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London, Sept. 21, 1710. HERE must I begin another letter, on a whole sheet, for fear saucy little MD should be angry, and think much that the paper is too little. I had your letter this night, as I told you just and no more in my last ; for this must be taken up in answering yours, sauce-box. I believe I told you where I dined to-day; and to-morrow I go out of town for two days to dine with the same company on Sunday ; Molesworth the Florence envoy, * Stratford, † and some others. I heard to-day that a gentlewoman from Lady Giffard's house had been at the coffeehouse to inquire for me. It was Stella's mother, I suppose. I shall send her a penny-post letter to-morrow, and contrive to see her without hazarding seeing Lady Giffard, which I will not do until she begs my pardon.
22. I dined to-day at Hampstead with Lady Lucy, &c. and when I got home found a letter from Joe, with one inclosed to Lord Wharton, which I will send to his excellency, and second it as well as I can ; but to talk of getting the queen's orders is a jest. Things are in such a combustion here, that I am advised not to meddle yet in the affair ) am upon, which concerns the clergy of a whole kingdom ; * and does he think any body will trouble the queen about Joe? We shall, I hope, get a recommendation from the lord-lieutenant to the trustees for the linen business, and I hope that will do; and so I will write to him in a few days, and he must have patience. This is an answer to part of your letter as well as his. I lied, it is to-morrow I
* John Molesworth, then envoy extraordinary to the King of Sardinia, and afterwards employed in similar trust by George I. He succeeded to the title of Lord Viscount Molesworth, and died the same year, 1723.
† A merchant in the city, often afterwards mentioned.
to the country; and I will not answer a bit more of your let
23. Here is such a stir and bustle with this little MD of ours; I must be writing every night; I cannot go to bed without a word to them ; I cannot put out my candle till I have bid them good night; O Lord, O Lord! Well, I dined the first time, to-day, with Will Frankland and his fortune; she is not very handsome. Did I not say I would go out of town to-day? I hate lying abroad and clutter ; I go to-morrow in Frankland's chariot, and come back at night. Lady Berkeley + has invited me to Berkeley Castle, and Lady Betty Germain to Drayton in Northamptonshire, and I will go to neither. Let me alone, I must finish my pamphlet. I have sent a long letter to Bickerstaff: let the Bishop of Clogher smoke it if he can. I Well, I will write to the Bishop of Killala ; but you might have told him how sudden and unexpected my journey was though. Deuce take Lady S-; and if I know D-y, he is a rawboned faced fellow, not handsome, nor visibly so young as you say; she sacrifices two thousand pounds a year, and keeps only six hundred. Well, you have had all my land journey in my second letter, and so much for that. So, you have got into Presto's lodgings ; very fine, truly ! We have had a fortnight of the most glorious weather on earth, and still continues : I hope you have made the best of it. Ballygall will be a pure good place for air, if Mrs Ashe makes good her promise. Stella writes like an emperor : I am afraid it hurts your eyes; take care of that pray, pray Mrs Stella. Cannot
* The business of the first-fruits.
+ Lady of the Earl of Berkeley, to whom Swift was chaplain, and for some time private secretary, during his lieutenancy in Ireland. Swift had infinite contempt for the lord, but a regard almost proportional for the countess.
# This was probably the Tatler, No. 74, in which Swift proposes to fix the table of fame. It was published 29th September 1710.
you do what you will with your own horse ? Pray do not let that puppy Parvisol sell him. Patrick is drunk about three times a week, and I bear it, and he has got the better of me; but one of these days I will positively turn him off to the wide world, when none of you are by to intercede for him.-Stuff–how can I get her husband into the Charter House?-get a— into the Charter House. *—Write constantly! Why, sirrah, do not I write every day, and sometimes twice a day to MD? Now I have answered all your letter, and the rest must be as it can be; send me my bill. Tell Mrs Brent f what I say of the Charter House. I think this enough for one night; and so farewell till this time to-morrow.
24. To-day I dined six miles out of town at Will Pate's with Stratford, Frankland, and the Molesworths, and came home at night, and was weary and lazy. I can say no more now, but good night.
* In these sort of broken ejaculations Swift answers the paragraphs of the lady's letter, which was then lying before him.
+ Swift's housekeeper.
25. I was so lazy to-day that I dined at next door, * and have sat at home since six, writing to the Bishop of Clogher, Dean Sterne, and Mr Manley: the last, because I am in fear for him about his place, and have sent him my opinion, what I and his other friends here think he ought to do. I hope he will take it well. My advice was, to keep as much in favour as possible with Sir Thomas Frankland, his master here.
26. Smoke how I widen the margin by lying in bed when I write. My bed lies on the wrong side for me, so that I am forced often to write when I am up. Manley, you must know, has had people putting in for his place already; and has been complained of for opening letters. Remember that last Sunday, September 24, 1710, was as hot as Midsummer. This was written in the morning; it is now night, and Presto in bed. Here's a clutter, I have gotten MD's second letter, and I must answer it here. I gave the bill to Tooke, and so-Well, I dined to-day with Sir John Holland the comptroller, and sat with him till eight; then came home and sent my letters, and writ part of a lampoon, + which goes on very slow, and now I am writing to saucy MD; no wonder, indeed, good boys must write to naughty girls. I have not seen your mother yet; my penny-post letter, I suppose, miscarried : I will write another. Mr
Scame to see me; and said Mwas going to the country next morning with her husband, (who I find is a surly brute,) so I could only desire my service to her.
* Probably at Mrs Vanhomrigh’s.
+ The Virtues of Sid Hamet the Magician's Rod. A severe satire on Godolphin, the ex-treasurer.
27. To-day all our company dined at Will Frankland's, with Steele and Addison too. This is the first rainy day since I came to town; I cannot afford to answer your letter yet. Morgan, the puppy, writ me a long letter to desire I would recommend him for
pursebearer, or secretary to the next lord chancellor that would come with the next governor.
I will not answer him; but beg you will say these words to his father, Raymond, or any body that will tell him ; that Dr Swift has received his letter, and would be very ready to serve him, but cannot do it in what he desires, because he has no sort of interest in the persons to be applied to. These words you may write, and let Joe, or Mr Warburton, * give them to him: a pox on him! However, it is by these sort of ways that fools get preferment. I must not end yet, because I cannot say good night without losing a line, and then MD would scold; but now, good night.
28. I have the finest piece of Brazil tobacco for Dingley that ever was born. You talk of Leigh ; why, , he will not be in Dublin these two months : he the country, then returns to London, to see how the world goes here in parliament. Good night, sirrahs ; no, no, not night ; I writ this in the morning, and looking carelessly I thought it had been of last night. I dined to-day with Mrs Barton alone at her lodgings, where she told me for certain that Lady S-was with child when she was last in England, and pretended a tympany, and saw every body; then disappeared for three weeks, her tympany was gone, and she looked like a ghost, &c. No wonder she married when she was so
* The doctor's curate at his living of Laracor.