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• bear my name ; and your pride, that you are the de• light, the darling and ornament of a man of honour, ' useful and esteemed by his friends ; and I no longer • one that has buried some merit in the world, in com• pliance to a froward humour, which has grown upon
an agreeable woman by his indulgence. Mr. Freeman ended this with a tenderness in his aspect and a downcast eye,
which shewed he was extremely moved at the anguish he faw her in ; for she fat swelling with paf! sion, and her eyes firmly fixed on the fire ; when
I, fearing he would lose all again, took upon me to provoke her out of that amiable sorrow she was in, to fall
upon me; upon which I said very seasonably for my friend, that indeed Mr. Freeman was become the common talk of the town; and that nothing was so much a jest, as when it was said in company Mr. Freeman has promised to come to such a place. Upon which the good lady turned her softness intodownright rage, and threw the scalding tea-kettle upon your
humble servant; few into the middle of the room, ' and cried out she was the unfortunatest of all women:
others kept family diffatisfactions for hours of privacy and retirement : no apology was to be made to her, no expedient to be found, no previous manner of breaking what was amiss in her; but all the world was
to be acquainted with her errors, without the leaft ad" monition. Mr. Freeman was going to make a softening
speech, but I interposed ; look you, madam, I have nothing to say to this matter, but you ought to consider you are now paft a chicken; this humour, which was well enough in a girl, is insufferable in one o your motherly character. With that she lost all patience, and flew directly at her husband's periwig. I got her in my arms, and defended my friend : he making signs at the same time that it was too much ; I beckoning, nodding, and frowning over her shoulder, that he was loft if he did not perfift. In this manner we flew round and round the room in a moment, until the lady I spoke of above and servants entered ; upon which she fell on a couch as breathless. I still kept up ny friend ; but he, with a very filly air, bid them bring the coach to the door, and we went off, I being
• forced to bid the coachman drive on. We were no • sooner come to my lodgings, but all his wife's relati
ons came to inquire after him ; and Mrs. Freeman's • mother writ a note, wherein she thought never to ' have seen this day, and so forth.
• In a word, fir, I am afraid we are upon a thing we I have not talents for ; and I can observe already, my • friend looks upon me rather as a man who knows a I weakness of him that he is ashamed of, than one who • has rescued him from Davery. Mr. SpectATOR, I am • but a young fellow, and if Mr. Freeman submits, I ' shall be looked upon as an incendiary, and never get
wife as long as I breathe. He has indeed sent word ' home he shall lie at Hampstead to-night ; but I believe • fear of the first onset after this rupture has too great
a place in this resolution. Mrs. Freeman has a very 'pretty fifter; suppose I delivered him up, and articled
with the mother for her for bringing him home. If he • has not courage to stand it, you are a great casuist, ' is it such an ill thing to bring myself off, as well as I
can? What makes me doubt my man, is, that I • find he thinks it reasonable to expoftulate at least ' with her; and Capt.Sentry will tell you, if you let
your orders be disputed, you are no longer à com• mander. I wish you could advise me how to get clear, of this business handsomely.
• Tom MEGGOT.'
Thursday, November 8.
Tunc fæmina fimplex
Juv. Sat. 6. ver. 326.
I SHALL entertain my reader to-day with some letters
from my correspondents. The firit of them is the description of a club, whether real or imaginary, I cannot determine ; but am apt to fancy, that the writer of it, whoever she is, has formed a kind of nocturnal orgie out of her own fancy : whether this be so or not, her letter may conduce to the amendment of that kind of persons who are represented in it, and whose characters are frequent enough in the world.
« Mr. SPECTATOR,
IN some of your papers you were pleased to give ' the public a very diverting account of several clubs • and nocturnal assemblies, but I am a member of a • Society which has wholly escaped your notice, I mean 'a club of fhe-romps. 'We take each a hackney• coach, and meet once a week in a large upper cham
ber, which we hire by the year for that purpose ; our • landlord and his family, who are quiet people, con* stantly contriving to be abroad on our club-night. We
are no sooner come together, than we throw off all that modefty and reservedness with which our sex are obliged to disguise themselves in public places. I am not able to express the pleasure we enjoy from ten at night until four in the morning, in being as rude as you inen can be for your lives.
As our play runs high, the room is iminediately filled with broken fans,
torn petticoats, lappets, or head-dresses, flounces, • furbelows, garters, and working aprons. I had for
got to tell you at first, that besides the coaches we
• come in ourselves, there is one which stands always
empty to carry off our dead men, for so we call allthose fragments and tatters with which the room is strewed, and which we pack up togetherinbundles and put into the aforesaid coach: it is no small diversion for us to meet the next night at some member's chamber,
where every one is to pick out what belonged to her • from this confused bundle of filks, stuffs, laces, and
ribbons. I have hitherto given you an account of our • diversion on ordinary club-nights ; but must acquaint
you further, that once a month we demolish a prude, that is, we get
formal creature in among us, and unrig her in an instant. Our laft month's prude was so armed and fortified in whalebone and buckram, that we had much ado to come at her ; but you would
have died with laughing to have seen how the fober s aukward thing looked when she was forced out of her • intrenchments. In short, fir, it is impossible to give
you a true notion of our sport, unless you would come
one night amongst us ; and though it be directly against • the rules of our society to admit
a male visitant, we re* pose so much confidence in your silence and taciturnity, • that it was agreed by the whole club, at our last meet• ing, to give you entrance for one night as a spectator.
• I am your humble servant,
• Kitty TERMAGANT.
· P. S. We shall demolish a prude next Thursday.'
Though I thank Kitty for her kind offer, I do not at present find in myself any inclination to venture my perTon with her and her romping companions. I should regard myself as a second Clodius, intruding on the mylterious' rights of the Bona Dea, and should apprehend being demolished as much as the prude.
The following letter comes from a gentleman, whose taste I find is much too delicate to endure the least advance towards romping. I may perhaps hereafter improve upon the hint he has given me, and make it the subject of a whole Spectator ; in the mean time take it as it follows in his own words.
Mr. SPECTATOR, • IT is my misfortune to be in love with a young creature who is daily committing faults, which ' though they give me the utmost uneasiness, I know ! not how to reprove her for, or even acquaint her with. . She is pretty, dresses well, is rich, and good-humoured; • but either wholly neglects, or has no notion of that "which polite people have agreed to distinguish by the name of delicacy. After our return from a walk the other day, she threw herself into an elbow-chair, and profeffed before a large company, that she was all
over in a sweat." She told me this afternoon that “ her stomach aked ;" and was complaining yesterday at ' dinner of something that “ stuck in her teeth." I • treated her with a basket of fruit last summer, which • The eat so
very greedily, as almost made me resolve never to see her more. In short, sir, I begin to trem" ble whenever I see her about to speak or move. As "she does not want sense, if she takes these hints I am happy; if not, I am more than afraid, that these things which shock me even in the behaviour of mistress, will appear insupportable in that of a wife.
am, Sir, yours, &c.' My next letter comes from a correspondent whom I cannot but very much value upon the account which she gives of herself.
« Mr. SPECTATOR,
I AM happily arrived at a state of tranquillity, • which few people envy, I mean that of an old maid ; • therefore being wholly unconcerned in all that medley • of follies which our sex is apt to contract from their
filly fondness of yours, I read your railleries on us • without provocation. I can say with Hainlet,
-Man delights not me, « Nor woman neither"• Therefore, dear fir, as you never spare your own
sex, do not be afraid of reproving what is ridiculous in ours, and
will oblige at least one woman, whois
• SUSANNA Frost.'