faith, and I am afraid I cannot send this till Thursday, for I must see the secretary to-morrow morning, and be in some other place in the evening. 25. Stella writes like an emperor, and gives such an account of her journey, never saw the like. Let me see; stand away, let us compute; you staid four days at InishCorthy; two nights at Mrs Proby's mother's; and yet was but six days in journey; for your words are, "We left Wexford this day se'ennight, and came here last night." I have heard them say that travellers may lie by authority. Make up this, if you can. How far is it from Wexford to Dublin? how many miles did you travel in a day? Let me see-thirty pounds in two months, is nine score pounds a year; a matter of nothing in Stella's purse. I dreamed Billy Swift was alive, and that I told him you writ me word he was dead, and that you had been at his funeral, and I admired at your impudence, and was in mighty haste to run and let you know what lying rogues you were. Poor lad, he is dead of his mother's former folly and fondness, and yet now I believe, as you say, that her grief will soon wear off. O yes, Madam Dingley, mightily tired of the company, no doubt of it, at Wexford! and your description of it is excellent; clean sheets, but bare walls; I suppose then you lay upon the walls. Mrs Walls has got her tea, but who pays me the money? come, I shall never get it, so I make a present of it to stop some gaps, &c. Where's the thanks of the house? so, that's well; why, it cost four-and-thirty shillings English.-You must adjust that with Mrs Walls; I think that is so many pence more with you. No, Leigh and Sterne, I suppose, were not at the water-side; I fear Sterne's business will not be done; I have not seen him this good while. I hate him * for the management of that box, and I was the greatest fool in nature for trusting to such a young jackanapes; I will speak to him once more about it, when I see him. Mr Addison and I met once more since, and I supped with him I believe I told you so somewhere in this letter. The archbishop chose an admirable messenger in Walls to send to me, yet I think him fitter for a messenger than any thing. The d- she has! I did not observe her looks. Will she rot out of modesty with Lady Gifford? I pity poor Jenny t-but her husband is a dunce, and with respect to him, she loses little by her deafness. I believe, Madam Stella, in your accounts you mistook one liquor for another, and it was a hundred and forty quarts of wine, and thirty-two of water.— This is all written in the morning, before I go to the secretary, as I am now doing. I have answered your letter a little shorter than ordinary; but I have a mind it should go to-day, and I will give you my journal at night in my next, for I'm so afraid of another letter before this goes: I will never have two together again unanswered. What care I for Dr Tisdall and Dr Raymond, or how many children they have? I wish they had a hundred a-piece. Lord-treasurer promises me to answer the bishops' letter to-morrow, and show it me; and I believe it will confirm all I said, and mortify those that threw the merit on the Duke of Ormond. For I have made him jealous of it; and t'other day, talking of the matter, he said, I am your witness you got it for them before the duke was lord-lieutenant. My humble ser * Some resolution of Mrs Johnson, Stella's mother, in compliance with Lady Gifford's wishes. vice to Mrs Walls, Mrs Stoyte, and Catherine. Farewell, &c. What do you do when you see any literal mistakes in my letters? how do you set them right? for I never read them over to correct them. Farewell again. Pray send this note to Mrs Brent, to get the money. when Parvisol comes to town, or she can send to him. LETTER XXXI. London, Sept. 25, 1711. I DINED in the city to-day, and at my return I put my 30th into the post-office; and when I got home, I found for me one of the noblest letters I ever read; it was from three sides and a half in folio, on a large sheet of paper; the two first pages made up of satire upon London, and crowds and hurry, stolen from some of his own school-boy's exercises: the side and a half remaining is spent in desiring me to recommend Mrs South, your commissioner's widow, to my lord-treasurer for a pension. He is the prettiest, discreetest fellow that ever my eyes beheld, or that ever dipped pen into ink. I know not what to say to him. A pox on him, I have too many such customers on this side already. I think I will send him word that I never saw my lordtreasurer in my life: I am sure I industriously avoided the name of any great person when I saw him, for fear of his reporting it in Ireland. And this recommendation must be a secret too, for fear the Duke of Bolton should know it, and think it was too mean. I never read so d―d a letter in my life: a little would make me send it over to you. I must send you a pattern, the first place I cast my eyes on, I will not pick and choose. In this place, (meaning the Exchange in London,) which is the compendium of old Troynovant, as that is of the whole busy world, I got such a surfeit, that I grew sick of mankind, and resolved for ever after to bury myself in the shady retreat of. You must know that London has been called by some Troynovant, or New Troy. Will you have any more? Yes, one little bit for Stella, because she'll be fond of it. This wondrous theatre (meaning London) was no more to me than a desart, and I should less complain of solitude in a Connaught shipwreck, or even the great bog of Allen. A little scrap for Mrs Marget, * and then I have done. Their royal fanum, wherein the idol Pecunia is daily worshipped, seemed to me to be just like a hive of bees working and labouring under huge weights of cares. Fanum is a temple, but he means the Exchange; and Pecunia is money: so now Mrs Marget will understand her part. One more paragraph, and I-Well, come, don't be in such a rage, you shall have no more. Pray, Stella, be satisfied; 'tis very pretty and that I must be acquainted with such a dog as this !-Our peace goes on fast. Prior was with the secretary two hours. this morning I was there a little after he went away, and was told it. I believe he will soon be dispatched again to France; and I will put somebody to write an account of his second journey: I hope you have seen the other. This letter has taken up my time with storming at it. *Stella's maid. 26. Bernage has been with me these two days; yesterday I send for him to let him know, that Dr Arbuthnot is putting in strongly to have his brother made a captain over Bernage's head. Arbuthnot's brother is but an ensign; but the doctor has great power with the queen yet he told me, he would not do any thing hard to a gentleman who is my friend; and I have engaged the secretary and his colonel for him. To-day he told me very melancholy, that the other had written from Windsor (where he went to solicit) that he has got the company; and Bernage is full of the spleen. I made the secretary write yesterday a letter to the colonel in Bernage's behalf. I hope it will do yet; and I have written to Dr Arbuthnot to Windsor, not to insist on doing such a hardship. I dined in the city at Pontack's, with Stratford; it cost me seven shillings: he would have treated, but I did not let him. I have removed my money from the bank to another fund. I desired Parvisol may speak to Hawkshaw to pay in my money when he can; for I will put it in the funds; and, in the mean time, borrow so much of Mr Secretary, who offers to lend it me. Go to the dean's, sirrahs. 27. Bernage was with me again to-day, and is in great fear, and so was I; but this afternoon, at lordtreasurer's, where I dined, my brother, George Granville, secretary at war, after keeping me a while in suspense, told me, that Dr Arbuthnot had waved the business, because he would not wrong a friend of mine; that his brother is to be a lieutenant, and Bernage is made a captain. I called at his lodging, and the soldier's coffee-house, to put him out of pain, but cannot find him; so I have left word, and shall see him to-morrow morning, I suppose. Bernage is now easy; he has ten |