit your Sanctifier, and give God all the glory for every good impulse of the affections. "This day I renewedly dedicate myself to God; and although trials and temptations await me in a man-of-war, still grace is sufficient to overcome all, if I am faithful to the means which the Holy Scriptures furnish. Enlighten my mind to cherish clear conceptions of thy character, oh God. Communicate thy grace to my dear orphan daughter, that she may early be prepared to serve thee." "VALPARAISO, February 7. "This day I observe as one of prayer and humiliation for the manifold evils of my heart. I deplore the ascendency of my passions and my pride. The world appears to be too much in a heart that is dedicated to God. Blessed Jesus! show me my true character. Give me a view of spiritual things. "I resolve to watch and pray, to bear in mind that the Christian life is a warfare, that one must be uncompromising in his principles. I resolve to guard my tongue from speaking injuriously of others; to avoid levity of manner, on the one hand, and moroseness on the other; to perform the executive duties of the ship with impartiality, feeling that my official acts will be closely criticised on account of my profession of Christian principles; to devote every day suitable time to meditation and prayer, letting no day pass without one hour being wholly spent in religious reading and devotion." "AT SEA, March 19th. "Who shall deliver me from the body of this death? Why with the fruits of holiness can not the Christian be satisfied? Alas! in my own case, the world, its honors and varied sources of gratification, steal upon me and are incorporated into all my plans." "AT SEA, April 2. "My mind being in an unusual state this day, induces me to note the circumstance notwithstanding the gale. Some trials belonging to the service cause me unpleasant feelings, but especially the singular deportment of a friend. Earthly ties bind us to the world, and when they are sundered we should throw ourselves on Him who is without variableness or shadow of turning. "Oh, enable me to become less sensitive to mortal friendships, and transfer my affections to my Redeemer; and, Heavenly Father, give me influence, that souls may be weaned from the world and placed supremely on thee. Bless this ship, her officers and men." "AT SEA, April 22. "Doubts as to the Christian religion suddenly flashed across my mind last evening. Why are these things? I know not, unless it is to show us our weakness, and that we must ever in this warfare rely on Christ." 66 AT SEA, May 21. "I could give wings to my faith, such are my views and feelings to-day. But, alas! what have they been the last month? Such as to condemn me, for the pride and vanity about the appearance of the ship, instances of passion, and coldness in my devotions. I would humble myself before God this day." Extracts from Private Journal. "AT SEA, June 9. 53 "We are rapidly drawing to the end of our cruise, a good emblem of life; and it becomes me to look back to the cruise of my life for the evidences that Christ has been formed in the soul. "The coming week is likely to be one of excitement to me. May my weakness prove my strength! Blessed Redeemer, to thee I look for grace according to temptation. "Our Father, I renew to thee this day my obligations and vows to be thine-wholly thine. I come to deplore the levity of my character, and yet I come blessing thee. I come with the desire to be taught of God through Christ and the Holy Spirit, so to live and act in my situation as to thy glory, and that my highest ambition may ever lie in being conformed to the will of God. Amen." Upon the thirty-fourth anniversary of his birth, September 12, 1840, he wrote: "Oh how mingled are the emotions of my mind. It seems as if love, joy, gratitude, on the one hand, with sorrow and contrition of soul on the other, were all at work within me. The Christian is told in the Word of God that Christ is an all-sufficient Saviour, and he is able and ready in all circumstances to sustain us in a life of perfect obedience, if we exercise faith in him. May this year be so passed as to meet thy acceptance; and if I am to leave this world before its expiration, enable me cheerfully to ` acquiesce." pride. The world appears to be too much in a heart that is dedicated to God. Blessed Jesus! show me my true character. Give me a view of spiritual things. "I resolve to watch and pray, to bear in mind that the Christian life is a warfare, that one must be uncompromising in his principles. I resolve to guard my tongue from speaking injuriously of others; to avoid levity of manner, on the one hand, and moroseness on the other; to perform the executive duties of the ship with impartiality, feeling that my official acts will be closely criticised on account of my profession of Christian principles; to devote every day suitable time to meditation and prayer, letting no day pass without one hour being wholly spent in religious reading and devotion." "AT SEA, March 19th. "Who shall deliver me from the body of this death? Why with the fruits of holiness can not the Christian be satisfied? Alas! in my own case, the world, its honors and varied sources of gratification, steal upon me and are incorporated into all my plans." "AT SEA, April 2. 'My mind being in an unusual state this day, induces me to note the circumstance notwithstanding the gale. Some trials belonging to the service cause me unpleasant feelings, but especially the singular deportment of a friend. Earthly ties bind us to the world, and when they are sundered we should throw ourselves on Him who is without variableness cr shadow of turning. 'Oh, enable me to become less sensitive to mortal friendships, and transfer my affections to my Redeemer; and, Heavenly Father, give me influence, that souls may be weaned from the world and placed supremely on thee. Bless this ship, her officers and men.” "AT SEA, April 22. "Doubts as to the Christian religion suddenly flashed across my mind last evening. Why are these things? I know not, unless it is to show us our weakness, and that we must ever in this warfare rely on Christ." "AT SEA, May 21. "I could give wings to my faith, such are my views and feelings to-day. But, alas! what have they been the last month? Such as to condemn me, for the pride and vanity about the appearance of the ship, instances of passion, and coldness in my devotions. I would humble myself before God this day." Extracts from Private Journal. "AT SEA, June 9. 53 "We are rapidly drawing to the end of our cruise, a good emblem of life; and it becomes me to look back to the cruise of my life for the evidences that Christ has been formed in the soul. "The coming week is likely to be one of excitement to me. May my weakness prove my strength! Blessed Redeemer, to thee I look for grace according to temptation. "Our Father, I renew to thee this day my obligations and vows to be thine-wholly thine. I come to deplore the levity of my character, and yet I come blessing thee. I come with the desire to be taught of God through Christ and the Holy Spirit, so to live and act in my situation as to thy glory, and that my highest ambition may ever lie in being conformed to the will of God. Amen." Upon the thirty-fourth anniversary of his birth, September 12, 1840, he wrote: "Oh how mingled are the emotions of my mind. It seems as if love, joy, gratitude, on the one hand, with sorrow and contrition of soul on the other, were all at work within me. The Christian is told in the Word of God that Christ is an all-sufficient Saviour, and he is able and ready in all circumstances to sustain us in a life of perfect obedience, if we exercise faith in him. May this year be so passed as to meet thy acceptance; and if I am to leave this world before its expiration, enable me cheerfully to acquiesce." |